Facts about men

t_coffee_or_me
By t_coffee_or_me

1. Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
2. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and have bought jewelry.
3. Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.
4. Men are very confident people. My husband is so confident that when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates he can help his team. If the team is in trouble, he coaches the players from our living room, and if they're really in trouble, I have to get off the phone in case they call him.
5. Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
6. Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.
7. All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. I sleep with one under my pillow instead of a gun.
8. A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
9. All men hate to hear "We need to talk about our relationship." These seven words strike fear into the heart of even General Schwartzkopf.
10. Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
11. Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and nerdy
12. Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
13. Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say, "Oh, my God, I'm so embarrased. Get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo."
14. Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor, two inches from the door.
15. If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.
16. If you're dating a man who you think might be "Mr. Right" because he
o got older,
o got a new job, or
o visited a psychiatrist,
you are in for a nasty surprise. The cocoon-to-butterfly theory only works on cocoons and butterflies.
17. No man is charming all the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
18. When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
19. When four or more women get together, they talk about men.
20. Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice voluntarily.
21. Most women are introspective: "Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?" Most men are outrospective: "Did my team win? How's my car?"
22. If a man says, "I'll call you," and he doesn't, he didn't forget... he didn't lose your number... he didn't die. He just didn't want to call you.
23. Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, "Are we going to have sex again?" He said, "Yes, but not with each other."
24. Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem. "Get out" and "I never want to see you again" might sound like a challenge. If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying "I love you... I want to marry you... I want to have your children." Sometimes they leave skid marks.
25. Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with superheroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
26. Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause -- you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.
27. Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what's happened.

By coolquietman• 25 Sep 2007 21:25
coolquietman

my sentiments exactly!!!ROFL

do it right - the first time!

By Gypsy• 25 Sep 2007 19:59
Gypsy

Not provoking anyone, just shocked by the pettiness of some people on this site.

"I fight with love and I laugh with rage, you have to live light enough to see the humor and long enough to see some change." Ani Difranco

By coolquietman• 25 Sep 2007 19:54
coolquietman

you into ur provoking act again?

sorry dont have time for that.

plus 2 smart to fall for it too..lol

do it right - the first time!

By Gypsy• 25 Sep 2007 19:42
Gypsy

Well then that's pretty pathetic if you ask me. Just because you're too dense to participate in the conversations doesn't mean you have to poke fun at others.

"I fight with love and I laugh with rage, you have to live light enough to see the humor and long enough to see some change." Ani Difranco

By coolquietman• 25 Sep 2007 19:41
coolquietman

sorry gypsy an open public forum is the place!!! better than talking behind your back via pm's or whatever. those comments were probably meant to be heard.

do it right - the first time!

By Gypsy• 25 Sep 2007 19:34
Gypsy

I don't mind slumming either, but I'm not going to slam the people who like to talk about something a little more serious. An open public forum is really not the place to be talking behind someones back. :P

"I fight with love and I laugh with rage, you have to live light enough to see the humor and long enough to see some change." Ani Difranco

By coolquietman• 25 Sep 2007 19:33
coolquietman

gypsy try sudoku...its really stimulating!

plus you keep the bp down

do it right - the first time!

By Gypsy• 25 Sep 2007 19:26
Gypsy

I'm sorry, what is pathetic about arguing about the existence of God? Sorry some of us need more mental stimulation then jokes and chat about lesbians.

"I fight with love and I laugh with rage, you have to live light enough to see the humor and long enough to see some change." Ani Difranco

By Hummers_rock• 25 Sep 2007 18:25
Hummers_rock

Yeah good to see you here DaRuDe...now go sit in the corner like a good little boy :p

'Our freedom is but a light that breaks through from another world'

By t_coffee_or_me• 25 Sep 2007 18:11
t_coffee_or_me

good to see u here

If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.

By DaRuDe• 25 Sep 2007 18:09
DaRuDe

Girls Gay??? i really like an explanation here.

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By t_coffee_or_me• 25 Sep 2007 17:35
t_coffee_or_me

i would luv to get lesson from hummer 1 to 1

If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.

By ksarat16• 25 Sep 2007 17:34
ksarat16

All the 3 fof u be good dont get into unwanted action here...and take care have a wonderful evening...jurassic the lost world...ofcourse it is back doc...with the evolution of ladies...anyways dont want to get into that...

See ya all and have a great time Hummer...CQ...Monty..

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" Live Life To The Fullest ! Enjoy Yourself "

By coolquietman• 25 Sep 2007 17:30
coolquietman

i thought lesbos went out of fashion with the dinos.....but i guess jurassic park came back so why not them too...lol

loldo it right - the first time!

By Hummers_rock• 25 Sep 2007 17:29
Hummers_rock

noooo...gay being lesbian...sorry next time I'll explain it better...now, does anyone want a lesson?

'Our freedom is but a light that breaks through from another world'

By t_coffee_or_me• 25 Sep 2007 17:27
t_coffee_or_me

lesbians i have heard hehehehhe but being gay do u mean they r merry

If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.

By Hummers_rock• 25 Sep 2007 17:25
Hummers_rock

umm...lesbians...u never heard of women being gay?

'Our freedom is but a light that breaks through from another world'

By t_coffee_or_me• 25 Sep 2007 17:22
t_coffee_or_me

how can gals be gay?????????????????

If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.

By ksarat16• 25 Sep 2007 17:21
ksarat16

Hey Monty....jus dropped by to check how r the ladies and the naughty boys...mixing it up...LOL

Hummer..o come on mate...u lured us into teling u the info and now u backing away from Dinner...ya right too busy...facials and massages evryday...how can u be having those every day buddy...dont u get tired...o i m sorry...u mentioned that u r tired, well and delusional....ya right...

----------------------------------------------

" Live Life To The Fullest ! Enjoy Yourself "

By Hummers_rock• 25 Sep 2007 17:20
Hummers_rock

And u men wonder why so many girls are gay..lol

'Our freedom is but a light that breaks through from another world'

By coolquietman• 25 Sep 2007 17:19
coolquietman

ks tx for greeting mate

einstein said" if you act like crap , look like crap and talk like crap....then there s no doubt..you are crap.....lol

well perhaps he didnt say it exactly that way but u get the idea..lol

do it right - the first time!

By t_coffee_or_me• 25 Sep 2007 17:19
t_coffee_or_me

men cook only when they invite their gals over for a romantic dinner

If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.

By Hummers_rock• 25 Sep 2007 17:17
Hummers_rock

I decided that it's a man place to cook...we woman are busy enough having to get facials and massages everyday! So get to it :p

I'm well, tired, delusional, but well!

'Our freedom is but a light that breaks through from another world'

By t_coffee_or_me• 25 Sep 2007 17:15
t_coffee_or_me

welcome back

If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.

By ksarat16• 25 Sep 2007 17:14
ksarat16

O man i read ur lines that 2 ppl are at it in another post...i went to the other and they are talkin crap man...sheesh...i just dont understand how can anyone talk bout the existance of GOD ... absolutely pathetic...

so how r u Doc..hows things going...

Hey there Hummer...how r u doin...hey where is that god-damn dinner u promised for that griddle...o u mean girl....cook some dinner matey...

----------------------------------------------

" Live Life To The Fullest ! Enjoy Yourself "

By Hummers_rock• 25 Sep 2007 17:12
Hummers_rock

Yeah, I crossed that path years ago...no going back for me!....how about you?

'Our freedom is but a light that breaks through from another world'

By coolquietman• 25 Sep 2007 17:10
coolquietman

you ve been in the dark side hummer! may the force be with you!!

do it right - the first time!

By t_coffee_or_me• 25 Sep 2007 17:08
t_coffee_or_me

The second question which needs to be addressed is, of course, how much you are able to spend. This is largely determined by your physical and personal characteristics--if you are good looking, have a commanding personality and a good sense of humor, you will have the resources to obtain a fancy, high-end model. On the other hand, if you are ugly, smell bad, and wear polyester clothes, your choices are more limited. Keep your purchasing power in mind when considering your selection. Although the salesman will tell you that a girlfriend can be financed, CU does not recommend this practice; due to inflating expectations, the required monetary outlay will actually *increase* with time.

If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.

By Hummers_rock• 25 Sep 2007 17:04
Hummers_rock

lol....oh, those people must have been wrong about you.

'Our freedom is but a light that breaks through from another world'

By t_coffee_or_me• 25 Sep 2007 17:03
t_coffee_or_me

As in a car or a computer, you should ask yourself what you need a girlfriend for before obtaining one. This will, in large part, dictate the final product which you should consider. Do you want an intellectual companion? A baby factory? A hiking partner? Or just lots of good, old-fashioned sex? Identifying your needs is the first, and most important, step in selecting a girlfriend.

If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.

By coolquietman• 25 Sep 2007 17:02
coolquietman

tcom whats there to be sad about? i m loving it....

no hummer i dont like to cause trouble but like any bollywood movie i do like my daily dose of masala...lol

loldo it right - the first time!

By t_coffee_or_me• 25 Sep 2007 16:57
t_coffee_or_me

so sad about those 2 they way they r going at each other ...

If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.

By Hummers_rock• 25 Sep 2007 16:57
Hummers_rock

So why don't you join in coolquietman?....you like causing trouble, don't you?

'Our freedom is but a light that breaks through from another world'

By coolquietman• 25 Sep 2007 16:53
coolquietman

tcom they r doing what they do best

lol

there are 2 of them in another forum going hammer and tongs at each other

do it right - the first time!

By Hummers_rock• 25 Sep 2007 16:53
Hummers_rock

I read that ages ago..it's an article from the 50's!

And they wondered why so many woman had affairs!

'Our freedom is but a light that breaks through from another world'

By t_coffee_or_me• 25 Sep 2007 16:47
t_coffee_or_me

way to go dude...

waiting for reactions from the ladies ... r they all sleeping

If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.

By coolquietman• 25 Sep 2007 16:46
coolquietman

tcom

you might need a robot...lol jk

do it right - the first time!

By t_coffee_or_me• 25 Sep 2007 16:44
t_coffee_or_me

Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal - on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him, and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with alot of work- weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.

Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

Minimize the noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.

Some Dont's: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he's late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.

Make him comfortable: Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.

Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.

The goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can relax.

If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.

By Hummers_rock• 25 Sep 2007 15:53
Hummers_rock

ahhh no

'Our freedom is but a light that breaks through from another world'

By t_coffee_or_me• 25 Sep 2007 15:51
t_coffee_or_me

was that a pun

If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.

By Hummers_rock• 25 Sep 2007 15:48
Hummers_rock

That was a joke right?

'Our freedom is but a light that breaks through from another world'=o

By t_coffee_or_me• 25 Sep 2007 15:48
t_coffee_or_me

If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.

By Amigo66• 25 Sep 2007 15:46
Amigo66

but they have no hang ups unlike women.

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