GF, Runaway, Marriage....
It's been quite a while I have been visiting this site and have read few threads where users seek advice for their personal issues.So i thought of opening one concerning my life.
This is the scenario -
I'm a 23 year old Indian (Born and Brought up in Qatar) who is working for a govt. Co. in Qatar as a Business Analyst. I'm in love with a girl who is 21, working, Indian (Born and Bought up in Qatar) since 3 years. No,This is not any kind of infatuation or anything. We plan to live together, but there are some issues which are giving head aches for both.
I have few question..
1. How will i propose her officially?
If i ask her parents to marry her saying i have seen her from somewhere and would like to live together, I'm scared i would have no choice if he says NO for any silly reason.
Another option is, I can say her parents that we are in love and would like to live together. In that case,I have an option to nag him until i get her. But the problem is,her parents are kind of conservative/orthodox. And their family had a tragedy of love marriage before. So for sure they will reject it. So What shall i do in this case?
2. Runaway with her and registering the marriage-
Second option we have is to go and register ourselves. But I will be guilty for the feelings of HER family (I'm quite sure that my parents won't have any kind of problems).
And we both have got siblings. I'm scared of their future which may get ruined cos of our mischievous.(Ya unfortunately, marriages back in India are like that. They dig up the history of ancestors )
But we want to live together. What shall i do now?
lolz...........I thought you will say I am a born transformer..............lolz........of course trasformers are very helpful........no objection.
Dosth... If your parents will not be against it , why not ask your parents to approach hers like how most indian marriages work out
I am born transformed (muslim).
just trying to help everyone here.
do you object?
ntasa, how did you get transformed to a good boy?.......did somebody hit you on head with a frying pan?....
Hi,
your post titles, somewhat confusing ..however for you two its much better to get married.
which is the main problem for you.
you've got the girl, now get into her family as well.
I am not an expert in your culture, but I guess very few would be comfortable with seeing stranger one fine morining who's asking hand of their daughter.
you two know each other for past 3 years. Why not she introduced you in her family as a friend/collegue etc.
as someone said, you are too young to trust your very own feelings towards anything .. it'll change with time.
Trusting your feelings towards your friend, I'd suggest you to opt for the honorable way of getting married. That is be known to her family, Earn their respect, Win their favors, Become their groom of choice .. as so goes to the girl as to promote her feelings toward you in her family.
it'll take a while before everything would be set, and all left would be a formal ceremony,
good luck.
=
Holy Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Upon Him)
said : A woman may be married for four reasons:
for her property,
her status,
her beauty
and her religion,
so try to get one who is religious.
(understanding, Book 008, Number 3457)
how about talking to your parents, saying that someone told you about one nice girl, who you would like to marry. Let your parents approach her parents to "arrange" the marriage, since they like to arrange the marriages so much...
Arien i am goin to site now :P
lol.. looks like pajju has credit facility there..
FS diet is on :(
Rms. will send tomrow morning.
all r welcome :)
Arien come around 12.30 :)
One pack to Lusail as well!!
Thanks! :P
Arien..I thought you are on diet...ok if pajju is insisting..you can pack it an deliver it to my office...lol
yes rania ji am above 60 :)
Rms/FS going to Pajjus canteen for a biriyani.. who wana join???
Pajju,What Happend to you?
You are looking very very old BaBa Ji?
lol FS e randinnum vatta :)
...............
hahaha...Rizk ka dosth..lol
Poda thendi :P lol
haha.. bajju ka dosth !!!!
23 it seems. Bloody kaakka !!!! :P
hahaha here comes the hero Pajju ka dosth..lol
CAUGHT U ...
lol u guys r really nuts :)
rms he is on fone saying its not him.. imagine!!!!!
I understood that by reading the third comment itself!!!
rms....2 hours old Gafoorka dost.. if am not wrong, will have parents, one wife , and two kids to talk to before his runs away LOL
hmm Yet to learn the difference between infatuation and love. :)) you will see him storming in now!! lol
Running away is not manly enough. Find some other solution. First of all talk to her family. I can understand your situation well. :)
Alien: I'm not that a loser to runaway!! :X
FS: stop revealing my personal infos !! :X :X
Arien I just forgot that he is only 21 and not 23..lol
FS why rms?? May we know? :P does he have any plans of a Runaway?
Parents remains parents LP, and We do care for the parents, even when we are grown up. :)
Not necessarily it should apply to Qatar as it may sound similar but then there is a diifference between 'actual' and 'similar'....:)
Then the same should apply to Qatar, but it doesn't. So, obviously it has nothing to do with the way marriages are bonded. Maybe it's a racial issue?
LP...longer than anywhere else ...:)
And this also proves that it 'good' to have the whole family involved in getting married; http://www.qatarliving.com/node/1059114
Longer than in Qatar? Marrying in Qatar is a 'familiy' issue, however, the divorce rate is steeply icreasing. Haha.
Longer than where, happy?
LP...thats why in India marriages last longer because we allow a bit of intrusion of all concerned in marriage in the way that we care for all concerned and that gives the marriage a strong bonding.
I really would like to share a bet of an advice, you have known that girl for the past three years and you are 23 years old she is 21 years old, before thinking of a run with her because of the refusal you might get from her family, do one more thing give it some time you are both still young you have the whole life in front of you both always double check your feelings and give her the chance to do the same, I do understand that you are totally in love with her and I hope she is too, and believe it or not when the time comes to the right moment you both will know what to do, no one these days gets married to someone who doesn't want to, those old days have left my friend, now you can take this advice from me and try to alter it with your experience and believe it or not what you are feeling right now might not be the same feeling in ten years later. All what have I said might not be right might not be wrong but it comes out of some how an experience............
That's your problem. FS. When I found the woman I wanted to marry, I informed her parents that we will marry. I could not care less about what they would have had to say. It's my life, not theirs.
LP for your info...most likely..we Indians don’t marry without both parent's blessings...:)
The parents? Do you want to marry the parents or the girl?
Try to talk to her parents either yourself or through your parents (as suggested). If they dont agree then if you two still want to live together do whatever is best which may also include running away...but that should be the last option.
And since you are born and brought up in Qatar and I presume you have been staying here all your 23 years, dont get carried away by the myth that for siblings it can be a problem if you run away...marriages in India are no more like that, not for even that many years as you put your age to be.
where is rMs??
nice ID :P
Running away- Not an option.
Talk to them, maybe do it totally traditional Indian style and send over some of your elders to talk about it with her parents.
Well I don't think you should be rash and run away together without at least trying to talk to her parents first. If they do say no, then the two of you need to decide what you're comfortable with.