Because he is one sick puppie, and we need him to see that he needs help
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I'm a former union organizer- I'm not a blue blood so i'm not a member of the Colorado Golf Club- so I threw my clothes in my friend Franks locker yesterday, after playing 18 yesterday I was dying for a beer so I showered and dressed real fast went into the club and ordered two tall brews before my friends got in there. I like to talk to my food and beer and I started telling my beer how lovely she looked today, all bubbly and delicious..I told her how much I missed her and how much I wanted to be with her, then I drank it all at once...

Unkown to me a club employee was standing right behind me listening to the whole thing- She heard it all. How embarassing..