I think this will offend most brits here..........

Swine Flu

!. When we had bird flu they killed off millions of birds

Now we have swine flu, they'll probably kill off millions of swine.

Can't wait for the next bout of brit-flu.

3. Bored on your way to work on the car.

Just drive over a brit.

Police in London have found a bomb outside emgee's house. They've told the
public not to panic as they've managed to push it inside.

Two scottish heroin addicts have injected themselves with pudding by
mistake - both are in intensive care... one has a spotted dick and the other one has a Black Bun.

...

I'm stopping here.