women after marriage

thanks guys ... It was a general question.. and i wanted to know different views from u guys...to help one of my coworkers...

Parents are parents.. spouse is spouse.. you dont need to thow one to have one. well said DMS.

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Listen to Many..Speak to a few.

dnt forget ur parents..

you are all right guys, but evaluate your self my friend, don't put all the blame on your hubby.

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"Trouble is a part of our life. If u don't share it U don't give the person who loves you enough chance to love you enough..."

you guys are all right.. evaluate your self my friend.. don't put all the blame on your husband ok?

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"Trouble is a part of our life. If u don't share it U don't give the person who loves you enough chance to love you enough..."

If i'm going to post something here, its just the repeatation of DMS first comment in this thread. Well said!

Dont ever forget your parents ok .. And try to sort out the things with your Husband together

time to check for another husband.

don't tell a lie

em, i still say you can't change a person. you could encourage the other but change will only take place as long as That person accepts that he/she is doing something wrong and needs to fix it.

i missed the part where the other party had something to do with it... or i might have woken up on the wrong side of the bed...

are two different things. The thread does not categorize the husband as such that bad and I really doubt if there's one that exist (generally). But assuming, the character exist, separation or divorce should be the last option and I would not advice (as explicitly done above by others) to divorce immediately! The other party has something to do with the "a****le" (as you call it) characteristic.

"dgoodrebel will always be the rebellious good one"

arecel, you can change a person by encouraging that person to improve. Encouragement by words and conduct do have an effect - they inspire and motivate a person to be a better person.

Granite heads need to be aware of certain things and the way to reach them is not by force. They may use force to get what they want because they are weak in character but they can change. These are not lofty ideals that I speak from but from experience. And I think ask any of the durable happily married couples, they'd probably say the same thing.

/And by the way, granite heads are not only the men. Some women too.

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Don't want no drama,

No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama

"where husband doesnt have time to do nothing for wife and kid...keeps blaming the wife and doesnt want to hear what the wife says.. what u think the wife should do....

when husband bluntly say he dont trust anyone in his life except him..."-- what an a**hole!!!

When kids are involved it gets tricky... do what u think is best for you & your children... dont think about pleasing anyone else...

eaglemmanuel, i dont think we can change another person unless that person wants to change himself.

Leave that kind of ass...e husband ASAP.

DMS - excellent advice! And one I would take if I got married. (Yes, "if")

PP81177's man is the kind of egocentric man who is quite (read: very) common, who wants a glorified maid and an emotional punching bag - probably physical punching bag later on as well. This is THE reason why I don't want to get married and suffer for the rest of my life. Divorce is unfortunately not an option, unless he threatens my life or the family (if any). You see my predicament?

Back to the problem at hand, PP81177, I think you need to get an intermediary to talk to your husband, someone close to him who can talk some sense into him.

Or I dunno... maybe you can do it yourself, since he "trusts no one but himself". I say this because I have dealt with granite heads before and if he really cares for you, he can change - to everyone else he'll be the a**hole he is but to you, could be different. BUT it will take a lot of time and effort on your part and you must have something or a few things that he really wants. You can change anything and anyone with time and patience, if you show that your motives as clearly for his benefit and not detriment. I wish you all the best and hope that things can be worked out.

/To everybody else, I should take my own advice? Yes, I can but I prefer not to unless absolutely necessary, to save me emotional trauma for I dunno how long, you know what I mean?

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Don't want no drama,

No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama

yep, try to work things out but Together please. if the wife is the only one trying to find ways to make the relationship work, it is still useless as marriage is a partnership, not sole proprietorship.

This Husband has had issues in the past and that is what is making him say that so honestly. Maybe if you can start doing things TOGETHER. Visit your parents together until he feels secure and comfortable that you can do it on your own.

You cannot just decide to end the marriage because he is going through tough times. Talk to him, always talk about what you think and how you feel - let him know what you want and what you like. He is your husband - so try to work it out.

Good luck.

was the description 100 % sure or just an opinion by the woman. Was it a regular characteristic of the man (I doubt it) or just for specific matters. But assuming that the observation is right, it means the man do not understand his role as father and husband. He need counseling. The husband has a deeper problem that need to be addressed and resolved. Any advice for separation should be last option. It depends really on the totality of the relationship.

"dgoodrebel will always be the rebellious good one"

If your husband is like what you said he is, what are you waiting for, ask for professional help and try talking to him to compromise, if nothing happens there's no way but out...

"makamal a anak"

good one dmigty

"keeps blaming the wife and doesnt want to hear what the wife says.. what u think the wife should do....

when husband bluntly say he dont trust anyone in his life except him"

what an ahole! seriously, both partners should seek counselling. if the hubby refused, the wife should decide promptly on whether to stay married or not. i hope she would choose the former before that ahole could do damage to her and the kid. better separated and happy!

"don't forget your parents". You just need to adjust your priorities. Whether man or woman, when they get married, the partner is already the priority, the parents become advisors and guide for their early years as husband and wife. A good suggestion also is to live separately away from parents so you can develop being independent and decide for yourselves. Of course, you can continue asking for guidance from your parents because they have the experience and exposures of being married

"dgoodrebel will always be the rebellious good one"