Short stories

Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend and kills him.
Wife says "If you continue to behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends."

Small Boy wrote to Father Christmas," send me a brother"
Father Christmas wrote back, "SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"

Husband asks, "Do you know the meaning of WIFE??
"Without Information, Fighting Everytime"
Wife replies," No, it means, "With Idiot For Ever!!!"

Three Feelings:
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant and Panic is when both are pregnant.

Teacher: Do you know the importance of period?
Kid: Yes, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, my dad got a heart attack and our driver ran away.

Some women asked a man who was travelling with six children, are all these kids yours??
Man replies; No, I work in a condom factory and these are customer complaints.

Two men met while both where looking for their lost wives.
1st: What does yours look like?
2nd: She is 5"7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes.
What about yours?
1st: Forget mine. Let's find yours!!

A Son asks the difference between confidence and confidential.
Dad says, you are my son, I'm confident.
Your friend is also my son, that's confidential!

Mother to her teenage daughter: I think this is the right time we should talk about sex.
Daughter (excitingly): Sure mom! Tell me, what you want to know.