Living Apart Together? Another type of Long Distance Relationship (LDR) or not?
By azilana7037 •
As defined in Wikipedia: Living Apart Together (abbreviation: LAT) is a term for couples who, whilst committed to each other, decide to have separate homes rather than one shared residence.
I was browsing the net while doing my laundry and I came across this term.
Honestly, it's the first timne I encountered this term and from what I've read, this is common in US & Canada?
I know about LDR (as i am in one right now) but this one's NEW to me.
Anybody here CARE to explain and share what you folks think about this?
Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain!- UNKNOWN
there are different circumstances, sometimes it's temporary...
so you just have to be patient...
and it does work pretty well in case when both of them know, one day they will be together...
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This Too Shall Pass.....
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so...there must be reasons why LAT works for some and not for many.
But I won't like to be in that type of relationship. LDR is already a hard one to get thru but LAT?...no way.
Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain!- UNKNOWN
actually there are quite a few of them...
once I asked one of these guys: don't you want to come home and someone is waiting for you there? don't you want to eat together, to wake up together, do home stuff together, to care about the same house together?...
He goes: oh no! I have my girlfriend, I have a lot of friends, I go out a lot.. When i come home all I want just a quietness. I love my girlfriend, and hope to stay with her for a long time, but it’s much better if she lives away from me…
well...it's definitely not my choice..
i like to share my life in full with one I love.
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This Too Shall Pass.....
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Now I am in ME so oportunities are restricted and now confined to the Mistress only :(
wat happened to the good ol days charan?or did ya get old already??hmmmm had a chick at every port eh??lucky bugger you (that was then but wat abt now))lol
life's too short so make the most of it, you only live but once.......
Once I had a situation like this. one comes to the airport to send me overseas.and someone else comes to great me on my arrival in that perticular country :) good old days :(
as in everything in life, work on it and it will work, it needs to be nurtured and worked upon, for nothing will come out of it if ya let it be and hope that it will work......(dang am i makin any sense?:>??)ya have to make it happen so to speak
life's too short so make the most of it, you only live but once.......
they DO work. It's just an ultimate test to the true strength of your relationship.
My dentist who was from Ireland was away from her (now husband) for 4 years.
I guess if you like your independence this would work for you, but I wouldnt want to do this!!
tra la la
my lovely apple is married and she only gives me promises. distance relationship she's away from me and her husband but guarranted me she's leaving him for me......
my parents are like cats and dogs when they're together. Actually, us siblings had to live with it since childhood and it WAS STRESSFUL...
Anyways, since I started working (about 20 years ago) full time, I did my best to separate them for the family's peace of mind. Like I had my father go on (extended) trips and vacations just for him to stay out of the house and out of my mother's hair.
It's a drain in my finances since I don't get child support and I'm the breadwinner in the family but everyone was happier, the domicile is peacefully quiet and my mother is safe (physically, mentally and emotionally) and that goes for my kids as well since they live with my parents.
Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain!- UNKNOWN
From The Times
May 12, 2007
Couples that live apart . . . stay together
Based on interviews with LATs in Yorkshire, she focused on why devoted couples should want to live alone and found that most had made a conscious decision to keep their domestic lives separate.
“They have arrived at this point sometimes because a previous cohabiting relationship has broken down, or they do not want to impose a new partner on children from a previous relationship,” she said.
She found only a small minority, the “regretfully apart”, are forced into it by competing work commitments or family responsibilities.
Professor Roseneil identified a third group, “undecidedly apart”, who, while committed to one another, did not find themselves on the path towards cohabiting.
Her findings bear out the first research on British LATs conducted by the University of Oxford research fellow John Haskey, who in 2005 estimated that up to two million couples were living in separate homes.
While living apart is popular among younger people, his study found hundreds of thousands of older couples between the ages of 35 and 59 were also choosing separate living. He estimated that up to 14 per cent of 50-to 59-year-olds were LATs. Using data from overseas, Professor Roseneil said that it was “highly probable” that LATs are on the increase.
http://property.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/property/article1779831.ece
I'm sure I saw a TV documentary in the UK about a couple who lived like this. They felt it kept the marriage alive - sometimes she would go and stay the night at his place, and sometimes he at hers. Or they would eat together, then go to their seperate homes (which I think were close to each other)
They had some sort of routine set up. If I can find it in the archives somewhere I'll post it here.
hmmm, I've never heard of anyone doing this....
"When they say he could walk on water, I think of it like he could fly like a butterfly, sting like a bee. Literal people scare me, getting it wrong fundamentally, down at the church of 'Look it says right here see!" Ani Difranco
Azi, there's an abc news story on Living Apart Together
The Links are below
http://i.abcnews.com/GMA/AmericanFamily/story?id=2023499&page=1
http://i.abcnews.com/GMA/AmericanFamily/Story?id=2023499&page=2
I hope this clarifies some things!
I wish you and Mr Paul all the best!
sorry azilana no input fr meabt this one as i have not gone thru it really
life's too short so make the most of it, you only live but once.......
the partner has to go away to earn a living in another place (country) to be able to support the family.
Just like me, they have no choice but to live/work to support their loved ones like I support my parents and kids.
Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain!" - UNKNOWN
Hardly long distance, takes longer to check in than it does to fly.!!
Doha airport sucks *sigh*
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I've done long distance relationships and close distance relationships, both are a test. Living a distance apart is a test of your strength and your faithfullness. Living together is a test of your patience, lol. Patience for their idio synchrocies.
Having a relationship and living close but not together can help you understand each other whilst stilling having some personal space to escape to if it gets too much.
My sister insists her daughter didn't, but I'm pretty certain my niece and the chap she married decided to continue to have seperate homes, after the marriage, for a while.
I may be wrong, but I got the impression they weren't under the same roof all the time for a while, but I don't know the reasoning behind it.
Not much help, am I .... duh
No worries...
Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain!" - UNKNOWN
The folks here would rather discuss politics and religion...
Oh well... I tried...
Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain!" - UNKNOWN