Why? No real friendship in Gulf......
May be this question is been asked many a time on QL.
This is my personal feeling that I am in the Gulf for over 16 years (since 1993) but I don't have a single friend here, with whom I could share and discuss my achievements, successes, failures, strength, weaknesses, happiness, sorrows and family matters....
Somebody said that wife is your best friend, which I have tried and still trying but she could not reciprocate due to certain differences in our personality and level of understanding.
I have many childhood, school, community and old work place Friends back home in Mumbai.
Is it because we are too much self centred, choosy, demanding and conservative in making friendships? I don't blame others but looking into my own personality traits and behaviour.
May I lack the ability to persuade right people or my job and work (audit) doesn't allow me to mix with other colleagues?
Does anybody feels the same, could share their experience and welcome your comments...
?
its based on caring and sharing, tell me where u r hiding bella?
Victory can you be my friend ?
a real friend who has many sheeps with him....:)
You are lucky TB :)
I have awesome friends here in Qatar
thats proved again Time is Money and vice versa!
So the question changed How much money you have minted so far? (who cares about friends) ;D
Have a Great Holi and a Great Weekend !!!
LMAO TB !
It took you two years to think of that? You must rank as one of the slowest posters on QL :p
I concur with UKENGQatar
Quote
"
Victory I guess we are all here to make money and not friends?
Friends and Books should be a few and Good"
So the question changed How much money you have minted so far? (forget about friends) ;D
Have a great Holi and a Great Weekend !!!
Celebrating its FIRST Anniversary ;)
We all live on HOPES ;)
Victory...after your update...I think I can keep my hopes alive to make some more friends here in Qatar....:)
Search is still ON....mostly 'UNREAL'......
Search is still ON....mostly 'UNREAL'......
like Rizk, Arien, rMs, Speed, Smokey, Verisim, Khanan, FS and many more .........are REAL Friends ;)
You HIT the target!
Happy: The level of "Friendship" is been kept at higher place and to make it scalable is not easy :)
Victory I guess we are all here to make money and not friends?
Friends and Books should be a few and Good!
Victory.. I was hoping you will say yes and boost my enthusiasm to keep my hope alive...but all phussssssssss...:)
Victory bhai, m not ur real Preind ? :(
WK......more expectation more pains :(
Friendship is such an over-rated term.
Victory, Did you find real friends in last one year?
LOL Victory bhai....
Congratulations for the complition of 1 year.
Time just flies away, its like yesterday only i hav read this thread....:)
... sometimes, at a certain point of time....
with one by FS.....seems similar concerns
http://www.qatarliving.com/node/550021
Gypsy...apologies in that case. I did search for the previous posts to check where your comment came from, but didn't see one & hence posted my remark.
In fact I was surprised at the post too, knowing little bit of Canadians by now.
Agree that two individuals are not same....one's need changes with passing time....you will learn with
experience.
FS.. the related link....fyi
http://www.qatarliving.com/node/405369?page=1
Vb Thanks for the link... that post is beyond my understanding!:)
blablabla...expect only what you give..lol you wont get anything better!
I can make friends but don't for the simple reason that they suck! Forget it VB. All have the same friends like yours.
So sorry to hear that!~
Just try your best to open your mind and treat others heart-to-heart, then it will be not difficult for you to make good friends.
__________________________________________________
People meet and people pass by,some laugh while some cry,some give up while some always try,some say hi and some say bye!
Well I can for sure say with 100% certainty that I have never met a snobbish Indian here (I knew one in Canada, but she was 3rd generation Canadian so I really don't think her snobbish attitude was related to her being Indian but rather to her being a rich spoiled brat).
Not only keralites.. i do have many qatari frens, canadians, egyptians, etc etc and many other states from india. Its ones attitude which helps in making frens.
sometimes if u see a qatari guy u may dunno how to start a conversation. u may be feeling shy to talk ? well my case i do salam and start like 'ya sheikh shahbaarak.. shlonak.. shah thoyyib n bla bla.. .
in some cases, some people dont like to make frens with a smoker ? or a person who drinks. u may have a fear like u will also fall in those bad habits if u acompany with them . may be cos u are a very religious person or something els ?
And the thing wich i dont understand is, what kinda feelings and sorrows should u share with ur frens ? u are a married gentle MAN ! most of ur problems relating will be family issues. i dont think any one of u will share their family matters or politics with their frens. like 'my wife got angry with me today' 'she did not prepare fud for me' 'she did not sleep with me today' n bla bla.. may be if it is for a student, a kid, he will have things to share with his frens like 'dad beat me today' mom scolded me ''my gf broken with me n bla bla..
And do you think u have got frens in india whom u can share these kinda feelings ? i bet NOO !!!
You can make frens now, but for sure u cannot make a frend like wat u say for sharing feelings n bla bla.. and i think these kinda frenship should build up from your childhood itself. its too late bro !
I dunno whether it is right for a 19 year old guy to advice a matured man like u but just put my opinion ! sory if some word hurts u !!
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tEaCh Me RuLeS, i'Ll TeAcH hOw To BrEaK iT ..
rMs..!!
VB..if you dont mind...... I would like to know which topic UKeng was referring to...
snobbish, while in real we are not....approved what FS commented.
RMS....well buddy,
you are from kerala, malayam speaking, in Doha there is a huge population from your community (very social), easy to get many families from your district. Given example of your father, the issue is in one's personality like reserved or feeling shy.
PCG..it is just a voice from inside that i am missing something, missing a selfless, unconditional, free and frank friendship. QL is the best place to discuss issues, get information and take some valuable advises and suggestions.
Many Thanks....UKeng....for your kind words and wishes.....I know which topic you are referring.....
CBD & Siddh: India is a huge country with soo many people, it is very very difficult to generalise any specific characteristic.
Anyways, Many thanks to all of YOU and ALL your points and suggestions noted....I will practise and try my level best to get one in Qatar soon.
Siddh I didn't say it, VB said it, I repeated it with that little confused face emoticon because I've never met a snobbish Indian and didn't know where that statement came from.
opz sorry ! was in a hurry to have my dinner ! :)
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tEaCh Me RuLeS, i'Ll TeAcH hOw To BrEaK iT ..
rMs..!!
i thought your reply was great.............after I had read it 3 times. Why the 'text' talk?
I will hoist that up the flag pole and see who salutes it!!
ye r8.. ye maried and no tym with frens..
i think it is a common thing for indians.. like u know.. i never saw ma dad hanging out with frens or something every weekends.. . he got mny good frens here but nothing like sharing feelings happines n bla bla.. just visiting them once in a while .. partying once in a while .. picnic once in while like that.. and we got more than 28 families (relatives)here in doha.. and all weekends ma parens hangout with them just like a get together..
if u dont have a friend whom u can share ur sorrows feelings etc, its okei, but if u dont have a single friend atleast to talk or to give a party relation, then am sorry to say that something is really wrong with u..
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tEaCh Me RuLeS, i'Ll TeAcH hOw To BrEaK iT ..
rMs..!!
VB read your interesting concerns about not having made true friends in the Gulf.. What could be the reason?
Could it be that you are too reserved?
Could it be that you are too careful?
Could It be that you are too concerened?
Could it be other reason.
Well my dear friend VB after your views on one special subject very close to my heart, I think for me you have become of the most respected on QL.
God bless you and your family my dear friend.
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HE WHO DARES WINS
I felt quite sad reading this. Friendship is a funny old thing. Are you saying you are lonely because of the fact you have not made a friend or is it just a thought that occured to you? Are you a shy person. Do you find social interaction hard work?
I am sorry you cannot share a friendship with you wife; that is very sad to hear.
Why not take the bull by the horns and ask a work mate out one night for a coffee. Meet somebody who you like and trust on QL.
Take it slowly and one day you will meet somebody. Very seldom does nobody make a friend if they put their heart into it.
Good luck xxxxxxxx
I will hoist that up the flag pole and see who salutes it!!
Gypsy...how closely you know Indians to conclude such? How would you take the statement: Canadians are generally racists?
On the issue of making friends, true friends do cross your path and it is not limited to any particular region.
I agree with britexpat: take it slow & be selective.
Cheers!
Zhyiella..thank for the advise and sorry for late reply but just saw your msg..
I would rather live with wrong transaction and have peace of mind trying to correct things lol Relax!
VB..no worries..and good luck!
Indians are one of the fruits of life btw...simple, humble, intelligent, basic, and most of all human! just wanted to cooment on this :)
Sorry for the hijack but i am sure you all got use to it by now!
Should not we post a topic titled: free subject?? so that we can use it as a sitting room where discussing just evolves without writers complaining about hijacks!
I don't think this happened in QL before..
Back to friendship plz!
Your use of the term "True Friends" was crucial..
As expats, we meet and interact with many people. However, there are only a select few we call "true friends". These friendships can blossom based on many things, but usually last the test of time.
I can personaly say, that those true friends I made during my stay in Saudi will always be there for me, no matter where I am in the world.
Indians are considered snobbish? :S
you call this as friendship or meeting for a short term assignment?
I am discussing here about the lasting attachments or call a real friendship.
@FS: I know the problem is me, we Indians already perceived as snobbish in general.
I need to provide comfort zone to others, for clapping we need both the hands to act with coordination.
Thanks CBD for detail advise.
@RMS: You are right, I am committed to my family on weekends and to work during weekdays....so where is the time for friends.
.
.
Amen to that!
You can start a new thread with this post, Gypsy!
.
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I think you can find real friendship here, but I think it's harder. Many people come with the attitude of I'm here for a good time not a long time and they apply that to relationships and friendships alike. People who are professional expats (as I like to call them) are also very good and walking away from things and people, because they have to be.
After 4 years here I can say I've met some really good and true friends, however for every 1 of them I've met dozens of false, fake, arseholes who eventually show their true colours.
yea ..I miss them all.... jauntie and her hilarious comments the most:(
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obazeed..dragonfly...jauntie...misscat...
damn, stop leaving, my friends! :(
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.
i made many friends here but they always leave once you away from the place...but friends from native forever will connected each other
16 years without real friend? Do you happens to wear a handlebar mustaches?, Never treat a friends to a lunch?, a go it alone type?...
Its not about Gulf...its about the individual..
I don’t have many friend either... but I know it’s because of ME... I am very snobbish in real….lol
I don’t initiate a conversation... nor do I like people getting to know me..:) But when they know me they know I am just opposite to their first impression about me!
I do have few good friends whom I cherish...
I WAS not able to swipe my online card.. so Bad I cant claimed my Overtime pay.... lol............. Anyways, the Industrial Partner always received his Share after the Year End P/L report...hehehe...
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you are included during last night late shift...(approved your overtime sheets)
your comments.....Qlers' (accountants, Zhy, CBD) have to spent late night shift to pass all reconciliation entries to correct the B/s, P&L and cash-flows.
Thank you ALL for your valuable advises and suggestions!
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GUdnyt to all..
gUDnyt CBD---. Hope you can make a proper adjusting and reversing entry for the Incorrect Transaction done.. dont forget to Update the GL as well as the SL.... nyt...
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i have the best friends ever here.... I am so lucky and blessed
and i have visted/been visited by friends who left....
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night to all peeps....
Obviously FIFO AND LIFO had a big difference from each other. From the word itself and also how they are used in accounting process.... All accounting transactions are recorded through journal entries that show account names, amounts, and whether those accounts are recorded in debit or credit side of accounts...Notes are explanations/supplements for which the Audit reports can have an Unqualified Opinion....( not limited to Audit report..) well, well, well....
Accountants had a big role in the Society ..... we can't help it..
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shoe..sweet dreams..i declare you as a frank person now lol
Nice work!
already 12,,,im turning into a pumpkin again....night,,,:)
CBD,already pm'd you about my blogspot.:)
mallrat,also pm'd you about my blogspot.:)
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zhy..
there are many ways of cheating and violating business ethics in accounting..you may know about LIFO FIFO principles which does make a difference and they have conversion factors to compare them with each other..
journal entries meant to self correct but you may add as much and would still add up!
notes added to annual reports make huge difference to stockholders...
World is really not in safe hands (accountant's hands)
lol
stay vigilant!
Scandals are not limited to specific genre of work... Politics,Business and everywhere, there is Scandal.. But mind you, they need accountants to Show it all... LOL.. you might end up joining the Group.... Though accountants have their own ways of Treating each transactions but still they make a Balance Sheet and Income statement in the Same Form....
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i have a blogspot,,,ill pm it to you now...im not blogging for the bogspot that i mentioned.whew!!!i was admiring that blog somehow...
zhyiellha,,,hehehehe,,,i kinda remember the recycled ricky belmonte jokes....duhhhhhhh....
I mixed the word suffocate and sophisticate.. am thinking of the two...hehehhehhehehe..( In tagalog: PALUSOT... )
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Zhy..good ambition dear..I would vote for that too!
but would accountants accept this convention? i think not..
they always have thier ways of doing things! and guess what..they never agree with each other lol
scandals are around all the time..
sorry to tell you but I don't depreciate.. I Appreciate as time goes by.....And my Market Value is much higher now....You can appreciate then too!!!
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nyahahahahhaha....na sophocate or sophisticate?
im into fashion design.thanks for the compliment zhyiella...
thanks for the advise zhy..ur description looks correct except frank! he should have given us the blog address to prove it!
yes i have a blog,have to update it though...pm you...
and have you seen the go fugyourself.com?lol...
Cbd--- Shoe is like a running water... white as crystals but frank and straightforward like a sharpshooter hired by the Mafias... Peace....
Shoe--- PM me about your job!!! MARKETING if im not mistaken...Lets share knowledge then...
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zhyiella..
another complicated accounting statement but it makes some sense now..
as a courtesy to ur advises, I will ensure compensating for my depreciation over time..you do the same too!
I don't follow the GAAPS though as i have my own standards..you may need to adapt who knows!
hi shoe, you do have a fashion blog? that i want to read....share plz
i do have a blog,,,and havent updated it for a while,its all about fashion.
when you have a passion about something write about it.dnt worry about typo's,its normal...
my nose is bleeding from your explanation,,,,,,,,,,,lol...ouch
lol shoe..
I was not offended..I use to be when i first joined QL now I am easy tiger type..
no harm done!
I think about a blog but don't know what to write...u will know when i make one..
do u have a blog urself?
If you are an Asset then its good for you, you can make your knowledge grows as part of your Capital, or if you want to increase your Profit, Increase your Stocks and sell it to Higher Exchange rates like doing a big and Long story notes as what you've did!! But make sure, you will not end up as a Liability and Lost all your Reserves!!! Think about it...
Shoe-- Cbd is thinking of having one blogspot I bet.. Now, I already have a second thought if I will try to visit coz for sure, its gonna be a sleepy head reading and a lots of Sigh.....
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it wasnt too much,,and my apologies if it offended you.btw,,,if you have a blogspot,,,i do want to read it because i love to read blogs during my free time...
shoe...if you think that was too much..what do you think of urself commenting on my advises...
surely, you are better off commenting on my advise or the main topic as zhy instead of making jokes :)
the shorts of the story is...its never too long to write one.lol
seriously cbd,,,when are you going to start your blogspot?or do you have one that i dnt know?
I don't know what you meant by the sigh zhyiellha but i will take it as a compliment..
I always suffer comprehending accountants with thier LIFO, FIFO stuff to name a few
SHOE->>> CBD had a long story to tell..Can you translate it for me? :-0 hehehhehe...
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That would be fun.... hussssshhhh....what a long story...... To top it all, it boils down to CHARACTER/ATTITUDE ORIENTATION, CBD... sigh!!!!!
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ummm digestive biscuits and tea might help....lol:)
LOL-- no need to catch one, U might get frustrated.. hehhehehee..
same with me,today is one tough day.. Got so much work.. what to do Yani? Accounting sucks, i got lots of debit and credit entries today.... Lol...
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VB..
You will never find good friends no matter what!!
You need to do a number of things:
1- change your perception. If you expect your friends to commit no mistake, you will be disappointed. Therefore, expect thier mistakes and have allowance before things happen. It is easier to swallow expected shocks than unexpected shocks.
2- You need to walk the extra mile. Don't wait for people to make you thier friend, take the lead and make your friends. when you see people that you want to be associated with, offer help to them in anyway, ask about them regularly, show them you care about them. They will appreciate it- with varying degrees ofcourse. Invite them for a coffeeshop or cinema or whatever. This way you will know each other more.
3- Try to know what thier interests are. nothing united people like a common interest. Capitalise on this area.
4- be patient. you will always have disagreement whther in opinion or action or otherwise. There is a proverb which suggests a relationship between your ability to make friends and how fast you get bored (inversly proportional).
5- No point in making many friends (i guess this depends on who u consider a friend). Focus on quality friends than quantity. another proverb suggest: if you consider all people to be ur true friend, then u have no friends.
7- It might be worthwhile to let life flow. There are things which are meant to be. Sometimes your circumstances give you friends without you realising at the beginning.
8- Focus on closer people to you. It is a pitty if we cannot make friends out of relatives. It is an oppurtunity cost or a lost opportunity if you like.
9- I will not say it is your problem because it is not. However, you contribute to this whether you consider it a problem or not.
10- Remember that out of sight is out of mind. this may not be entirely true but deserves consideration.
Friendship is something you grow, feed and maintain.
Keep in mind that one single action could cost you a friendship which you spent years in building.
Don't feel depressed, life has changed and is becoming more systematic on the expense of human relationships I am afraid.
These are my thoughts but it is a huge subject and interesting subject.
going around and i didnt catch any?...hmmmmmm....the exhibit went well.probably enjoyed it yesterday than today.busy,busy,busy........
Im good..... Im having several books beside me now... I'm started reading them.. and my one hand is browsing over the net.. gottcha I found you.. Hows the exhibit ?.... owwss, one thing, there are so much Love notes again here in QL....Love bugs and love buggers all around d corner, brokenhearted, over-rated status.. sigh!!!! hehhehehe getting sleepy head over it!!!! LOL..
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just got out of work...yes im lucid:)how are you???
you're awake huh?
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accepting them for who they are,not what you want them to be.some people always assume thats why no real friendship exists.
ive had friends and close friends,in and outside QL.no pressure from either party,we are just ourselves.
hmmmm...strange...I have friends from many nationalities and I don't have enough time to catch up with all of them as I wish! Doha is a wonderful and easiest place to make friends!
Where were you? you are unreachable at that time.. Pepperoni and hawaiian... Gone in my stomach already coz youre not around..... Yeah Vegas had some ribs.. Lol..
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To have a friend, you have to be a friend!
It starts with you and like Vegas said, having food around doesn't hurt! ;)
we all like vegas' ribs!!!
zhyiellha, where's my pizza??
You can't teach experience...
VB- if you want real friendship.. first, you must be true to yourself. second,do not choose a friend to choose u, let the vibe bloom....and lastly, Go out into your shell maybe you are too focus on your comfort zone...
Goodluck...
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ok 29 is reasonnable :) so i wish you a very happy second life time. but when will you invite me to ur 3M!...Jk!..
its hard to make true n nice friends anywhere in the world..not only gulf
auditor huh....sorry i think the problem is pretty obvious.
You're so right panda, how did you know? I'm only 29.
Those are my friends from a previous lifetime ;-)
NFH, ....my friends for 20, 30, and even 40 years....
did you make friends before you born! you looks less then 30 how come you have friends since 40y :|
Yeah novi, we oldtimers have outlasted a lot of friends, haven't we! :-S
And darude, it's ok if you leave. Go ahead. Scram.
VB....Tell your boss to get a pretty secretary...lol
Friends are one with common interest.....seems like the guys from your office dont share your intrests....so find the ones who have something common.
....Also depends upon your work hours....if your are working more than 8 hrs then its detterent also
Thanks I like your analysis, you are absolutely right...nobody like to be corrected.....the culprit is my attitude and attention (over focused at office and home....)..
Common guys....a Great opportunity to prove, where I am WRONG!
dont try to make any real friend every one has there way so u never no when they change there treak
will sure meet you for pot there i will smoke it you sniff it ok
NFH,that the curse of being an expat. Always seeing your friends leaving.
adams.apple- Chill on the old friends??? Are you kidding?
Make new friends
But keep the old
One is silver
And the other's gold
:-)
My bestest friends are my friends back home who have been my friends for 20, 30, and even 40 years. They are my friends for life.
Have made many friends here over the years but then they always leave :-(((
So to all my new friends:
don't leave!!!!!!!!!!!!
starts at home...ask yourself WHY??? Your wife should be the one who is your bestfriend ... its the reason why we get married, to have somebody to talk with, share the ups and downs of life and specially sharing the future... Dont ever wonder why in all your years here in DOha and you dont have a special friend..simply because of YOU.... Being straightforward and a little offensive is the best ingredients for a one person if they dont want to be friends with others...
I didn't stay in gulf for long (just 3 years) but did make good friends with whom I am still in touch (left gulf ~ 2yrs from now). Not to say I do not have friends in my present place.
But again, if you are expecting friends like childhood friends you do not get them anywhere. Probably you need to assess your expectations. I wouldn't go out looking for friends to discuss family matters, it is the family who has to deal with it. Start with getting some family friends and then take it from there.
Whatever, do not force yourself to get friends....you might land up with couple of wrong ones!
wow.....I sound as a consultant already...:)
it's never too late VB, widen your horizons. in fact doha is a great place to have friends, with a lot of nationalities here you won't have a hard time making friends. everything can change positively once you initiate it. if you think the problem starts with yourself then do something about it, like i said it's never too late
You are obviously married to the wrong woman.
If you haven't made any friends in the last 16 years maybe the problem lies with you and not other people.
Keep Smiling :-) you never know who is looking
This might be the cause.. I just have check your profile and now I realized why Is it so!!!!! Maybe that's why people are running away from you!!!! Peace....
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so to speak, if you were not able to find a real friendship... maybe there's something wrong with your attitude...... I made alot of real friends in Doha.. I don't know why you weren't....Self check pls...
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no real friendship? hmmm, i do...
ive had th bestest of friends here....th problems with u my friend not with th ppl here...ppl here are much better thn th ones in india or elsewhere...
Why? No real friendship in Gulf?
.
don't know about you, but i have lots of friends here;
i have
a. seldom we see, but we knew each other very well.
b. closed friends
c. just friends
d. plastic-kan friends:(
exit door at the end of working hour!
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
"dgoodrebel is not plastic"
a call for friendship but need your comments and suggestions
Thanks Brit and DMS...I will review and analyse all the suggestions sometime tomorrow.....
There are real friendships here VB.. !!!
i do have many ..(in plenty) .. of friends here..
The main reason is only because you are married. cos u get committed.. and u haf to look after ur wife, children etc etc. and no time to hangout with friends. and if u can also, there will be limits like with in this time you have to get back to home cos ur wife is waiting.. etc etc.. !!
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tEaCh Me RuLeS, i'Ll TeAcH hOw To BrEaK iT ..
rMs..!!
Chill on the old ones.. get a heads up with new ones,
no REAL friend. You are the most unlucky person in this world. No doubt, with your history of posting here in QL, I could imagine how sorry you are!
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
"dgoodrebel is not plastic"
I am the opposite. My wife is my best friend and the friends I have made here are much closer and understanding of me, then those back home.
Perhaps, you need to loosen the strings to your Mumbai friends a little..