Joke Time muna...
Street Vendor : "bili na kayo ng relo! Relo kayo diyan !!
gold watch ito! pag namuti, white gold!
pag huminto stopwatch!"
gf : (umiiyak)hu hu ! Hu ! Hu ! bakit natin ginawa ito? hindi
na ako virgin at dalawang beses pa natin ginawa!
bf : ano? isa lang ah?!
gf : bakit, hindi na ba natin uulitin mamaya?!
************ ******
use violet in a sentence...
oh no! i lost my ballpen .. pero ok lang.. i'll
vi-olet." hehehe
************ ******
lapit na christmas, kung wala kang gift, okay lang...
kakantahan pa kita! boom barat barat! boom barat barat!
baarraaarrat. . ! baaarraaarrat. ...boom.. !boom. .! boom!!
************ *****
couple talking:
wife : hon, paki fix naman ilaw sa labas.
husband : hello!? electrician ba ako?
wife : eh di pkigawa na lang hagdan natin.
husband : hello!? karpintero ba ako?
umalis si husband, pagbalik gawa na lahat ng sira sa
bahay. tinanong niya wife kung sino gumawa ng trabaho.
wife : kasi kanina a man saw me crying, sabi ko dami
sira dito sa bahay. so he offered to help in
exhange of either sex or bake ako ng cake.
husband : so pinag-bake mo siya ng cake?
wife : hello?! baker ba ako?!
************ *********
ANG MARRIED LIFE....
May isang intsik na sa sobrang hilig sa karaoke ay
inabot ng 5 am. Dahil sa takot mabugbog ni misis, nag-text ng:
"HUWAG KA BAYAD RANSOM. NAKATAKAS AKO. UWI NA KO!"
************ *********
Husband: "Parati na lang tayo away! Maghiwalay na lang
tayo!"
Wife: "Sige, maghati tayo ng mga anak!" Husband: "Akin ang mga guwapo at maganda!"
Wife: "Sus! Pinili pa yung hindi kanya!"
************ ********
Sa harap ng nursery window sa hospital
Friend: Pare, pag laki ng anak mo, am sure magaling
mag-drive
Dad: Bakit, pare, malaki ba ang kamay?
Friend: Hindi. Kasi kamukha siya ng driver ninyo!
************ *******
Husband came home from church, suddenly lifted his wife
and carried her.
Wife: Why? Did the Pastor tell you to be romantic like this?
Husband: No! He told me to carry my cross!
************ ********* **
Friend: "Wow, pare, ganda ng sapatos mo, ah!"
Husband: "Oo. Surprise gift ng kumare mo!"
Friend: "Surprise? Ano occassion?"
Husband: "Wala. Nakita ko na lang sa ilalim ng kama
namin kagabi!"
************ ********* *
Health Advisory: "Beer contains female hormones, and can
turn men into women.
After 8 pints.... men become talkative, unreasonable,irritable, cry for nothing, and urinate while sitting!"
******* ********* *****
WIFE: I'm warning you! Parating na husband ko in 1 hour!
HANDSOME VISITOR: Wala naman akong ginawang masama ah?
WIFE: kaya nga! kung may balak ka, GAWIN MO NA!!!
************ ********
WIFE: Himala! aga mong umuwi ngayon.
HUSBAND: Sunod ko lang utos ng boss ko. Sabi nya "GO TO
HELL", kaya ito, uwi agad ako..
************ ********
Wife: Lab, may taning na ang buhay ko. Huling gabi ko na
'to, let's make love.
Husband: Heh! tumigil ka nga. Maaga pa akong gigising
bukas, buti ikaw, hindi na.
************ ********* **
Population policies of countries:
China : Stop at 1 child.
Singapore : Stop at 2 children
Phil: STOP AT 4 A.M.!
************ ********* **
RUSSIAN: we're 1st in space
USA : we're 1st in the moon
ERAP: we'll be the 1st in the sun
USA: you can't go there, you'll burn
ERAP: we're not stupid, we'll go there at NIGHT!
*********** ********* **
Ano kadalasan ang sinasabi kapag nautot?
American: Excuse me.
British: Pardon me.
Pinoy: NOT ME!
