How much equality is there in marriage ?

My wife makes more money being a housewife than me because she saves

Ihave to beg her for some when i need it. Damn!

And then shes bossy too and on top pf that shes a lot younger than me

But i dont mind as longas i get what i want :)

Naah I wouldn't want to take all the decisions, it's just too tiring and no fun!

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong :P - Garfield

The way I look at is as, we are all good at different things, its the harmony of the relationship that counts. I personaly have lived alone all over the world, so I had to learn to cook, wash, iron, houseclean and all the other things that go with having a house. I never tell my partner what to do or what not to do, if I have to do that then I picked the wrong partner.

What you do, you should do together and share the fun together, I love to cook together, Its fun and interesting. Equality is difficult because we all have different abilities, so equality in individual aspects is not easy but taking what the individual abilities bring to aa whole to partnership, there we should be equal and respected for what we bring to the partnership.

In my humble opinion an equal partnership does not work. At least not for me. I am of fairly low intelligence so it took me a long time to learn these lessons which I will share with you:

1. Women are generally smarter than men

2. Women usually have better judgement than men

3. Women are usually better communicators than men

4. Women are always better at multi-tasking than men

A relationship will work well when the woman takes 100% of the decisions. This is because women are smart enough to let the men believe that they are taking most of the decisions when in fact they are not. Don't swim against the tide guys. Face reality and enjoy the ride. You know it makes sense.

Victory attained by violence is tantamount to a defeat, for it is momentary. Mahatma Gandhi

i just love your wife! Smart woman! i'll have to remember that one!

My wife once asked me why she would ever want to be equal to me when she has been superior for so long.

So true. Marry your best friend. The best relationships I've had are with men who have been good friends.

But right now I love being single and have no plans to ever marry again!

Scarlet cool quote…that’s way it should be..

I think, it’s not the culture but the attitude of a person thats matters. In some culture it is an accepted fact that men dominate….but in that case also there are men who treat women equally… it all depends on how he was raised in his family.. I read one book on the behavior of men, in that what I understood is, if a boy has seen his father dominating his mom, when he grows up he tries to act the same way. But he is not realizing the fact that those days are gone, when mom used to be at home and take care of the kids and she is not much aware of the world outside, her knowledge is limited to what her husband says. Those days husbands used to much elder than wife, obviously he will be wiser than the wife.

Now things are changed, women also work and earn like men, she is also qualified and they both got similar life experience Even if a wife is not working she is updated with the latest happening in the world through TV and internet. So they are equal in all respect (except physical strength…lol). But some men cannot stand the thought that women are more intelligent or can take a better decision than him…..they have a preconceived notion that women are weaker/stupid.

Men should learn to accept the change and not stereotype women as their mother or grandmother. Modern day women don’t need to be submissive. But with love and respect a man can convince her to his way (secret unfolded. .lol )

Not necessary she is always right, but then again everyone makes mistakes and learns from it. If she takes a wrong decision, she should accept her mistake and ask him to take the decision next time and vice versa, that’s how it works. I personally think, If there is a dispute….. no harm in agreeing with his decision in order to avoid a conflict at home. But make sure that he don’t make it a habit. Not necessary women should always compromise.

Well I've never been married, but I did have a serious relationship (live-in) that lasted 6 years, so in my opinion in certain aspects someone does have to be "submissive" because if neither of you is willing to compromise you'll never do anything but fight. However this should be equal between both sides. For example in my relationship my ex was the one who spent the money and I was the one who earned it and managed it. He bought the food, furniture, electronic goodies, etc, because in all honesty I could care less about that stuff, basically I gave him his allowance and let him go play, and usually he would respect my decision if I said we couldn't afford something that month. He cooked, I cleaned.

Basically in a normal relationship people will just work out what role suits them best.

"You don't have to like me for who I am but we'll see what you're made of by what you make of me." Ani Difranco

Scarlett, I think that is very good advice. My husband and I played together as children and were good friends throughout childhood.

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Love is the answer...

I've seen that one too...and it works for some people...but certainly the original certainly works much better for marriages..otherwise you end up in divorce!!!

Corne...needed to add one more thing about marriages...if you can, marry your best friend...that's the best way to go...because life happens and when it does..you will always have your best friend to talk to and be with.

No, woman, no cry;

No, woman, no cry;

No, woman, no cry;

No, woman, no cry.

Said - said - said: I remember when we used to sit

In the government yard in trenchtown,

Oba - obaserving the ypocrites

As they would mingle with the good people we meet.

Good friends we have, oh, good friends weve lost

Along the way.

In this great future, you cant forget your past;

So dry your tears, I seh.

No, woman, no cry;

No, woman, no cry.

ere, little darlin, dont shed no tears:

No, woman, no cry.

Said - said - said: I remember when-a we used to sit

In the government yard in trenchtown.

And then georgie would make the fire lights,

As it was logwood burnin through the nights.

Then we would cook cornmeal porridge,

Of which Ill share with you;

My feet is my only carriage,

So Ive got to push on through.

But while Im gone, I mean:

Everythings gonna be all right!

Everythings gonna be all right!

Everythings gonna be all right!

Everythings gonna be all right!

I said, everythings gonna be all right-a!

Everythings gonna be all right!

Everythings gonna be all right, now!

Everythings gonna be all right!

So, woman, no cry;

No - no, woman - woman, no cry.

Woman, little sister, dont shed no tears;

No, woman, no cry.

I remember when we used to sit

In the government yard in trenchtown.

And then georgie would make the fire lights,

As it was logwood burnin through the nights.

Then we would cook cornmeal porridge,

Of which Ill share with you;

My feet is my only carriage,

So Ive got to push on through.

But while Im gone:

No, woman, no cry;

No, woman, no cry.

Woman, little darlin, say dont shed no tears;

No, woman, no cry.

Eh! (little darlin, dont shed no tears!

No, woman, no cry.

Little sister, dont shed no tears!

No, woman, no cry.)

The Red Pope of Qatar Living

Egomania goes with the territory of decoding your own genome.

I love this Scarlett.

"Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend."

-Albert Camus

It's the first time I saw the orininal....The one i always hear is

"Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. In fact just f*** off and leave me the hell alone!

it is appreciated...

Nah, he just spoils me :D I do feel a little guilty when he says he misses my cooking...

tra la la

;)

Scarlett,

That is also why we eat out every night, he would rather take me out then clean up after I cook. It really works out for me :D

tra la la

GREAT uncle KH...but what a mess!!! Bet you are the favoite uncle now..

jass..way to go hon!!! Hubby now takes pride in what he does...but it IS funny!!

ahh but WHY do you think they call it "cooking", corne...the stove is ALWAYS easy to turn off until later.. and those spatulas...um, nevermind..

Here's my theory: Get take-out food and a dishwasher. Why spend time cooking and cleaning when we could be doing something much more interesting ? *wink wink* haha

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong :P - Garfield

I did experience such contest with my niece. Only one difference. We used squeezable ketchup bottles.

What an uncle.

I asked my husband to clean up the kitchen, he did it, and I think it was messier than before.

I took one look at it and burst out laughing and he slinks into the kitchen asking what is so funny. I told him, only you could make it messier. Then I told him I don't care how it gets clean, you can do it or hire someone to do it, as long as I am not bothered with the details.

Well, he finally did it and was so proud of himself (he had never cleaned before!) Now every time he cleans, he shows it off, it really is the sweetest thing! :D

tra la la

and therefore u are not sexy enough hence u have to keep cooking till u remember to wear the apron!

I admit. This is the truth.

and hose you down...hmm kinda like a wet teeshirt contest, with suds.

What a messy person you are! :P

duh! i know what dishwashers are for....where do u think i put my dirty socks?

I always forget to wear the apron :(

bugs on the windshield eh? *slowly puts the pen and book back in the draw.......

come on u think i wouldnt wash the dishes if the lady cooked...i agree i'm dumb and i need to be shown how to clean the dishes ummm a few hundred times :)

and MEAN It smoke...acting just to get wht you want..women can see right through you like glass....and we all know what happens on glass...bugs on the windshield..

sometimes you're the windshield...sometimes you're the bug..

equal in every sense...but good eye smoke...just won't fly with me...lol

i hope ur rule clearly states "he who cooks" and not "she who cooks" with regard to cleaning the dishes

ok i've my pen and book ready...u can start telling me ways to be more sexy now...very soon i will rule the worlddddddddddd!!

I asked myson to fold the laundry..so what does he do? fold it but looks like the dog had been playing tug of war with it...never complained just asked him to put it away..and thanked him profusely..I think I might have scarred him for life...lol

I think a man that can cook is entirely sexy!!! Nothing better looking than a man in an apron!! And..for what its worth...he who cooks never has to clean up the kitchen...That's my rule...

oh u forgot to take my wallet! see i can be undertanding too

Cook dinner ? Sure I'll do that! *goes calls the Chinese restuarant for take-out* :P

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong :P - Garfield

and i couldnt agree with u more cornellian...whats that u say? u want to cook dinner...oh by all means sure sure...how could i even think of cleaning those dirty dishes NEVER.

being dominant.

My hub told me off for buying diet tonic water (I hadn't noticed the price and it WAS exhorbitant compared to regular tonic water).

I ran out of tonic water - shop only had diet - I noticed a note on my shopping list handwriten by hub saying 'NOT THE EXPENSIVE ONES'. So I didn't buy it. I was submissive.

However ..... we couldn't find any ordinary tonic in the stores. So, since I had no mixer for my Vodka I started on his Scotch.

Today a driver from hub's office delivered a supply of tonic water for me :o)

Thatguy, but watching him go through cooking classes is much more fun! Oh I'll even take photos and tell him that I'll show his office mates how proud I am of him! hahaha

Smoke, u can taste the salt urself, I'll be too busy watching tv! hahaha

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong :P - Garfield

but we all know how hard that is to get across to some one who is still so old school

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just hanging out and watching dvd's with helen keller... kind of a quite night.

Your theory about cooking does not apply to me.

Usually I love cooking but the kitchen will look like a nuke aftermath :)

So the reason for blacklisting me and getting court order to keep me one mile away from the kitchen is beyond my control.

By equality I simply meant no superiority. Now, how they distribute their roles, their lifestyle, their duties is completely up to the couple. My whole point was that no man should feel the right to have control over his wife's actions, he should advise her and voice his opinion but not decide for her.

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong :P - Garfield

i think i need to shut up now before i end up cutting onions or asking u to taste for salt.

actually just tell him it was great and he has to cook again every night...

hahahahahaha

i like to cook when i have good utensils... which is why i havent cooked really anything since ive been here... i got one small pot and one small pan... and a bunch of plastic utensils... blah

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just hanging out and watching dvd's with helen keller... kind of a quite night.

Cornellian.... I know that... one night I taught my wife how to use the internet, next morning my bank account had only $50 left. I didn't know that she learned internet banking that fast...

woohoo I get two dinners! :D

LOL Scarelett, or u can tell him it's bad and because u know he wants to cook so badly u sign him up for cooking classes so he can get better at what he loves! :D *evil smile*

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong :P - Garfield

First of all, I was describing the situation and not expressing my opinion.

Bottom line. What is the issue? is it equality or happiness and accord?

If we are seeking equality for te sake of equality, then there is no point in discussing it and I feel this is very theoretical and idealistic.

Marriage is a contract that should be the basis of a successful relation - hopefully - and clear understanding of various roles and responsibilities. The man is the King in some areas, the woman is the Queen in the other areas. They distribute responsibilities and exchange opinions and sometimes they exchange roles. At some instances, a compromise cannot be achieved. Hence, a decision should be taken by whoever is capable to take the decision.

Misunderstanding the meaning of equality and sticking to it, is leaading to a higher rate of divorces/seperations. Less happiness. More insecurity and pressure on the female.

In my opinion. The wrong understanding and implementation of equality is resulting in more "mannish" females and more "femininish" males.

god u girls are so smart....i thought the "screw up on purpose" secret was only known to a hand full of us men! my life is ruined now:(

young ladies..let me let you in on this one..

you ask your guy to do something around the house..say cook dinner...so after a bit of grumbling..he does...but screws it up...on purpose so you never ask him to do that again..

best way to cure that??? NEVER complain about the way he did it...just say thank you hone!!! its wonderfull...I think you need to cook from now on!!

Try to make burnt roast and u'll be sleeping on the couch mister! :P lol

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong :P - Garfield

you know what ... since i have been here in qatar i have yet to make one freaking real dinner...

i have made mac and cheese... but nothing real yet...

so maybe if your lucky and you do the dishes ill make dinner hahahahahahaha

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just hanging out and watching dvd's with helen keller... kind of a quite night.

oh i'd love to make dinner...u'll just love my burnt roast:)

Your money is our money, My money is my money" hmmm sounds like i've heard about this scheme before...100% borrowing and 0% repayment interest. Most of my customers were women!!

It's not our fault we smarter and faster! :P haha jk

And why is dinner not ready??? I'm waiting! *hand on her waist and tapping her right foot on the floor* lol

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong :P - Garfield

careful guys.... someone might be luring you into a scheme, and when you wake up it's to late....

oh yeah the scheme??... "Your money is our money, My money is my money" scheme

Oh I love that quote!

I totally agree with u and that's the point I'm trying to get across, that there is no superiority. I would hate to live with a person who thinks he's better than me.

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong :P - Garfield

i can see ladies are really having fun with this they just cant wait to post up...by the time i post this there's surly gonna be 10 more posts before mine...hmmmmmmm u want to be equal start by letting us men post as many times as u ladies do! grrrrrrrr

Butterfly..i second that...it totally depends on the relationship and how both individuals handle it. Some relationships are based on what is dictated by culture while others break the steriotypes and handle it their own way, and at that point, in my openion, is were you benefit from the full potential of the relationship, where there are no cultural pressures and steriotyped roles.

Smoke, I'm not trying to be a feminist and all, I'm just saying there should be compromise and understanding on either side, it's a give and take relationship.

As for that dinosaur, get off ur lazy ass and get it urself! :P

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong :P - Garfield

this quote sums it up very clearly...

"Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend."

-Albert Camus

A marriage is a partnership of two people..equal in every way. If there is a disagreement then talk it out, come to a compromise. No one should have dominance over the other. yes, there will be times you might argue all night and into the morning but you know what...you WILL come to a compromise...RESPECT...that is one of the most important components of a marriage.

and no, the main reason for divorce is that people go into it thinking that if things don't work well, they can just get a divorce..you have to go into it with a committment from your heart...BOTH of you..

replying to! lol

Jeez I'm slow

corne, I think it really comes down to the personalities involved in the marriage. When one first gets married, each is happy to do the other's bidding for 'love'(?). Then as you grow to know each other better, and the reality of survival takes over with homes and children etc, you realise each others weaknesses and strengths and, if you are lucky, one will compliment the other.

Probably be some arguments if the bloke thinks he should be in charge of the finances and makes a mess of it, or the woman thinks SHE should be doing the sums and makes a mess of it, but eventually if each are sane enough (and humble enough!) they realise who is best at what.

That's when you get a good partnership going. Recognise the strengths and weaknesses and balance it accordingly.

I buy the property - hub earns the money.

I'm a lousy housekeeper - he does the washing up.

BUT THERE HAVE BEEN OCCASIONS WHEN

He's been at home, no work so - I earned the money

He managed house renovations - I did the washing up

etc etc

i agree with the butterfly...ur friend's case Cornellian is just one of the many cases you will come across u cant help it..its just the way it is..bottom line is just be happy if you and your husband have a mutual understanding and agree to not disagree about everything just coz u think women should be equal to men. Hmm all this typing making me hungry..who wants to be submissive now and fetch me a dinosaur?

Yeah u keep practicing on the drawing board cause that's the only chance u'll ever get to be the "big macho man" :P

I wasn't telling u to let her make ur decisions for u but let her be part of the decision making, and ultimately the decision is up to u when it comes to UR life, but some men even make decisions for their wives' lives too, which I find completely unfair. If u can make ur own decisions, so can she. Some guys fail to understand that...but then they get married...sleep on the couch a few times...get kicked out a few times...and then finally learn what equality is ;) lol.

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong :P - Garfield

So you're gunna lure her into thinking that her openion matters when it really doesnt? :S...here we go back to manipulation.

cos I have a tendency to screw when taking important decision and I trust my husbands judgement best. Thing is, he really takes my opinions seriously...so I have to remind him that his choices are probably best all the time. It's like when we are lost at crossroads and he asks me which one to take...I tell him, I would take the one on the right, so it's probably the other one.

So, how much equality in marriage? It really depends of the individuals and their expectations. Now seriously, I can't imagine anything worse than being treated as someone inferior by the person you love.

damn does it really show? i was practicing to be a dominating husband great back to the drawing board now :)i may not be married but yeah sure i'd listen to what she has to say about the car i want to buy...but in the end i'll just go and buy what i think I WANT. about her getting a better job somewhere else..i think i made myself clear about "who stopped caring about the money" sure i would go i'm not that dumb to leave an opportunity like that.

Oryx, I know people who say yes to their partners to avoid conflict and then end up doing what they want. I just find that silly, it's like dealing with a small child, a marriage like that would just suck cause there's no openness or sharing, it's just a big game.

As for smoke, I wonder if ur married, cause I doubt any woman would stand that type of thinking, it seems to me u don't care what ur wife thinks about what car to buy or where to live, as if she is only another possession. Marriage is about SHARING, that includes sharing decisions, yes u'll be driving the car but atleast take her opinion, make her feel like she's a part of ur life! So tell me what would u do if ur wife got a better job in another country with better pay and position and u hated that country and didn't want to move ?

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong :P - Garfield

ok so after that long surmon let me add my few thoughts...i feel the man and woman should be equal in a marriage. Now if the wife turns out to be a dumb twit then yeah sometimes the man has to take charge and take the important decisions and vice versa. Then again it depends on culture, i personally will not listen to what my wife thinks she wants in a car that i'm gonna be driving...taking ur example ;) then say about where to live..yeah sure...your husband is getting a better job, higher pay somewhere else...he has to move there to work...u dont like the country he's moving to...hmmmm lets see now...when did the world stop caring about the moolah?

This discussion has no end, women will always feel they want equality and men will always think they are superior...if only women were to think like this back in the stone age and get their butts out and hunt some dinosaurs we'd all be happy now wouldnt we???

a very traditional Qatari girl once told me she always did what her husband said....

i recoiled in horror - i knew her.... i couldnt imagine her being submissive - i enquired further and she said, 'oh i just talk to him until he agrees with me - so then i do what he says'

ha ha ha

i know a lot of guys who can't manage with submissive females... they find it boring.

there is a movement in the US whereby women agree to submit to the mans opinion and obey him

what ever....

if u r ever in that situation just say yes and go and do what you wanted to anyway.

This is when the marriage fails... because someone is trying to be above the other.. only if we follow the teachings, then we can look forward for a happy marriage.

Way to go thatguy! That's how it should be. Unfortunately some people out there still live in the stone age where "man go hunt, woman stay in cave".

BC, there shouldn't be submissiveness on either side because neither of them are superior. There should be COMPROMISE.

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong :P - Garfield

"Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and He is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband" (Ephesians 5:21-33).

Do you like Octopus?

LOL

The Red Pope of Qatar Living

Egomania goes with the territory of decoding your own genome.

Submissiveness is the trait of being willing to yield to the will of another person or a superior force.

But if he is telling you to do nasty things are you still gonna do it? Of course not..right? Being submissive will depend on the situation and the reasons behind it. We should analyze things and understand them before doing it, I hope you will understand my point..but if we will not see this thing every marriages will end up in divorce or annulment. Yes marriage is a matter of give and take, of listening more than the talking, compromising...etc.

Submissiveness does not mean being a martyr.

[img_assist|nid=48103|title=**** ****|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=98|height=98]

Without work, all life goes rotten. But when work is soulless, life stifles and dies.

- Albert Camus

well let me go ahead and burst some bubbles... if your in a marraige and its not mutual... END IT NOW BECAUSE ITS ONLY GOING TO END IN DISASTER...

this is also why about 50% of marriages in the states end in devorce...

when a women wants something in a relationship or just something for her self in general... and her husband says she has to work for it... thats wrong... and the same in the other direction...

if one spouse works and the other spouse stays home... this becomes difficult because some times the spouse that works feels he/she is in charge... but a marraige is not a dictatorship its a F*ing marriage...

and i will be the first to say that my wife works just as hard as me as a house wife... she deals with all the money and bills while i work... so to me she has a job... thats being a wife and mom so she gets to spend money just as much as i do... and gets just as much say as me...

anyone who thinks im less of a man because i call my wife to ask her if we got the money to do something is a sexiest pig and probably thanks the wife is a trophey anyway...

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just hanging out and watching dvd's with helen keller... kind of a quite night.

Of all your three ex-husband who was The good, The bad and The Ugly.

The Red Pope of Qatar Living

Egomania goes with the territory of decoding your own genome.

Then please clarify it for all us, what do u mean by the word "submissive" ? Cause I don't see anything but a negative meaning.

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong :P - Garfield

Ugh, I hate that "game" where u have to learn to manipulate eachother to get what u want, what kind of a marriage is that ?? Isn't marriage about being honest and straight forward with eachother, isn't is about compromise and respect ? Or am I living in my own fantasy land ?

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong :P - Garfield

be coollllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

Please read all my comments..being submissive does not mean that you will allow men to treat you in a bad way. Don't take the word submissive in the negative side..Girls please read..[img_assist|nid=48103|title=**** ****|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=98|height=98]

Without work, all life goes rotten. But when work is soulless, life stifles and dies.

- Albert Camus

I can the vien popping on DG's forehead lol. Women power! Woohoo! lol

I'm glad to have people who agree with me. It just pissed me off that some people STILL think that women are possessions or are less important than men. What upsets me more than men wanting to dominate are the women who allow them to.

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong :P - Garfield

oh and if some guy had been saying this to me, I would have laughed in his face and walked away.

tra la la

I really don't think it matters what culture the man and woman are from, some men will always be domineering and some will not. I know American, Mexican, Arab, and European men who are bossy like this, but I also know men from each of these cultures that are not.

I really think it depends on the couple, if the man is respectful then he will not be bossy. Personally, I think marriages are based on compromise from both sides. Neither the husband or wife should be making all the decisions.

I know that if my husband tried to boss me around and tell me what to do with the excuse that he is the man and he knows better there would be a HUGE storm in our household. We both seek out each others opinions and respect each others wishes.

tra la la

Noooooooooooooooooo...diamondgirl skydives into topic to speak up for women............

Submissive? Why? Buttercup...hello!!! Is that really OK with you?

Cornellian, I most strongly DISAGREE with what the person you were arguing about said. This need not be the case at all! Firstly one has to select one's partner very carefully. Who on earth would want someone always deciding everything. Ugh.

In a marriage I think that each one has his/her opinions that are equally valid. If a situation arises where there is a difference of opinion on what to do then the couple should discuss it and come to a compromise that both can be happy about. It is possible to do that.

And, eh, excuse me...if the woman works in the home that does NOT disqualify her from sharing in the decision making process. So all house wives are chopped liver because they work at home? C'mon!

Cornellian, it most certainly does not have to be the way the person said it to you. Even if others do that, YOU do not have to.

Climbs down from soapbox and turns off volume...

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Love is the answer...

Ok Cornellian I'm not really intelligent on this matter..I'm more on biblical things and I think we will not be able to understand everything if we ourselves will not be able to know the nature of man.

Men will always be from Mars and Women will always be from Venus..there is a big difference.We are totally different from them physically and mentally, I'm not saying that we are stupid or anything...just my personal comment.

[img_assist|nid=48103|title=**** ****|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=98|height=98]

Without work, all life goes rotten. But when work is soulless, life stifles and dies.

- Albert Camus

So what ur saying is that no matter what men will always dominate so we should just shut up and accept the fact cause that's what we're supposed to do ?

Tell me this, why should they dominate ? And give me a logical reason other than "this is what religion says".

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong :P - Garfield

It is God's order to us women and we are here to follow. Even if we turn the world upside down the idea of man being dominant will stay...it has been like that since the world began.

[img_assist|nid=48103|title=**** ****|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=98|height=98]

Without work, all life goes rotten. But when work is soulless, life stifles and dies.

- Albert Camus

KH, that's not right either. I don't see why either should dominate and why either should care what society thinks. I wouldn't want people to think my hubby was the dominant one, even if he wasn't. Ugh...I hate all those fake shallow images people try to keep up just to satisfy society!

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong :P - Garfield

me too i see it as a matter of cultures.but in a good realtionship no one should dominate the other.we should be partners,working and walking hand in hand.i think it is easy to realize with respect and understanding and love.my man can advice me but the final desicion is mine and i will not allow him to take desicions for me because at least it is my life and i have to feel comfortable with the desicions i took.sometimes they may be wrong,ok,but nobody is perfect and so also the meaning of a husband may not be the right one in and for any ocasion,so the best thing is to talk,to listen and then decide together.

:-D

*Create your own destiny,fighting against your dark sides,raise your

spirituality.Every day is a new day.A new life.

Keep the faith!*

My Confession booth is open for all submersible comments...

The Red Pope of Qatar Living

Egomania goes with the territory of decoding your own genome.

You will be surprised. What is apparent is that the man dominates in the Arab society. But the reality is not like that.

Stupidly, men tend to show they are the dominant but behind the scenes you would notice that the woman is "steering" the man. She will be happy having him doing what she wants. He wil be happy showing the community that he is a "man". Funny :D

So the bible says that women should be submissive because men are superior ? What is ur definition of "submissive" ?

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong :P - Garfield

I'm just following what the bible is telling me..but if my man will tell me to jump..to kill myself or to accept all the abuse and maltreatment he's doing on me physically and emotionally, of course I will not be submiisive into him. Being submissive is also respect to your husband as God created Adam first.

[img_assist|nid=48103|title=**** ****|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=98|height=98]

Without work, all life goes rotten. But when work is soulless, life stifles and dies.

- Albert Camus

how logical and reasonable the offered opinions are, but they both have to confide and compromise to each other whatever big decision they have to make.

Cheers!

***

I don't like to commit myself between HEAVEN and HELL. You see I have friends in both places.

***

KH, yes each case is unique but I'm talking about the general ideology of society. In the Arab societies for example, a man in most cases is considered superior. Sad but true. I'm crossing my fingers that this ideology will change soon, for the sake of the coming generations.

I'm wondering how is it in other societies ? European ? Far East Asian ? Indian ? Northern American ? Anyone know ?

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong :P - Garfield

buttercupryle, why should we women be submissive ?? We are as intelligent, mature, and capable of making decisions as men, why should they be superior ?

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong :P - Garfield

Each and every couple is a case by itself.

What is told and what we see does not reflect the reality.

Unfortunately, among different cultures, each partner uses different "weapons" to dominate the other partner.

We have to note that when the partners/couple do not agree on an issue, one has to decide and have the other abide by the decision.

Afraid I have confused the issue more

As for my concern we women should be submissive but they should also hear our suggestions and comments. Listening is one of the important factors to maintain a healthy relationship, keep communication open.

And lastly we should share decisions in everything and consult our partner.

[img_assist|nid=48103|title=**** ****|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=98|height=98]

Without work, all life goes rotten. But when work is soulless, life stifles and dies.

- Albert Camus

Well Cornellian, let me tell u, it actually depends on the culture, relegion and such..etc. The wife must have the right to provide her personal opinion either good or bad, marriage is all about sharing, consulting each other,equality to think of it. I personally will only marry a guy who'd understand me and actually considers my opinions, decisions, thoughts..etc. Yet some people think not. i guess life isn't fair, i can tell u that..