Moral and Friendship
Would you continue your friendship with a friend whose morals and principles clash with yours ? I am not talking of criminal activities here but basic beliefs like honesty and greed. A question which stems from my own dilemma. Trying to warn her as a friend has resulted in heated arguments where she feels she is 'in tune' with time and justifies what I feel is morally wrong. Her personal life is none of my business though but I am affected by her insensitiveness. Hence ....????
That's right, brit, it starts while the embryo is still in the womb. When I was 3 I heard only classical music at home. And I was brought up as a Catholic. The problem my parents had with me was that I did not believe them just because they were my parents. They failed to prove their opinions. This is also called "Pedagogic Counteraction" in the Sociology literature. I am a splendid example of that. Still.
Morals and values at an early age are transferred from parents and family are they not ?
It is as we grow older that we make choices. Hence as you mature, you may decide to explore other forms of music or literature..
nieztsche's wille zur macht deserves mention somewere surely :(
Homer did not write the Iliad. It was written by someone with the same name.
Brit, Homer wrote the Iliad to transfer moral and values. Goethe wrote his (stupid) Dr. Faustus to transfer moral and values. And classical music also transfers values, like discipline, virtuosity and sincerity. Jean Paul Sartre wrote to transfer his values and moral of Existentialism. No?
I was answering the question regarding Morals and values. Taste in reading or music does not have any real relation to morals or values does it?
brit, my father loved classical music, Homer and Goethe. I went for Elvis Presley and Sartre. Can you imagine how different our values were?
We live by our vaolues. These values are also transmitted to our offspring. So, I would not want my children to be exposed to values which go against my mine.
Blue nails - you are my buddy now.
Tess - If you don't buy a train ticket when you have enough money in your pocket that is my yardstick to measure dishonesty. Not that she (my friend) has done that but you get an idea.
Tangramfan - You ask/say, do I think myself as morally superior to others ? Actually, my guilt stems from the same question. I have many flaws within me so do I continue my friendship ignoring her weaknesses ? But there is another part in me which says I am an accomplice to all her immoral activities if I am aware of it. I feel some discomfort I cannot define.
clash with mine... but up to now we are still very much friends... it gets to my nerves sometimes but all i can do is to respect her decisions. i let her see what the consequences will be, but that's all i can ever do, it's still up to her coz i can never force anybody to change overnight... just take a breath of fresh air if it's getting in your nerves ... and save the friendship if it's worth saving... friends are hard to find, you just have to put some space from time to time but don't ever give it up
mom_me, we choose our freinds.. its a privilegde. thats why i choose you! add me as your buddy ok?
Indeed, vegas.
You can't teach experience...
No, vegas. (I'm speaking for me only, of course)
alexa, i agree with you our kids are our utmost resposibility to educate and guide.. to mold them to become a person that we ought to be. BUT my style as a parent is to be friends with them so I can know their "in and outs" - no secrets, they treat me as their best friend and so that I am also of great influence to them to do good.
You can't teach experience...
You can't teach experience...
no problem, Alexa.
Your definition of "friend" and mine seem to differ quite a lot, alexa.
I am sure about it, heero, concerning my kids. And I am sure about it concerning my parents, too. And I am sure my kids view it the same.
...but how people view their own children...I'm not sure about that...
"Everything in this book may be wrong." Illusions: The Adventures of The Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach
When you have kids, they are your friends, and you, hopefully, are their friend. When they grow up and live their lives they may develop different views. Do you then quit being their friend?
It's important that your friend knows about your sides or reasons of the 'wrong' things you think your friend is doing...Afterall, the final decision lies with your friend...
To continue the friendship??the decision also lies in you...
me, i will still do..it's up to me if i'll go in left or right direction of life...the decision is all mine..:-)
can u post it also in portuguese?
When i was young, a friend wrote me the following poem (in portuguese that i'll translate):
I know you love me -
On that we are =
But never forget that in Math - with - = +
;)
If we would all have same tastes and likings this would be a boring world
Only God Can Judge Me
الله فقط يمكنه محاكمتي
I am you and you are me, if you love i love, if you suffer i suffer
أنا أنت, و أنت أنا, إذا أحببت نفسك أحببت نفسي, إذا عانيتَ عانيتُ
I always have felt well of having friends with who i can chat hours about issues just because we think different this allow our minds to evolve
the door is there show her the way and say bye bye
Easy...tell her to eff off!
Never forget that love is the deepest form of friendship.
I and my love agreeded that we would be the best friends of each other. :)
Only God Can Judge Me
الله فقط يمكنه محاكمتي
I am you and you are me, if you love i love, if you suffer i suffer
أنا أنت, و أنت أنا, إذا أحببت نفسك أحببت نفسي, إذا عانيتَ عانيتُ
lol malrat, i think it's a good expression, regarding those "Judges" that think they know what's right or wrong :)
Only God Can Judge Me
الله فقط يمكنه محاكمتي
I am you and you are me, if you love i love, if you suffer i suffer
أنا أنت, و أنت أنا, إذا أحببت نفسك أحببت نفسي, إذا عانيتَ عانيتُ
who thinks that your standards are higher than your friend's, and looks down upon those who do not meet your own definition of morality.
you provided very little information about the "dishonesty" of your friend.
all you are saying is that you dont like what she's doing, based on YOUR standards.
so why impose your standards if you are a friend to this person?
friendship is what allows one person to be himself side by side another. wth, that's what friends are for. acceptance. tolerance. understanding. heard of those words lately?
Mom_me...you can choose your friend...
....she is not your relative.
People get divorced due to such differences.....
No good will come to you for associating with her. She will need your help often, but you will never get help from her side.
For myself, that is one of the comforts of friendship: knowing that, short of after causing objectively grievous harm, my friends are dedicated to standing by me regardless of my choices. I believe that behind many solid friendships (perhaps it is an implicit part of love?) is the hope that through our interaction both our lives are better. Even when an individual does not share the same life view as yourself--especially in a situation where you feel that "morally" they are making poor choices--you can still have a positive effect on each other. A final thought: criticizing the friend to her face will likely not cause good, but discussing her choices out of a desire for understanding should not cause harm (assuming your relationship is stable), right? Good luck.
Nobody's perfect....
You obviously think you are better than your friend, so while you are always judging her this friendship wont last. Rather find people as perfect as you are.
.platao36, this is one of my motto....
.""""only God can judge me""""
.
I agree with Malrat, a friend wont force other friend, can only advise him, if you drop a friendship just because your friend didn't followed your advice, than you were never his/her friend.
Only God Can Judge Me
الله فقط يمكنه محاكمتي
I am you and you are me, if you love i love, if you suffer i suffer
أنا أنت, و أنت أنا, إذا أحببت نفسك أحببت نفسي, إذا عانيتَ عانيتُ
I agree with mallrat
.Would you continue your friendship with a friend whose morals and principles clash with yours ?
.
.yes.
.if you have been my friend, that means i have taken you because of whoe you are, including your horns..
.
.
I wouldnt have continued friendship with dishonest person. I value honest a lot.
Poverty is not for the sake of hardship. No, it is there because nothing exists but God. Poverty unlocks the door -- what a blessed key!
- Jalaluddin al-Rumi