Your Views: Living Together - Good or Bad?

All I am saying, Azilana, I do not think you are tactful at all, and fairly straight forward.

And yes, some elements from a character can be drawn from writings, but not from 1 only, there have to be consistencies in numerous.

I got banned, because of obvious reasons. Crossing the line. Which is also a bit difficult, because most of my posts are on the edge anyway :-P

I know what's your old(banned) QL monicker and I don't care what happened or why it happened. if you are someone I know personally (outside QL), and you think you know me (or as you say, READ me like a book/see through me)...

all i can say is: Ïf you think you know me? Think again..."

;)

Oh, yes... and I say what I think. Indeed.

I think that is referred to as honesty? it may be blunt, but at least clear and forget political correctness, that just guarantees a dull discussion.

Nothing beats a good

Azilana,

You tactful? Ha...no way.

Either I read you like a book and am the only-one that SEES.

Or,

You fool yourself thinking you are tactful.

As I said, I love it when you put your verbal claws into somebody, I like your *spice*

lol LIB maybe ur rite .. but 95% users know me well in real .. so no need to worry .. when ma wife check my message on Ql , she always to say to me u bloody pervert :) lol

...women in QL are shy. You might get a PM though. :)lol Just wait for sometime.

Life is Beautiful...Indeed!

...but that will be bad for you...you might end up with homos in prison and the Metrocity guy will write bad stuff about you on QL ;))lol

Life is Beautiful...Indeed!

lol

No one answer my question

simple . i will rape her :) lol

...assuming that you didn't get married to her and she wants to screw your happiness...she can go to the court and the court will order you to give half of your books,clothes,bicycle,train,car etc. to her.;)) What will you do then???

Life is Beautiful...Indeed!

...you will be amazed...But I don't you well enough yet to share ;)lol...

Life is Beautiful...Indeed!

but I make sure I am TACTful about it....if you know what I'm meaning ;-P

LIB wen i was n bangalore my college time i took one flat with 2 bedroom ... me in my room my gal friend in her room :)

...relationship and the courts have rules that if a live in relationship lasts for more than 6 months it will be deemed equal to a marriage in the eye of the law.

Life is Beautiful...Indeed!

Live-in relationships are far more unprotected than marriages and hence they require exceptional amount of committment from both partners. It is much more demanding it terms of emotional investment than a normal marriage too. It can be used painful in times of seperation but so are broken marriages. I think the only factor which makes a marriage safer than a livein is the legal aspect as it provides the financial security to one party.

Life is Beautiful...Indeed!

I don't know good and bad I have to do research now?

Who wants to live with me?

Azilana,

Outspoken indeed.

Yet,

Solomon,

Easy tiger. I happen to love your country.

Where I come from we have similar problems, maybe on a smaller scale. We have divorce laws because we are 'secular' (supposedly) and the church, even the Catholics, have stated that divorce is permitted but, in the eyes of God the first marriage remains valid. When you are married and not able to divorce, you have to live your life in pain and agony and have no chance on happiness unless you ignore the law, thank you Jesus.

No children when living together is what is common, some do have children, yet the majority wishes to marry first.

As goes for the truckload of idiocy, overall... compare the Philippines to any country in Europe. I think you might want to reverse your statement. It doesn't mean that I do not love the Philippines, love the people love the sights love fucking Red Horse!!!

for me, living together takes guts and deternination for things to work...just like marriage.

I could not define what its like in marriage(coz I'm not married) but I had my share with the "live-in" status...

it's just a proof af both parties agreeing to terms and conditions but like any other contracts/documents, it could/will be breached by one party or both...

A commitment comes from the heart, not a piece of paper. People who live together can be just as committed to each other (and even more so in most causes I would say) then a married couple.

a commitment is more of a contract, and a written one. With all the provisions and sections giving both parties clear views of what to expect and security if anyone try to breach it!

You only say commitment in marriage, not in live-in arrangement! It's precisely the reason for it, no commitment! Agreement is different from commitment! In my personal view only!

"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"

a commitment is more of a contract, and a written one. With all the provisions and sections giving both parties clear views of what to expect and security if anyone try to breach it!

You only say commitment in marriage, not in live-in arrangement! It's precisely the reason for it, no commitment! Agreement is different from commitment! IMHO!

"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"

Well seeing as how I don't want to get married, yes, living together is ok. And I think those that say it's "not a real commitment" have never done it.

I think that living together is a solution for people so that when divorced no harm to any, nobodey will take the money of the other in the name of equality.

Unfortinatly it is not the best solution. In islam nobodey takes the money of the other after divorce. so a better solution is to get married and then live together. This will protect the woman and kids in the future if the woman got pregnant. the kids will have a known father, and the father is responsible for spending on them and his wife!

demand that he TURNS OVER HIS SALARY to me every payday...lol

You see, living in...you share everything. Share footing the bills, the chores, he has his freedom as much as you have yours.

Another set-up of "living-together" is that a couple cohabits like husband and wife. Only problem is...if like you said, one fell out of love or some differences that the two could never agree on...THAT WOULD BE A DEAL-BREAKER

FUNI is just stating what he thinks...he's very outspoken (to a fault, that is) when he feels like it.

no children while in live-in stage?

And you ridicule our country, why, are all those you mentioned lasts are not happening in other countries like the "west" I presume?

Would I presume that having divorce laws makes a country better?

You have that truckload of idiocy, not us!

"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"

"but I could not demand what a wife could from her husband"

What? Why? bullshit!!!

Living together makes you even more equal, I would guess. As you have no intentions of pooping out kids, thus the chores can be divided equally.

No divorce in the Philippines correct? Why? Because of the church.

Well, so you end up with cheating husbands, domestic violence and a whole truckload of idiocy, thank you Jesus.

but do this failed marriage really end up in divorce?

There are countries (like in my country) where there are no DIVORCE. There is "annulment" and "legal separation", but it's different from divorce.

As a woman, I see myself on the losing end if ever I agree with LIVE-IN. I would do what a wife normally does (household chores and everything) but I could not demand what a wife could from her husband.

The pretext of living-in really depends on the couple themselves.

and I'm not condemning/judging those who are currently "in it" nor agree with it. As a parent myself, I don't want any of my kids to do this and have kids out of wedlock in the process.

But I don't believe in marriage just because she got pregnant or he had someone pregnant. Marriage because of the wrong reasons is as bad as living together without the blessings of matrimony.

living together or "live-in" arrangement is a moral issue as almost same as marriage and divorce arrangements. Even in human laws, it varies ...... widely. Personally, when I was young, I find it repulsive, wherein the woman is always in the loosing end. Now, I don't want it to be even tried by my children. I still find it immoral, IMHO, based on my personal conviction. Of course, unless you don't go to church!

"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"

If given an option to change partner every week; then men definitely enjoy and have Fun; using their partner as Sex toy and throw in the garbage....

The seriousness/commitment in the relationship is not required! No moral or social responsibility!

LIB.....a new concept or paradigm shift, will stay for sometime till everbody experience and then goto Basic again.

It is better to stay what's been taught us on day one; law of nature and our religion.

Azi: you will see some new comments and people exp now :-)

Thanks and Peace!

duplicate

and to think that the guys/men are doing it for the "test drive". IF ever I hear that as the reason, I'll break the guy's (both) necks ;-P

ll pertains to relationships. And yes, on every topic/occassions living together/cohabitations was discussed. But in this topic, we're discussing about the "disadvantages and advantages of living together, per se".

That's why I ask what are the people's view about it coz those who commented on those topics may have a different view after a period of time...

Will need to check how many test drives the gilr is been through so far now on..lol

come on people. A BIG NO.

______________________________________________

- Listen to Many...Speak to a Few -

GOOD! - but here not allowed.

You have to respect the customs and law of the place where you live.

War looking for peace,

is like fornication looking for virginity.

RED your post... so watz up dear?

Do you have plans for the evening already? :)

Life is Beautiful...Indeed!

Living together is nice, as long as you have no obligations upon each other.

For me, marriage is just a piece of paper, but there are many hidden responsibilities behind that paper which you cannot simply kick out.

Btw, I'm not married...so I cannot really compare & contrast.

May be, it's all about the understading between you & your partner

I am for gettig married and divorced as many time as you want/like/can....

Elizabeth Taylor is a great sample for me...

*********************

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are small compared to what lies within us."

Oliver Wendell Holmes

Azilana,

I do not agree with a word you have said.

Unless you can provide me with a source that state your 'facts', I will stick to the following.

- Living together before marriage equals being married and living together, if you divorce it is because you fell out of love or at least one of you did. A dated piece of paper has NOTHING to do with that.

Personally I would not want to marry anybody unless I have a 2 years relationship and live together for a minimum of one year, as this is the period where you REALLY get to know somebody.

1 Out of the 3 marriages fails these days, this to me has to do with limited influence of the church on society, looking at specifically Western Europe, I can imagine this part of the world stands model for other parts of the world.

As goes for me:

Single, an happy that way. My last 4 GF's, from all nooks and cracks of the world, in the last year all started nagging about marriage and children after a short time or where hypersensitive to little remarks I made about my desire to have children, which is none momentarily. The last GF was a one time per week drink & bunnyhup lady of 37 years old, she told me to have no expectations the first time.... yet she fell in love or something like that. hence, ESCAPE!!!

Don't know why...Just the way it is...

I use to think the other way around but...

You can't teach experience...

Qlers opinion....

http://www.qatarliving.com/node/160578

http://www.qatarliving.com/node/522910?page=2

http://www.qatarliving.com/node/37186

Looking for some more or latest views....may have changed with times; I doubt.

I think guys and girls should live seperately AFTER their wedding, it saves the girls sooooo much trouble!!!!!

"Ali Baba and 40 thieves" are now "Ali Baba and 30 thieves" ; 10 were laid off.

...and a result of paradigm change in our lifestyl,priorities etc. I don't think it is 'permitted 'in any religion. But my friend,you will be surprised to find what's going on in today's world which is so far off from your religion.

Personal opinions are very important because 'live - in' is a very personal decision. The OP is not intending to ask whether it has 'religeous sanction'.You see to be focusing your answer more on that aspect.

Life is Beautiful...Indeed!

Not at all accepted in our religion, culture and traditions. We all know that World is moving in a certain direction, where people don't wanted to enter into serious commitments (institution of marriage) and happy to live such life for longer period then in marriage life (generally in the westernworld).

Personal opinion or views doesn't make any sense where we already have a clear line drawn and well defined law is in place.

Thanks and peace

Living together is like marriage in all aspects except of course the paper that binds them... it's better i think, as its more convenient for both persons involved and easier to get out of if it really wasn't working well...

Life's a bitch and then you DIE! ;)

especially when we're talking about finances.

the "and/or" in the joint bank accounts...lol

It all depends how commited you are to each other and to the relationship.

Personaly, I feel that being married is the way to go, since it tends to bind the two legaly. Others, i am sure will disagree. And yes, i know that cohabiting couples have the same rights as married couples in many countries. :O)

Xena. At 35+ the entire outlook changes along with the priorities.

Azilana - You would get weary of relationships sometimes because it cost a lot interms of personal freedom and if what you are looking for in a relationship is not very strong in your current relationship;there is a risk of getting bored of it :) That's by experience ;)

Life is Beautiful...Indeed!

I'm in my late 30's and single (sort of--not married, what else ;-P)and being in a relationship sometimes could be weary for me.

Having a very taxing job, then a demanding BF (now my EX), I feel wanting of being free to do what I want when I want it. Living together was brought up and though I like the idea, I still value my freedom more than anything else...

Sometimes, it gets confusing, really... :(

I have to agree - being a 35yr old woman who has been on her own for a while, it is sometimes difficult to start changing your ways to fit into someones life, and have them fit into yours - not impossible, but difficult.

I lived with my ex-husband before we married - nothing changed after, except as Miss Saigon said, my signature - however I was very young when we married and niave to think that some of the issues that I though would resolve themselves, didn't - we always got on well, and today we get on better than ever before - but I wouldn't marry him again because we have both changed.

Being in any relationship here in Qatar has been difficult - as men here have a very different outlook on how they want their women to be - so if you had to live with someone here (discreetly) it would lead to a better understanding of both parties - and then you could decide if you wanted to make it a permanent thing.

I am a very strong-willed person - I think my boyfriend likes that - however I know he also likes to take charge of situations - something I am not used to because I have always been one to take charge - I find it hard to let go - if we lived together we could possibly learn compromises - but again - at my age - do I really want to change who and what I am? Even for a man?

Sorry, might have rambled a bit - or even gone off topic - just thought I would give some extra insite.

"if you don't like the heat... get out of the kitchen... but stop trying to fan the flames before you leave... it will burn you on the a** as you go through the doorway...." ME

visit www.qaws.org

Trial Marriage,.,just to be sure and decided to end up together for life legally!

If living together does not work out, the loser will always be the women and it is an advantage for men for gaining more experience in many ways.

>

A Few Breed of Men...

i wish i knew UkEng.. :P

Who is the Expert.. Dr Phil or Oprah?

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HE WHO DARES WINS

lol UkEng, that, you have to ask the experts :P

MJ wrote "test-drive" now how many test drives does one need do before he/she decides on the type and model..:)

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HE WHO DARES WINS

Imagine not living together first and then discovering on the night of your wedding that he picks his (or her) toenails and licks his plate clean!!! No no no you have to get them trained way before the big day!

A friend likes to say "...try before you buy"

Im a bit ol fashioned...I wouldnt but hey, each to his/her own. I'm pretty indifferent to what others do. But when it comes to me and my sisters...well, you can guess. Dull bore I am, LOL.

If you follow Allah it is bad. So living together will make you unhappy, so do not do it. If you are free from guilt and it makes you happy, then do it. Allah has given us free will, so let each person make their own choices in life.

my husband has a long surname ,to compensate for his short - - - - uh temper (naughty mind) actually we just run out of condom thats why we decided to get married, I don’t want to doubly disappoint my mother.

been maried now for 8 years.

your maiden last name, and hypenated with you're husband's...that's why it became longer ;-P

and for women around that age, that would be wasting (valuable) time especially when the BODY CLOCK is ticking...hehehehehe

we live-in for about 3 years before we got married, i didnt see any difference, just a change of my signature which is longer after i got married.

living together can also be viewed as sort of a "test-drive", some couples do it as a next step after they've been dating for some time, this is where they discover more new things about each other... some may tend to disagree though..

...living together would be a good idea for older couples who have reached an age of say 35 years without finding a suitable life partner. The reason is - the older you get the more difficult it becomes to change your habits,outlook towards life etc and it would be a good idea to go for a 'test drive' before getting into something permanent so to speak. ;0

Life is Beautiful...Indeed!

"You can't teach experience." (Vegas)

I just posted this topic as I was having a nice discussion with one of my officemates about this over lunch today.

No worries, I'll try to monitor the topic/thread so it won't degenerate to culture/racial bashing....insha'Allah.

On where you live, if you have premarital education/awareness, and if you marry the first and only person you live with.

It would be wiser to live together instead of getting because of the wrong reasons, like parental pressure (arranged marriages) or teenage pregnancies.

get you east vs west answers -

Liberals are going to say go for it - Conservatives are going to tell you haram....

You are just stirring the pot, arent' you;-)

"if you don't like the heat... get out of the kitchen... but stop trying to fan the flames before you leave... it will burn you on the a** as you go through the doorway...." ME

visit www.qaws.org