Working mothers are happier

Miss Mimi
By Miss Mimi

http://www.thenational.ae/lifestyle/well-being/working-mothers-are-happi...

Just when we thought the debate around motherhood and work had given us enough mixed messages, there's an update. According to a recent Gallup poll carried out in the US on 60,000 women, mothers who stay at home to look after young children are more likely to experience anger, sadness and depression than those who go out to work. Working mothers, meanwhile, are considered emotionally as well off as working women without children.
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Weren't we just recovering from the research that said mothers who choose to return to work when their children are very young are putting their offspring's well-being at risk? This new information, though, indicates that it is the parent who suffers; not from guilt at having left their children, but from lack of self-fulfillment and frustration at having to stay at home with them. Did I mention that it's confusing? And why should it be that choosing to stay at home to raise a family seems to create self-esteem issues for mothers?

By Miss Mimi• 20 Jun 2012 07:56
Miss Mimi

What in the world does this article have to do with the government Flor?

By Molten Metal• 20 Jun 2012 00:06
Molten Metal

Correct,

''happier at work''

same as someone mentioned in the very first comment at top.

By anonymous• 19 Jun 2012 22:29
anonymous

It's individual choice. Some wants to be a full time mom, others find it boring at home. I don't have a problem taking care of the kids, I'll be happy to do it but I'll be happier if I'm working and take care of the kids when I'm home.

By flor1212• 19 Jun 2012 15:39
flor1212

they will try their best to IMPOSED their belief to others including "inciting" a revolution of sort. Go against a legitimate government because they feel they are the only right people on earth and other government are s....!

By Prism• 19 Jun 2012 14:29
Prism

MM...I cant leave it at that cos if I dont chip in with a different perspective it would pass as being acceptable (not by me specifically but generally) or so to say I become accomplice in crime...:) So I have to, to my discomfort, keep on repeating my POV which is making it boring!!!

By FathimaH• 19 Jun 2012 12:56
FathimaH

and even the individual can change her mind if given the luxury of choice. But what of those women who have no choice? Women who are single mothers and who receive zero support from their former partners? What are they supposed to do to feed,clothe and educate their children? Obviously they have to work!

Personally I'm happier staying at home, and I thank God for giving me the privilege of doing so. I know my own elder sister though doesn't have a choice in the matter. As a single mom she has to fend for herself and her son.

And let me add she is a very hardworking woman. I find it very offending and hurtful that anyone would suggest she goes to office to have a good time!

By Miss Mimi• 19 Jun 2012 12:54
Miss Mimi

Prism, surely you know the difference between responding to someone's comment and lecturing? Where did I say that those things must apply to every single woman?

And again, if you are bored with the topic, why read it?

By Prism• 19 Jun 2012 12:52
Prism

MM if this is not lecturing what it is:

-It's not just about money. It's about a feeling of self worth and achievement.

-There's also a social element to going to work. You can talk to people about things outside of children and baby stuff.

-It gives you a sense of identity outside of just being a mother.

What if a stay at home doesn’t feel deprived of any of those. Just cos you feel it that way doesn’t mean everyone has to feel it that way.

And a corollary to your suggestion: Since many feel this topic and your thinking on this is written so many times on QL that by now everyone knows by heart what points you are going to highlight, guess you may give rest to this issue…we all are bored to death reading the same points again and again and again from you…:(

By anonymous• 19 Jun 2012 12:40
anonymous

Prism if u dont like it just go to U.A.E

By Miss Mimi• 19 Jun 2012 12:39
Miss Mimi

I just post the articles Prism, I don't lecture anyone. If you don't like it, here's a suggestion, Don't Read it!

By Prism• 19 Jun 2012 12:36
Prism

That is something like I heard in some country a local telling me...what happens in your bedroom is also my business. I mean, why some of us feel the urge to shove our thinking etc etc down someone else’s throat while they themselves aren’t willing to accept anything from other side on the premise that what they do is how it has to be as they and their actions are infallible...why do we feel the urge to go lecturing everyone how to lead there life and in the process create disharmony and ill will. Cant we sometimes just let people lead there life as they like.

And though I don’t notice much of the bias against working women at least on QL, the bias towards stay at home women is quite visible and acknowledged not only by me.

Can we just give rest to this issue for a while, say a year or so...it is getting boring to say the least.

By Miss Mimi• 19 Jun 2012 12:28
Miss Mimi

True Fubar.

By fubar• 19 Jun 2012 12:25
fubar

Mimi, the neanderthals you refer to on this site probably think "that Mimi woman has far too much to say about everything, so there's no way I'm letting my wife out of her house-prison to get an education and a life, because then she'll start getting opinions".

By Miss Mimi• 19 Jun 2012 12:24
Miss Mimi

It's not just about money. It's about a feeling of self worth and achievement.

There's also a social element to going to work. You can talk to people about things outside of children and baby stuff.

It gives you a sense of identity outside of just being a mother.

By Molten Metal• 19 Jun 2012 12:21
Molten Metal

Angel : Your truth is 'simply' bitter ..... We need more simple & straight forwardness loving folks like you here on QL.

jj : If a mom who sells her parenthood [ love & care for her kids ] should not she rely on the money of her reliable husband too ?

Where has the mutual trust / rely gone ?

By Miss Mimi• 19 Jun 2012 12:18
Miss Mimi

I'm quite happy to send my little one to nursery FS. What I dislike is the bias against working women in this region, and specifically on this site, so I post articles like these so that perhaps the Neanderthals on this site might let their wives out of the house once and awhile.

By anonymous• 19 Jun 2012 12:01
anonymous

what has a profile or being simple to do with the forum

By jjj75• 19 Jun 2012 11:54
Rating: 3/5
jjj75

If you look at Angel's personal profile, you will discover he describes himself as simple - that about sums up his comments.

Glad you have so much awareness of yourself and deficiencies

By Molten Metal• 19 Jun 2012 11:41
Molten Metal

makeup ? for what ? have they lost / lack in something ?

By anonymous• 19 Jun 2012 11:36
anonymous

u missed one important point "makeup"

By angelopeter• 19 Jun 2012 11:31
angelopeter

I think most working mum's don't really WORK at office. They spend their 8 hours on FB / google / Yahoo / Qatar living / talking to friends / reading and sending chain e-mails / using the rest room 10 times a day and eating snacks..............

By angelopeter• 19 Jun 2012 11:16
angelopeter

I fully agree with Molten :-)

By britexpat• 19 Jun 2012 11:11
britexpat

Finally we agree. The choice is with the individual :O)

Next ...

By Formatted Soul• 19 Jun 2012 11:09
Formatted Soul

yes exactly jjj75...that’s what I was trying to say...:)

We cannot come to a conclusion from these studies/survey..

Fubar...very true!!

By jjj75• 19 Jun 2012 11:08
jjj75

MM - I meant would not have to rely on their husband/partner for money, gives them some independence which is a good example to set, particularly for their daughters.

Unsure what you mean?

By fubar• 19 Jun 2012 11:06
Rating: 2/5
fubar

I think when my mother (and her mother) left the workforce to raise kids, it was a different scenario.

Their days weren't spent at home watching infomercials and watching the clock waiting for their husband to return. Their mother lived a few streets away, their sister would pop over for tea, they would spend some time at the neighbor's house...

Times have changed, and society has changed with it. In the country I am from, expecting your partner to fill in her days without working would be tough, and most women want to get more out of life. But as others have said, the only person who should be making this choice is the mother herself.

By Molten Metal• 19 Jun 2012 11:05
Molten Metal

''....you don't have to rely on someone else for money.''

If all child care givers were thinking like you.....moms will have to take care of their own kids....don't they - care givers - rely on working mom's money ?

By Prism• 19 Jun 2012 11:05
Prism

MM... my bad...I read just the first few para's ...anyways, as suggested by jjj75 since they actually never take care of kids as a stay home mom is perceived to be, their opinion really does not matter same as whether they stay at home or not, it doesnt matter to their kids.

By jjj75• 19 Jun 2012 11:04
jjj75

FS - and your Uncle would be right. But as many pointed out, each to his own, neither side is wrong

By Formatted Soul• 19 Jun 2012 11:02
Formatted Soul

MM .. I have a cousin in US who is a doctor...both her parents are also doctors... she got 3 children... she never worked after the birth of her first child...her mom (my aunt is retired and living close to her)..they are more than willing to take care of her kids..but she don’t want to work and she is a very happy mom...

But my uncle still says that she wasted all those money he spent on her medical school...lol

By jjj75• 19 Jun 2012 11:00
jjj75

What you also have to consider, that it is mostly very detrimental for a woman's career for her to be away from her chosen profession for years at a time. I see it all the time in recruitment, who are you going to want to hire, someone who has consistently worked and kept up to date or someone who, although might possess some experience (years back) and the right qualifications but has been out of the job market for a long time and therefore not kept up to date with their chosen profession?

By flor1212• 19 Jun 2012 10:55
Rating: 2/5
flor1212

of her desire to work rather than stay at home. Her husband is still studying I think so taking care of the baby and the household expenses is a big factor really.

But glad to know you can still monitor your child in the nursery thru inetrnet camera. Wonder of modern technology.

Wishing the best for your child.

By britexpat• 19 Jun 2012 10:53
britexpat

Well spotted :O)

By anonymous• 19 Jun 2012 10:52
anonymous

My office started calling me back...so I started working - very nice mom bravo

By Formatted Soul• 19 Jun 2012 10:49
Rating: 3/5
Formatted Soul

you cant generalize ...it is purely individual choice...

I had quit my job when I was 7 months pregnant...and decided not to work till my child goes to preschool....I was very happy to take care of him...but as my mom was alone back home and was not working she came here and she was happy taking care of him...I didn’t think of working bcos I knew that my mom cant stay here for more than 6 months... but she got extension for another 5 months... My office started calling me back...so I started working when he completed one year...but my mom was with him till he was 18 months...

I am not saying what I did was correct or what others are doing is wrong…Its individual choice and depends on circumstances…

MM..you been posting many related topics off late...are you by any chance trying to justify your decision of sending your lil one to the nursery..:)?

By jjj75• 19 Jun 2012 10:44
jjj75

MM - as long as the family have good childcare in place, I don't see that as a sacrifice. What about the fact that she is earning for the family and is being a good role model for her daughter - you don't have to rely on someone else for money

By Miss Mimi• 19 Jun 2012 10:43
Miss Mimi

How is a working mother sacrificing her kids upbringing? Surely any decent parent would find suitable care for their child? They're hardly leaving them lying in a crib all day.

By Miss Mimi• 19 Jun 2012 10:41
Rating: 2/5
Miss Mimi

Pretty sure Jumana Al Darwish and Amal Al Redha, both mothers who stayed home for awhile and decided to go back to work, are Emirati.

Try reading page 2 Prism.

By Prism• 19 Jun 2012 10:40
Prism

jj75...agree...so basically there (UAE women) opinion would not make a difference. So am I good in suggesting to reword the title (not literally... I guess it is understood what I mean)...:)

By Molten Metal• 19 Jun 2012 10:36
Molten Metal

If working mother is paid for her work then her salary should be equivalent to her love for her kids, I mean it should be worth enough to sacrifice your own kid's upbringing.

By jjj75• 19 Jun 2012 10:35
jjj75

Prism - even if local women don't work, alot still don't look after their children - that is what maids are for

By Prism• 19 Jun 2012 10:34
Prism

Yep the article goes to interview some women in UAE but who are these women. The names mentioned do not suggest they are locals. Also out of two examples one seem to be happy being a stay home mom and is concerned about how the society looks at them...so then it boils down to 50/50 as perception of the society (as can be seen from this post also) and perception of an individual, when talking in crude statistical sense. But again that is not the perception of the local UAE citizens and so the rewording of the title seems OK...:)

By Miss Mimi• 19 Jun 2012 10:23
Miss Mimi

Who's taking care of their parents in their 30's? :S My parents & in-laws are not only healthy and productive, but are still working. I don't think they want to be "taken care of" right now. Maybe when they're in their 80's...but that's 20/30 years from now.

By anonymous• 19 Jun 2012 10:20
anonymous

Working women ......they put their child in kinder garden .....in their age of 1-3 yrs....that time child must be with mother.......then the relationship.....of mother & child will be ..much better that working women child.....when the child reaches.....his 30's time to take care of their parents.......is that right..?

By Miss Mimi• 19 Jun 2012 10:19
Miss Mimi

Actually the article goes on to interview women in the UAE, and they agree that they are happier working than staying at home.

By Prism• 19 Jun 2012 10:18
Prism

Title should read " Working mothers in US are happier" cos the societal setpup and wants/desires of the people in each society is different. And so as brit said "one size doesnt fit all".

By Miss Mimi• 19 Jun 2012 10:15
Miss Mimi

It's a very safe nursery Flor. They were just running fire drills last week and I can monitor him on CCTV. It's great. :)

By flor1212• 19 Jun 2012 10:11
flor1212

is in safe location! There are some nursery that has camera wherein you can also monitor your child while you are in the office.

By Miss Mimi• 19 Jun 2012 10:07
Miss Mimi

My son goes to a nursery. And taking care of him isn't hard work. That's why its so frustrating being home all day.

By jjj75• 19 Jun 2012 10:06
jjj75

Yawn, here we go again. Just another post which is bound to end up with misogynistic comments from some people.

By MarcoNandoz-01• 19 Jun 2012 10:04
MarcoNandoz-01

Whatever you choose is whats best for you, but don't diss on the other side!

And for the working moms who feel better working than taking care of your kids, especially when the child ages are very young, who take care of the kids? Are you going to complain about its hard work, hire nannies, babysitters, or make your mothers or grandmothers do the babysitting, etc?

By Miss Mimi• 19 Jun 2012 10:03
Miss Mimi

Obviously you can compare, or why else would Gallup do the poll? Many stay at home mothers suffer from anger, depression and stress, while less working mothers do. That working mothers are in general happier than non-working mothers. So while the odd SAHM may be happy, most aren't.

By damselindistress• 19 Jun 2012 10:01
damselindistress

It depends really on what your heart desires... I know people who are happy being stay at home mom and people who are happy being a working mom- You cannot compare which one is a better mom as all these mothers have one thing in mind- Be the best mother for their child!

By Molten Metal• 19 Jun 2012 09:37
Rating: 4/5
Molten Metal

At office they take care of the 'working fathers' at home they take care of kids.

By Miss Mimi• 19 Jun 2012 09:36
Rating: 3/5
Miss Mimi

Here's some of the breakdown of the stats Flor:

Gallup looked first at categories including anger, worry, stress, depression, smiling and laughter. It found that non-working women with a child under 18 at home experienced more worry, sadness, stress and anger than moms who are employed full-time or part-time.

One of the most noticeable differences revolved around questions about depression. Gallup asked the women polled if they’d ever been diagnosed with depression and found that SAHMs were more likely to say yes than working moms. Of SAHMs, 28% reported receiving a diagnosis of depression at some point compared with 17% each for employed moms and employed childless women. “Moms who are employed, full-time or part-time, look more like the employed women group than SAHMs,” says Mendes.

So does the data suggest that employment is the key to happiness? Well, it’s true that employed moms experience fewer negative emotions than SAHMs, according to Gallup’s survey. “It’s certainly possible that it’s because they are working,” says Mendes.

Gallup also compared different income groups, splitting women into high-income, middle-income and low-income categories to explore whether finances played a role in mothers’ reported well-being. Across all three income groups, SAHMs did worse on measures of sadness, anger and depression than employed moms.

When Gallup looked at other measures of well-being — such as happiness, enjoyment, learning something interesting and stress — there were no significant differences between working moms and SAHMs in the middle- and high-income groups. But differences remained in the lower income groups. “In general, we know that a very high percentage of Americans report happiness,” says Mendes. “So it might be endemic.”

Says Mendes: “This suggests there might be something about working that is creating more positive emotions for employed moms, or there might be something about staying at home that’s creating more negative emotions,” says Mendes.

Read more: http://healthland.time.com/2012/06/01/stay-at-home-moms-report-more-sadness-anger-and-depression-than-working-moms/#ixzz1yDcbQ5DP

By flor1212• 19 Jun 2012 09:30
flor1212

didn't notice it.

By flor1212• 19 Jun 2012 09:29
flor1212

where is the stat breakdown? You just believe it as written?

By Miss Mimi• 19 Jun 2012 09:29
Miss Mimi

My name isn't Gallup sajmarhab, so I couldn't tell you how stay at home father's feel.

Flor, did you notice the :p, I was being sarcastic.

By anonymous• 19 Jun 2012 09:29
anonymous

the topic is on mothers where did father come from

By sajmarhab• 19 Jun 2012 09:26
sajmarhab

what about stay at home husbands (?)... how they feel, did they enjoy staying home, looking after child.

By flor1212• 19 Jun 2012 09:26
flor1212

about fathers?

By flor1212• 19 Jun 2012 09:25
Rating: 4/5
flor1212

if the mother is stressed at work, she could also bring that stress at home. This maybe true for happy working environment but the way the competition and stress on job nowadays, I would likely to believe that some are bringing their work frustration at home!

Well either way, to each her own!

By Miss Mimi• 19 Jun 2012 09:24
Miss Mimi

Father's aren't supposed to take care of their kids fubar. Mothers are the only ones that matter. :P

By fubar• 19 Jun 2012 09:23
fubar

Does that mean that fathers who work don't take care of their kids?

By anonymous• 19 Jun 2012 09:22
anonymous

if they work how do they take care of their kids -> housemaids

By britexpat• 19 Jun 2012 09:21
britexpat

As I said earlier , It's horses for courses..

"Frankly I think working makes me a better mum, because I'm so much more attentive to my son when I am home with him, and a lot more relaxed with him"

A stay at home mum could say similar. We can all justify our reasons.. :O)

By fea_sad• 19 Jun 2012 09:18
fea_sad

No sanki u are wrong ...working mother do take care of their kids ...

working doesn't mean to ignore family

By Miss Mimi• 19 Jun 2012 09:18
Miss Mimi

I'd go mental being home all day. Frankly I think working makes me a better mum, because I'm so much more attentive to my son when I am home with him, and a lot more relaxed with him.

I like this from the psychologist:

“I see people on both sides of the fence,” says Dr Melanie Schlatter, health psychologist at the Well Woman clinic in Dubai. “Some women are really happy they’re at home, while others feel they have left their career behind. What I always say when people come to me for help over issues such as these is to look at what is best for the children, because we know that all the psychology research says that they tend to be much better psychologically adapted when their mothers are in a good place or psychologically healthy. So they would much rather have a mum who goes off to work and comes back in a great mood rather than staying home all day and being grumpy and depressed. So I think it’s really important to look at what’s facing the individual.”

By anonymous• 19 Jun 2012 09:16
anonymous

happy coz no need to take burden of kids

By britexpat• 19 Jun 2012 09:15
britexpat

There is no "one size fits all"..

My youngest sister hates the thouhght of staying at home and says that she found it depressing and boring. She went back to work at the earliest opprtunity leaving the kids in nursery.

My other sister, gave up work and devoted her time to the family. She says that she does not miss the work and enjoys herself being a "home maker"

By Molten Metal• 19 Jun 2012 09:12
Rating: 3/5
Molten Metal

Working mothers are more happier at office than home.

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