Staying together for long.......
is there a secret?
For those who were married in the 50's or 60's, maybe it's not really a very big concern, but for those who were married in 80's or 90's and maybe the current ones, what is the ingredient required to stay together forever or at least stay long?
I remember one time that a respectable Qler mentioned that she was almost 30 years married and the relationship is still very much intact (and she's an American).
I am to celebrate my 26th year anniversary, not all that smooth though but we are still together and very much happy. Many downs but we manage to surpassed those obstacles of married life!
Any additional inputs?
wheres the cuban shotputter gone now?
wow flor happy anniversary! i always thought mr & mrs flor a great couple cheers!
Love.
how could you? You are a man after all...albeit one who wears furry thongs....ah well!
women and shoes .. I just don't understand it ...
ah...the Louboutins got stretched out...tsk, tsk, tsk!
I put myself in Mrs Expat's shoes , along with her stockings and she got really irritated :O(
there should be mutual respect, support and love for each other.One should always put herself in the shoes of her partner and vice versa before reacting, commenting and deciding on something. Decisions made no matter how big or small should be discussed and agreed upon.
The secret of a successful marriage must be a creaky bed.... or a worn out bed ;)
marriage is a combination of love,trust,lust,care,respect,forgiveness n compromise.
if a person know the rules and the pain of divorce,that will automatically make a person to be aware of what a blessing been together is......
"a wife should b the clothing of the husband,n the husband should be the clothing of the wife."
as v all know,we cloth are selves to cover up are body
like wise,the wife should know to cover up the errors in a husband.n the husband should cover up the errors in a wife.that will lead to a blissful marriage....
n if a person does it,that means he has got the right combination of marriage.
Just take the word "compromise" out of the relationship and replace it with "äppreciate".... it will all be just fine.
Don't worry.. Things will work out for the best :O)
I can understand what you are saying, but at the end of the day, they are just excuses..
Firstly, one must always try and try and try to repair a broken relationship. However, It is not easy, but at the end of the day, surely your own happiness comes first. Children are not stupid , they can also see and feel a broken relationsip.
for every problem. Sometimes, correcting or making right what is wrong is not the best solution. There are cases that you just need to forgo with the wrong and served it a lesson to move on. What is important is problem should not be left undiscussed. And both parties inputs should be laid. Whatever the compromised solution reached, time to move on!
brit, many factors I can tell you ....like culture, children, society, financial dependence and so on. But yes, I agree...its better to move on and be happy rather than stay together suffering if one has tried every possible means to make things right.
courtship is the process in searching of the best partner to marry...marriage is the process of accepting the person's farting in front of you.it is a matter of sacrifice and accepting each shortcoming to stay together for long...
i met my wife in 1986 and got married and still i dont have any problems LOL
the PROCESS works fine
trust me I feel ya..seeing my parents divorce after being married for over 27 years was devastating to say the least. Made me question then the whole fabric and purpose of marriage. Specially since this all happened during the initial and most trialling period of my marriage. But Alhamdullilah today I feel much better. Mainly because of learning this valuable lesson. ie to put all my trust in God and know that He alone will safeguard my marriage. I'm just a mortal as is my husband..Its up to the Almighty alone to ensure we remain true,honest, and faithful to each other not to mention compatible in the years to come.
I never understand why people stay together if they're not happy. Why not move on and make a happier life for yourself ?
Tinker, Every marriage is as different as possible and so is every couple. What works for one may not be same for other. So chill and go with the flow. All the best.
just six years now and I must say so far its been quite a roller-coaster ride that I can't imagine how being married for 26 years must feel..Good for you flor and your wifey.. Congrats!
IMO marriage does take some hard work specially in the initial "learning" stages but it also has pays off good. Patience is the key..that and not expecting too much or too little from your spouse, compromise and knowing when to say what and when silence is golden!
In arguments it helps if one party tries to remain ice cool as possible. Fighting fire with fire doesn't always work and may actually intensify what could have been solved easily. And another rule..once forgiven it must be forgotten. No raking up old mistakes to prove a point.
And absolutely no unfavorable comparison should be tolerated. no "oh so and so's hubby is so caring why can't you be like him " Accept no ones perfect..period! we are all human. Of cos personally I have stuff I will not accept from my man like say extra marital affairs, committing illegal acts knowingly, physical abuse etc but thats not say I would judge those who chose to forgive their partners in these matters as well. All in all marriage rocks..period. and there's really no hard and fast foolproof rules!
the secret is...give more and expect less.
if you derive pleasure in giving..you will never be unhappy in life.
I never mentioned that marriage is on paper alone! What I am saying is, it is the sign of good faith. If one chose not to get married, then there is no legal bonding! Legal bonding means contract!
Love can blossom ... Given a chance.
both parties and as much as possible, balanced!
"...and make the perfect omelette"
tinker, Is it the missing words in ur signature? lol :)
compromised by heart is already there. Because if it is not there clearly, why signed the paper?
Brit, that exactly what I wanted to say. Marriage is not to be taken as a contract on paper. Its a relationship between two hearts not a contract one needs to honour.
Compromise comes from the heart and because you care - not because of a piece of paper..
compromise is already there. If one is use to sleeping alone, after marriage, it will not be the same. If one used to party so much, it should be minimized after marriage. If one used to spend his/her money by himself, then it will compromised again.
But of course, all these compromises are clearly stated during the ceremony, so one need not be surprised or complain about it. That's why both parties signed the marriage license better known as Marriage Contract or Certificate!
Compromise and trust have to come from both partners..Another aspect is knowing that he/she is the sexiest thing on the planet - apart from Angelina Jolie that is :O)
and in any contract, compromise is part of it. Two persons being made as one. Two different personalities combined and made to live as one. Willingly or unwillingly, compromising is inevitable because it's part of the first move in the first place.
compromise....do it only if u can put that out of ur mind...otherwise it will stay in ur mind and hurt u....
flor, as I said earlier, if things are done with love willingly one wouldn't feel as if compromise. Only when done unwillingly, that feeling would come up.
everything should be two way and balanced! But compromising is inevitable!
Tinker, when its the only one partner doing the compromise thing in marriage, other party needs a huge shake to wake them up.
NGTD, I like that. Never marry for any reason other than love I say :-)
give lot of thinking before marriage than after marriage :)
Caring, Honesty and Love..
Many Congrats to you and Ace!!
one party rule over the other. Let the rule of marriage governs both so tension is minimized if not eradicated!
Its been just 3 years for me so can't say much but mutual understanding and trust is as important as love I think. When those three are present, there is no such thing as compromise.
Share everything, respect the other person's space... dance often, and say I Love you to each other everyday at least once...
These may not be THE ingredients, but at least they are some of it...
Bless u.
one could not have it all. You have to give in to your spouse real personality because it's part of the contract!
"trust" the only secret to stay forever...
Mrs Expat has put up with me for 26 years. It's all about caring, communication and compromise :O)
This is what married life is...One has to adjust and compromise to make a beautiful relation to go on for long..