5 things to maintain a lasting friendship

As young adults we keep perceiving our friends according to our past experiences as kids or teenagers. We misunderstand, get in conflict and we forgive ourselves or redeem our mistakes by coming up with excuses or justifications as to why the friendship has ended.

Here are some tips that I have learned from my own personal friendships.  Some have lasted 5 to 12 years and these are the reasons I believe why.

1 - Appreciate

Many of our friends try to address our issues and confront us. I used to prefer to avoid addressing issues. I would also feel bullied when issues were confronted by friends. The reality is my friends were trying to push me to overcome certain situations or sensitivities.

If you refuse to change a certain trait, that  is fine, but I would omit  thinking that you're bullied. Make sure you appreciate the given feedback and work on it or just move on. True friends would still stand by you.

Also, appreciate the small things; whether it’s invites to dinner plans, field trips (even if you don’t like visiting the places), or invites to special moments.  People chose to include you and wanted your company, so that is something nice to appreciate.

2 - Your problems are not shared

If you commit a mistake by doing or saying the wrong thing, then just apologize immediately. “I'm sorry” is a very powerful and humble thing to say. True friends would get over it in a day or two. If he/she doesn't, then it is his/her problem not yours as well.

3 - Give feedback

Talk about what was cool and not so cool. Your friends are not mind readers and they're only humans.  So forget and repeat the unpleasant things that you prefer not discussing or doing.

4 - Whatever you do, do not assume!

I would stress this the most. It is one of my worst traits that I try to change. Do not assume something and share that assumption. Too often, it would hurt your friends. Instead, ask questions! Do not let your imagination run wild because you are no longer stranger from that classroom, office, or street.

5 - Mutual Privacy

You should respect your friends’ privacy. No matter how close you are. Even if it reaches that level where people think that the two of you are as thick as thieves, a level of privacy should always mutually respected.

I'm so thankful to all for all of my friends and you should be of all of yours!