Wish you all a happy week ahead. : )

Good Moring,

It is always good to start with some funny reading.

I know it is long but what to do yanni it is classic fun.
******
A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other.
Baburao, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice. "Father," he said, "I am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage."
His father replied, "Don't you love this girl?"
"Oh yes, very much," he said," but you see, I have very smelly feet, and I'm afraid that my fiancée will be put off by them."
"No problem," said dad, "all you have to do is wash your feet as often as possible, and always wear socks, even to bed." Well, to him this seemed a workable solution.
Anuradha , overcoming her fear, decided to take her problem up with her mom." Mom," she said, "When I wake up in the morning my breath is truly awful."
"Honey," her mother consoled, "everyone has bad breath in the morning."
"No, you don't understand,. My morning breath is so bad, I'm afraid that my fiancée will not want to sleep in the same room with me."
Her mother said simply, "Try this. In the morning, get straight out of bed, and head for the kitchen and make breakfast. While the family is busy eating, move on to the bathroom and brush your teeth. The key is, not to say a word until you've brushed your teeth."
"I shouldn't say good morning or anything?" the daughter asked.
"Not a word," her mother affirmed.
"Well, it's certainly worth a try," she thought.
The loving couple was finally married. Not forgetting the advice each had received, he with his perpetual socks and she with her morning silence, they managed quite well. That is, until about six months later.
Shortly before dawn one morning, Baburao wakes with a start to find that one of his socks had come off. Fearful of the consequences, he frantically searches the bed. This, of course, wakes his Anuradha and without thinking, she asks, "What on earth are you doing?"
"Oh, my God" he replies, "you've swallowed my sock!"
********
A police officer pulls over Lonius for speeding.
The officer says, ' I clocked you at 120 km/h, sir.'
Lonius says, ‘Einstein (Christ)!!, officer I had it on cruise control at 100, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.' Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'
As the officer writes out the ticket, Lonius looks over at his wife and growls, 'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?'
The wife smiles demurely and says, 'You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did'.
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, Lonius glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, 'Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'
The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine.'
Lonius says, 'Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket'
The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.'
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket Lonius turns to his wife and barks, 'WHY DON'T YOU shut the hell up?
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'
and she says…
'Only when he's drunk.'
***********
Brit and Rizks were neighbors, and relations between them were strained at the best of times.
Rizks owned a chicken of which he was justly proud.
Every morning Rizks would walk to the shed at the bottom of his garden, and every morning, without fail, the chicken had laid a single egg.
And every morning Rizks would eat the egg for breakfast.
One morning however, the chicken had jumped the fence, and laid her egg in Brit's garden.
It was early, and so Rizks decided to climb over the fence and retrieve "HIS" egg.
Just as he was taking the egg, Brit caught him in the act.
Brit said "Put MY egg back".
Rizks said "It's my egg, my chicken laid it" but Brit claimed she laid it in my garden.

A heated argument developed.
To resolve the dispute, Rizks proposed the ancient Highland Bollock Kicking contest. The rules were simple.
First Rizks would kick Brit in the groin, as hard as he could.
He would then time Brit's rate of recovery.
Brit would then take his turn.
Whoever recovered in the shortest time would run out the winner of the Auld Highland Bollock Kicking Contest.
Brit agreed to this barbaric method of settling their dispute, and each man went home to prepare themselves for the event, each pulling on their heaviest pair of boots.
Brit braced himself and Rizks ran up and took a mighty sweep and caught Brit squarely between the legs.
Brit clutched his groin, and fell to the ground in agony, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Rizks timed the rate of recovery.
A full 21 minutes it took.
Brit stood up, and regaining his composure said "Right you baldy rotten cream bun, it's my turn. Brace yourself".
Rizks said Ach!!!…if it means that much to you, you can keep the egg"
*********
P.S. All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
**********
Question of the day:-