May-December (Age-Gap) Relationships, still taboo?

azilana7037
By azilana7037

Definition: refers to a romantic pairing where one person is significantly older than the other. The age difference is at least a decade, but often more. The phrase comes from the younger person being in the "spring" of his or her life (i.e., May), while the older partner is in his or her "winter" (i.e., December).
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Back in the 80’s, couples in this kind of relationships were frowned upon. The terms gold-digger / boy-toy kind of relationships, the ever know-it-all people rampantly tagged this type of relationships.

In the 90’s, Hollywood has lots of them. Most famous are the Ashton-Demi nuptials, and everyone joined the bandwagon. But still a very controversial topic among the conservatives.

Correct me if I'm wrong but as what I know about relationships, it initially develops because of the individuals involved. The way I see it, many problems with age difference comes from others who lack the information and blindly push their personal bias onto others.

Nowadays, still there are people who see it as abnormal. They see older men with younger women, conclusion: the women are sluts/gold-diggers. When it’s a younger men with older women, conclusion: he’s just after the sex/money, the woman is still a branded as a slut.

Come to think of it, most women don’t stop shopping for clothes and make-up based on their age, majority of the men purchase a car on what is acceptable or not acceptable according to their age bracket.

So, why is it so important (age-gap) to consider in a relationship?

By Gypsy• 18 Apr 2007 08:40
Gypsy

Darn looks like Super 7... I mean businessman...I mean Sandie beat me here. Way to ruin a decent conversation dude.

My two cents. LIke any relationship that isn't a heterosexual relatioship between two people of the same race, same age, and same "social status" (whatever that means) people are going to have negative opinions. The reason for this (besides racism, which in some cases I believe plays a part for bigots like Sandie :P) is because the sterotypes are easier to spot than the other ones. You don't really notice the loving couple who are 13 or 20 years apart in age doing their shopping at Carrefour, but you do notice the blonde bombshell with the 70 year old sugar daddy or the 60 year old woman with the gorgeous 20 something Arab husband who lives on your compound and chases all the young single gals around. The fake relationships are the easy ones to spot and lead to generalizations and sterotypes, the real ones just blend in.

I feel your scorn and I accept it-Jon Stewart

By Cornellian• 18 Apr 2007 01:06
Cornellian

that was a good ending!

By azilana7037• 18 Apr 2007 00:45
azilana7037

gave me the creeps...

By Cornellian• 18 Apr 2007 00:41
Cornellian

OMG DID U JUST SEE HOW HE KILLED HER ??

By Cornellian• 18 Apr 2007 00:40
Cornellian

yeah it is but can be kinda scary if ur watching it alone and in the dark !

By azilana7037• 18 Apr 2007 00:17
azilana7037

Valentine's on MBC2...nice movie

;-)

By azilana7037• 18 Apr 2007 00:16
azilana7037

If you think I am trying so hard to sound so sophisticated, what makes you think so? I'm just one of those average individual in Qatar,DECENTLY working herself to the bones to provide for the family back home.

I emphatize with what you feel about these women who cheapen themselves because of money. How do you think I feel, being Filipina myself moving in the same society they are in.

I admire you're being feisty over the issue but the topic is not about these women and money. It's about relationships, totally different...

Let's discuss this in another forum topic, shall we? Soon?

By Cornellian• 18 Apr 2007 00:09
Cornellian

Yep I'm here, watching a movie on channel 2 called "Valentine", it's a horror movie...it's good so far :)

By anonymous• 18 Apr 2007 00:09
anonymous

Hi sandie thats great some sort of respite....

What exactly is your point? Can u clarify

By e46M3• 18 Apr 2007 00:00
e46M3

Cornellian, you around?

By anonymous• 17 Apr 2007 23:57
anonymous

Actually I'm upset when women cheapen themselves so much for money, which is what many, and not all, Filipinas in Doha do.

Read the previous topic and you'll know no Filipina can steal my BF. I wouldn't consort with such lowly types.

And you don't need to try so hard to sound so sophisticated.

By azilana7037• 17 Apr 2007 23:50
azilana7037

I do want to help you out and I already have some prospects for you. However, I am not sure whom I would be blind dating my friends with, you or cutesrk, watwat, silver spear...you got to help me here.

Kidding aside, I don't even know who you are? send me a PM so I would know if you're seriously looking for a gF or you just wanna get laid. My clique is not the rowdy type and they're decent. No hanky-panky involved.

By azilana7037• 17 Apr 2007 23:43
azilana7037

It’s not strange to think she/he is younger than their SIGNIFICANT OTHER, there would be an ulterior motive behind it. It’s not unlikely they walk down the street and constantly remind themselves of the age difference. Unless people bring the subject up, it wouldn’t be thought about. Or it should be until someone makes a big deal about it.

By anonymous• 17 Apr 2007 23:42
anonymous

Ooh azilana u assumed it wrongly, there are several such distressed cases too, and as for a date u didnt help me out with one and moreover i cant find any gal out here who is single too..

By azilana7037• 17 Apr 2007 23:34
azilana7037

I think you need to go back to school and learn to READ. The topic is not applicable for people who have undergone LOBOTOMY as their COGNITIVE/COMPREHENSION FACULTIES have been removed surgically.

Sandie, you're really upset with the Filipinas? Your boyfriend left you for one? Whatever you post that is irrelevant / contradicting to the topic only proves what you are...but I won't even bother to say it. Obviously, you got educated at the wrong place by the wrong people. I won't even stoop down to your level...

Sputnik, these old men you were referring to can have girlfriends. Why can't you (young as you are) get one even just a harmless date?

Both of you, see a psychiatrist..all you think is sex-related issues

By anonymous• 17 Apr 2007 23:28
anonymous

Look around you. Who are the escorts for the older-unattached-or married but family's not with them Western men? Inevitably it's Filipinas.

Go to the Mega Mart at the Center and do a count. Or to Friday's. Or just about anywhere in Doha. See for yourselves and stop accusing me of racism. I am merely describing the situation as it is and relating what these guys brag of in my presence and that of other Western women. They seem to feel it increases their sexual potency. Lethal stuff, huh?

Truth hurts?

By King Edshel• 17 Apr 2007 23:22
King Edshel

What the hell was that comment for? I did not find a better start for this thread. Please don't generalize and if you see something bad from some people, you would be seeing a lot of good things in these people. This behavior is not limited or something special for some nationalities and not the others. Bad habits and deeds does not know religion, nationality or gender. If there were no bad people, we won't find the concept of bad people. If there is no heaven then there is no earth. If there is fire, so why there is water? Everything was there for a reason, but there is no reason for such posts.

Let's keep all of these bad posts and ideas away and let us all be friends here. I don't know what is the number of this open invitation for all of Q.L Members to be brothers and sisters, helping each other without hurting or insulting each other. It seems that no matter what I say, there would be always someone that should come up with something to start up something here. Someone who starts the fire and let other people trying to put it out with gas.

Best Regards

By anonymous• 17 Apr 2007 23:13
anonymous

I guess guys who are old and flock for youth are either sexually distressed or unable to control their temptations...

By Cornellian• 17 Apr 2007 23:11
Cornellian

What the hell was that comment for ? just to bash at others and start a racist fight ? grow up please. I'm not even going to bother in responding to it.

By anonymous• 17 Apr 2007 23:06
anonymous

There's absolutely no problem with this in normal loving relationships. I guess it might even be ok in the case of the gold-digging Filipinas in Doha who are basically hired by the Western men for their pleasure. I suppose it's mutually beneficient; the guys get their rocks off and when they're done pass these pleasure machines to their friends with recommendations, tales and even pictures (yes, they talk about it even to their country-women!)and the girls make a tidy sum or get their shopping taken care of for a while.

Then they go their own way and look for the next conquest/treasure chest.

By Cornellian• 17 Apr 2007 22:31
Cornellian

I think age would be the least of barriers, I mean if u get along great and u guys are happy then age doesn't make the slighest difference.

By azilana7037• 17 Apr 2007 22:18
azilana7037

It's no problem...cheers

By finlyn• 17 Apr 2007 22:06
finlyn

Good for you too...im sorry i misunderstood the topic.I read it again...Sorry!

By Privet• 17 Apr 2007 22:05
Privet

I agree completely. I'll let you ladies get on now!

By azilana7037• 17 Apr 2007 22:03
azilana7037

Congratulations as well. I'm happy to meet people like you who are happily married /together with their partners despite the odds.

That's why i like QL a lot because I meet people even within the confines of my room...rofl. And, various topics could be discussed openly, except for some interjections of trolls, of course..lol.

Dearie, I am never a judgemental person. I always give people "the benefit of the doubt" so to speak. Sometimes, I'm way too trusting to a fault.

My guy's 13 years my senior and he may not be a Prince Charming but he accepted me for who and what I am (faults, flaws, moles and all). We may be apart most of the time because of our jobs but we try to cope. Understanding, trust, honesty...that what makes it works for us.

By finlyn• 17 Apr 2007 22:02
finlyn

Ok.

By Privet• 17 Apr 2007 21:49
Privet

Fynlin, I don't think Azzy was judging anybody, you have misunderstood what she wrote, she is basically asking a question and as understood has no problem with those types of relationship, she is saying what you think, as long as two people are in love, then what else matters, and I agree - sort of.

Privet!

By Privet• 17 Apr 2007 21:45
Privet

I suppose the bottom line is that those who think that way beleive that the younger or better physical looking person of the two people in the relationship can do better. And, if they settle for a lesser beautiful being then the reason must be money, but what about actually enjoying each others company, and being happy. Maybe that's overlooked too much considering the UK divorce rate!

Well those who actually think like could be all about vanity, a thought, have you seen the way the young women flock around some of the uglier footballers in the UK premier league, maybe they like their company!! I'm not quite sure.

Its a good subject,

Privet.

By finlyn• 17 Apr 2007 21:41
finlyn

I repect your openion but i hope you respect us as well.Not to judge us like your statement above..FIRST WE ARE ALL INDIVEDUALSIm married to my husband for almost 13 yrs.I was 23 then and he was 36.so there is a gap between us,,and to be honest with you...i have a very good husband that i cannot tread to anyones out there.We meet in New Zealand and fall in love After a year i moved to Finland to be with him although its very hard bec.2 languages i have to learn.but the fact that we are both in love..not bec. of his money.I have almost perfect husband...its very hard for me to explain here.i hope someday u come to finland and meet us....

I love him .bec.he understand me,taking care of me,love me uncondationaly,and most of all he is very family oriented man.although he is finns....age doenst really matter as long as you love and repect one another thats matter most.

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