ADVICE THIS QUERY HEART!
I have an indian boyfriend his a punjabi, were together for 1 yr. now we loved each other so much, but the problem is he cant marry me bcz of thier cultures and his family. he cannot disobey his parents, to make it short he will choose his family over me. im breaking up with him even if its killing me to do that, bcz I dont want to prolong the pain that im going through everytime I think bout that day will come that his parents will ask him to marry and settle down with thier choice. but he doesnt want to break up with me, he said that why we need to think of tommorow when we can have a beautiful time today as much as we can. but its really hurting me when I think about the future, pls advice me what should I do?
YOU ARE SO SIMPLE....HE IS SIMPLY FOOLING YOU.
COME OUT OF IT AND...GO FOR A CHANGE...YOU YOU AND YOU DO NOT GET VICTIMISED BY YOUR EMOTIONS
Time to move on...all the best
and he also said that if he disobey his parents they will remove thier name on him and will never accept him. maybe im so innocent thats why im easily fooled.
Take my advise leave this bastard at once. His is riding on ur innocence.
VIKAS KAUSHIK
Remember : Once anyone can fool you, Dont let 2nd time be there AND STOP seeking advices..
You are a grown person and behave like one. Therefore, Do not open up your feelings 2 ANYONE.
thanks for clearing my mind, i should step up and do the right thing.
Nothing much to say, Except.
The guy is not commited, riding the two boat story.
Take your life serious and get away from this Mess asap.
If you are sensible, he has already answered your query of getting married...NO CHANCE..Guarantee
Take care and be sensible.
Now on, you choose rather someone chooses and drops you
mekag, i fully agree with shreeya. though traditions in india is still in place, its up2 d individual n d family to decide between tradional culture n life. if this guy really wants u he can easily convince his parents.
he z only fooling u in d name of tradition,culture etc.. n njoin free s..
its not 2 late, just come out of his clutches, u will b alright by time
Get over it, gal....He is simply fooling you, cheating you. He can easily convince his parents but he don't want to do it. He doesn't want to marry you, thats it. And he doesn't want to think of tomorrow because today he is getting what he wants..a free s**....wake up....
Everything's gonna be alright!!!
Its just that in Indian culture when you get married, its not just two person getting married but the union of two families as well. There is nothing wrong in it though. Though I am not Indian, our cultures are similar. So I took liberty to comment. Hope I did not offend Indians here.
Indian parents are not monsters. Yes they may be a bit traditional in their outlook, but if they feel that their child's happiness depends on him/her marrying a certain person,they usually give in, albeit after tough "negotiations".
If your Punjabi guy loves you enough, he will be able to overcome the hurdles. If not .......well its your call to make.
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"We live life forward, but understand it backward"
No it is not a sin and specially Punjabi parents are easy to convince anyway.. Your bf was not trying hard enough or he was not trying at all..
**** Aal Izz Well****
can i ask all indians here, is it really a big sin in ur culture or in ur family to disobey them?
thanks for all the advices, in my side there was no problem im free to choose whom im going to marry, and yes his the man i would love to spend my whole life with but unfortunately this is our situation.
Sandman already has 69 in his ID...going by his sales pitch its also on his mind...lol
Pajju I am from haryana, I am not Punjabi.. Grrrrr
**** Aal Izz Well****
split up.... you are tied up in a relationship in which you are wasting your time, love and effort. there is someone out there that whom might be willing to stay with you for the rest of his life without hassles. Only you can't see the right man because you are with him.
just imagine the whole year you spent with him knowing that it will not last, you never know also maybe his family already arranged someone for him. if you need to decide, do it now.
You are just giving him the pleasure and convinience. He is there now, what will happen tomorrow? You will be left alone and in pain. Time to think about yourself.
Enjoy life as you should and not for someone else's favor only.
he doesn't love you enough to choose you over his parents .. what do you think does that tell you..
Nice sales pitch there Sandman...you should be expecting pm's by the dozens ;)
Good Fortune always comes knocking at your door...when you are sh*tting in the toilet!! :)
_[]~«ŠѪΘҜΞ»~[]_
Mekag, I would be more than happy to court you and take this spineless excuse of a man off your mind. Consider the time you wasted on him a lesson learned, some boys never mature, they just grow older. It is clear he has known this all along and has never cared enough about you to spare you this pain. Move on and put this behind you, there are plenty of good men out there who would treat you with the respect you deserve, I am one of them. Good luck, dont look back!!
WK is a White Kangaroo pay not attention to it. MeKag your problem seems to be the kind that is easily solved if a person like u would take a decision from the head rather than the heart.
Points to consider when taking such decision:
1. Is he the kind of man you want to spend the rest of your life with
2. Is this going to pose a problem for both families?
3. If yes, are you both willing to work on it till the very end.
These are just a few thing to think about. Bottom line from what you wrote is he's not willing to go the extra mile for you..so why worry...plenty of fish in the aquarium :p
Good Fortune always comes knocking at your door...when you are sh*tting in the toilet!! :)
_[]~«ŠѪΘҜΞ»~[]_
WK= whyteknight, another QLer. Right Pajju?
Pajju..shhhhh! lol
what is WK?
its really a hard decision, but ur right its really up to him to show if his Man enough to fight for me.
and i am sure ur BF is WK .. he is the one n only punjabi here :P
if u really loves u..he can convince his parents..boys can do..
ok i am ready to marrie u .. jst fgt abt him :)
Ah girls they never learn will they....
And YOU need to wake up too, girl...
Not unless both of you decide to elope or commit a ROMEO/JULIET ending.
I'm not kidding, I've been there sweetie...very long time ago. My childhood sweetheart's MOM hated my mother for reasons unknown to us and when SHE found out about me, she didn't minced words about me and my MOM telling everyone that she would take anyone as a daughter-in-law EXCEPT ME. I answered back and told her in person that even if I'm in love with her son and she would become my mother-in-law, I'll forget the whole idea and marry someone else.
My point is, your BF should be MAN ENOUGH to defend you and you to him. But since he's Indian and they follow this marriage custom/tradition, I just wish you both GOOD LUCK!!!
Would you please press your caps lock off please.... thank you.
Now, regarding the problem....
If the boy clearly prefers his family over you then this relationship is better over now than later. It may complicate things later resulting in ugly breakup. It is impossible to enjoy a relationship today if you are certain that there is no future for it. Just my opinion though.
Trust me you will get over it..it is just about time…
He is making hay while the sun shines..lol better find someone else and be happy rest of your life..