Is it legal for housemaid's husband to stay overnight in our home?
My housemaid's husband has been staying overnight more and more frequently. told him we are unhappy with this but he doesn't seem to care. When we hired her, the agreement was that she could stay out on her night off and they would stay together at his brother's house. This is no longer happening and they just stay here. Asked him why and he says it's not comfortable there. He seems to feel he is entitled to stay in my home. I wouldn't mind of it were just once night a week but it's now two. His answer to this is that he comes in the middle of the night the first night so it's really not two nights. I feel like he is not respecting our boundaries. Any thoughts???
Seem that husband is an attitude person, it's better to him to don't come, if he does they might come over to you, so don't allow him, and ask him once a week he can meet his lovely wife but no late night meetings or stay over!
Kick him out! These people have no right to live a normal life as wife and husband together. They are in Qatar!!!!!! Qatar is known for destroying families! Do your part now.
He may be her legally wedded hubby, but still you dont run a hotel. Tell him he is not welcome here, if she does not like it, she can go..You do not have to accept a situation which you are not comfortable with, there is nothing cruel about it...And keep all your stuff locked up, he may already have cut a key..If I were you, absolutely no way I would accept him being rude to me in my house, and not accepting my boundaries..
You do not have to talk to him at all: just tell her she cannot have her visitors in your house, on her off days , she is free to go anywhere she wants with anybody..If he turns up and shouts at you, tell him get out , or you will be calling the police.
You made a mistake early on by not predicting this. Get another maid, no notice and swiftly. You will regret tolerating this.
Anybody know someone who is fluent in Sinhala and English? Guess I'll post a classified. My inclination is to help them as much as possible to have a happy life but I am now feeling worse about him staying here than I was before I addressed the issue with him. I would have likely agreed to one night a week after he told me they can't stay at the brothers anymore if I felt he respected this rule but he seemed to be arguing with me more than asking if there was a compromise we could make. Although there is a language barrier, his body language was very clear, I felt like he was trying to intimidate me(perhaps he was just being defensive but it made me uncomfortable) now, yes, I really do need a competent translator.
Anybody know someone who is fluent in Sinhala and English? Guess I'll post a classified. My inclination is to help them as much as possible to have a happy life but I am now feeling worse about him staying here than I was before I addressed the issue with him. I would have likely agreed to one night a week after he told me they can't stay at the brothers anymore if I felt he respected this rule but he seemed to be arguing with me more than asking if there was a compromise we could make. Although there is a language barrier, his body language was very clear, I felt like he was trying to intimidate me(perhaps he was just being defensive but it made me uncomfortable) now, yes, I really do need a competent translator.
Get someone else to do the translating (unrelated to the couple) and get your husband to state once in no uncertain terms that the husband is not to return. Unfortunately, I suspect you are perceived as a powerless woman (not uncommon in many cultures) and your DH should tell him to leave, now. I think that may stop the sleepovers - I'd still cancel the sponsorship
I have faced and dealt with the same attitude. Being single and holding the pursestrings I've learned to wield that weapon ruthlessly - you get one chance then you are gone - I felt badly the first time but no more.
I won't allow a sob story or arrogance to take advantage of me
You need to be very firm. Next time you see him tell him he is not welcome in your house, and if you ever find him even in your compound or building, you will call the police. If he tries to talk over you, call the police and tell them an intruder is in your house. That's what they are there for. If he wants to pick up his wife he can wait in the car outside and ring her.
Don't be wishy-washy. You are the boss. You say what goes. Show them that you mean business.
If the housemaid works as you deserve and fulfill your requirement, than you can be generous with them. if you have no problem in your home, i mean if you have separate room for housemaid you can give them chance. i know it's your right to decide what you want, but all of us come here to live a peaceful life, even though they are low income people. just forgive them, but keep limit.
Allah will help you!!
Yeah, MC is probably right. They are not going to be happy about the stopping of the stay overs. Might have to sack her without warning or all your sparkly rings & things might go walk-about. Who knows, maybe he has already got a key cut. Clearly they are taking advantage of you. Gotta be careful now. Plenty of maids out there needing work at the moment - who don't have 'husbands'.
he is her husband I have their marriage certificate which has been attested to and translated into Arabic. He is working full time for Karwa so not run away. But sitting them both down is an issue. neither speaks very good English and the husband interrupts and talks over top of me when I try to explain my rules. I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt that it was just a language barrier issue but now, I'm sure he's just being rude and disrespectful. The brother (who's english is excellent) was supposed to be available to translate but he is very busy. Yes. I know I do need to be firm. She was beside herself with tears when I tried to talk to him again yesterday so. I guess, I'm just want to double check that I'm not being cruel or unfair.
sounds strange. but, if you are not permitting, whatever the reason may be, he is not allowed to come to your home.
If you are sponsoring the housemaid legally, you have options.
The husband is not to return to the house.
When her contract expires, cancel her visa and send her home. Do not let on you will be taking this course of action. BOTH of them are taking advantage of you.
BTW how do you know he is indeed her husband? Have you seen an attested marriage certificate and national ID? You could face serious problems if they are not married and carrying on under YOUR roof.
If you are NOT sponsoring her - you've got even bigger problems. Get rid of the pair of them ASAP. The fines for illegally employing a maid without providing sponsorship are very high.
well its your call. your safety as a whole is compromised now.
What are you thinking? Get them both together, sit them down and set everything straight so everyone is on the same page.
1. No more staying over for him.
2. Your house, your rules.
3. If they don't like your rules, tell them both to leave. If they don't leave, call the police.
Of course they don't know the boundaries if you say 'Oh, well, maybe 1 or 2 nights, but not too many'. It is either yes or no! As mentioned, if he is in trouble, you will get into trouble for harboring him - are you sure he is her 'husband' and not just a boyfriend?
Hello friend
You should be serious from now only. the next thing you will hear he settled in your house.. If he is ran away from his sponsor then you will be in trouble