Women roles still defined by men

If a married couple is using who makes who tea, then the marriage is already a lost cause.

Hard days work!!!!!....Being on QL all 8 hrs while at work is hard days work??????...Tell that to ur hubby's and B/F's...no one is taking that here, not from some of you.

I used to always argue with my mom as a teenager when I used to live at home. She said its better to be active around the house cleaning up the place than to go to a gym or cycling or a gym or yoga.. I used to tell her the same that I would rather keep a maid to do that while I slog myself at the gym or swimming pool or tennis or anything than to scrub toilets or mop the floor or do dishes and iron clothes.. Even now that I live on my own, I bring a cleaner to clean up my place twice a week.. You are totally right MM, who likes to scrub toilts after a hard day's work..

How is saying I prefer a bike ride taking a dig at you? And how do I compartmentalize my life?

Cleaning the place isnt only scrubbing the toilets.. but since you compartmentalise you life and its activities, not surprising you picked only that out or was it a lame attempt to take a dig at me and feel superior about yourself.

I prefer to go for a walk or a bike ride to scrubbing a toilet. Find it's a better family activity.

I dont find any problem in cleaning my place...in fact it is the in thing when talking of fitness these days and is strongly recommended as part of exercise to keep oneself fit specially on weekends when people tend to be less active....:)

I’ll dig she’ll clean

Who WANTS to clean? No one. Which is why, if you can't afford a maid, you both need to share the responsibility.

Coming from women on this thread, it more of sounds like they arent happy doing things themselves but are happy if it is done by the partner....:)

It's not about who does what and when. It's about both doing what they are happy with.

ha ha ha i know someone like that even from UK guy.They are both working then when they got home the hubby was dancing all the home chores while the wifey sitting facing computer and updating facebook, lol

Yeah I am truly happy and blessed. God has been very kind to me. John is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I really can't thank God enough.. So are you still coming to the wedding in July?

I really feel pity for some husbands.. (:

Your relationship reminds me of that with my Cuban Shotputter. I used to make her breakfast in bed. I'm sure you will be very happy together ..

Miss Mimi, you're really amazing. :)

They should find a maid, not a wife. Who needs them?

I would never imagine my mom ever telling my dad honey please make me a cup of tea or coffee or can you prepare breakfast or lunch or whatever or can you do the laundry or something like that. I guess the fact that she is a full time housewife also plays a major factor but when it comes to both partners working, I think its only fair that the responsibilties be shared equally between them. My fiance always prepares breakfast for me on weekends and serves it on the table while I sit and read newspaper or watch tv.. But then I make him his favorite English roast beef with yorkshire pudding or meatloaf with roasted potatoes or chicken parmesan or any of his favorite dishes for lunch on weekends. So it goes both ways that is why we are so happy together.. Touchwood..

"Quite amusing isnt it living with someone with such rules waiting on him for his turn to do his part."

You mean quite amusing to be a woman with everyone expecting you to do everything?

MM...so if he doesnt pour the next glass of wine the party is over, right. And then sleep with back towards each other. Quite amusing isnt it living with someone with such rules waiting on him for his turn to do his part.

Say I as man cooked today and then we went on vacation tonight for a month. Should I record it in a diary that the wife would cook on return the first day and vice versa. (I may forget you know and may end up doing it the second time without she doing her part)

BTW do woman agree to draw the chair too at a resto for their man or is it for the man to do it everytime. Or is their a record keeping for it too. Does this then applied to all all aspects of life. How about sex... guess if a man doesnt want it, it cannot happen (I wud refrain from going into the nitty gritty of it). So how does a woman make up for it the next day or the second time.

I don't know any women who want to sit around and let the men do everything, but I know plenty of women who want their men to do something.

Marriage should be a partnership. And women have the right to choose if they want to pursue a career or stay home. They shouldn't be expected to do things purely because they're women.

Missmimi … same is applicable for men..who need a women who don’t take care of him or the kids? I don’t think a husband is required only to have kids... if that is the reason you can go to a IVF clinic.

A relation will be successful only if their is mutual respect between the partners..not that one person dominates and other obey….. Women want all privileges because they are women (why the difference when they think both partners are equal?) and men are not given any privileges. If you expect your husband to cook, you are also expected to cook once in a while. There is no chore which is defined only for Women or only for Men..If you expect him to do the laundry..you need to other chores. I have seen few women..who want their husband to cook..but when its her turn its always take away.. that’s very unfair.

If my husband got a very busy job and he comes home late.. I don’t expect him to do any work..all he needs is some quiet time with family and relax.. and obviously they don’t want to spend it in kitchen. Its not who does more work.. its if the work is done or not…

Bottom line is mutual understanding… some women like OP got some mindset that all men dominates so they act rebellious from the beginning.

Women rights are Non-Existence in the Arab World.

In most Arab cultures, women are useful for tow thing only.

1-sex

2-kitchen

Well we don't have evening tea happygolucky, but generally if were say, having a glass of wine in the evening, we trade off. If I pour one glass, he pours the next.

Marriages are equal partnerships.

I usually cook, because I love to cook, but right now my morning sickness is bad in the evenings so I can't stand the smell of cooking food, so my husband makes dinner for himself and our son. He usually does that once or twice a week anyway.

It's about partnership.

This is an interesting topic , after going through all your comments I couldn't help but add mine , and ill do so from my own point of view. Firstly marriage is about understanding , compartiblity , love . This marriage issue solely depends on your personal motive before venturing into the institution , in africa, it is mandatory that a woman should cook and do other chores , raise the kids , whereas your a career lady a nanny can take up d job BUT still under d strict supervision of the wife . I personally desire a long lasting marriage God willing , and if I love my husband (for which I won't marry except I am in love ) doing my own job in the marriage should gladen my heart! There aint no slavery in it . Although the man too ought to play his role as my Husband , but career or no career I can not leave my husband and kids hungry nor in an unhealthy environment . If not for the increasing demand for finance to live a good life why would I want a nanny to raise my kids??? There is a saying that goes if you want a job done well Do it yourself. You aint sure of the knowledge , character your kids emulate from your maids , nor neither is this close bond between a child and the mother if that child isn't solely raised by the mother. A matrimonial home is like a farm , and women are the farmers, if the farmer does not tend to her crops dey either die or grow unhealthy.

Well said :0)

OP is about a blog where men are doing the talking about women. The posts here from women can be considered as women talking about men. Arent the women defining the role of men here. How are the two different or is it just fashionable to jump on men (by women) on the slightest pretext. Duh!!! The usual QL...women have all the rights and men are bl**dy door mats....and then men are also obligated to throw all respect to even undeserving women cos she is a women. Isnt it funny while women find it alright that a man should be making the evening tea but if a man expects the same from a women all tsunami gets unleashed on that man. Funny people, I mean women.

I wonder what the take is on this story ...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2281669/Slimmers-revenge-Woman-dumped-altar-stuns-fiance-losing-SEVEN-stone-year.html

To the OP--can you send a link to the blog?

The same will happen in this region and South East Asia.. Change is slow.

nice topic now go make me a sandwich

I wish you good luck but the type of men you are talking about have problems after marriage....still a long path have to be walked...so dont blame your past or the people you had so far.

I have dated a number of such morons in the past who actually thought a woman's place is at home and she is supposed to do this and that but now thank goodness, I am with a very liberal and open minded British man who believes that husband and wife are equals and a wife is definitely not a slave. I am really blessed, touchwood..

Let's just assume, for a 1 second, that it's acceptable for a man to say that it's a woman's role to be the 'homemaker'.

If you accept that, don't you also have to accept that it's the husband's role to go out and EARN a living by WORKING?

There are plenty of men in this country that I know who manage to have money without needing to work for it. They can spend their days at leisure, not lifting a finger, while the bank balance magically stays topped up.

So if a woman wants to hire maids and nannies and cooks, isn't this equivalent?

Isn't it a double standard to still expect women to do "women's work", when men aren't doing "men's work"?

if u are my wife and u are doing succh a thing meaning can.t cook or do any work as a woman that mean it will be pending in ower marrage and secondly it from the hands that that person give to the woman too that can make her to do such a thing thank

Maybe in this part of the world Brit. I know in North East Asia women and men are simply refusing to marry each other. I wonder which gender will cave first?

on what they deem is required in a marriage.And I would say when it comes to marriage both the husband and wife have duties to be fulfilled.. Period. Likewise everyone has their own reason to marry, and expectations from a spouse. IMO if you made clear your intentions and expectations to the one you were to marry, and he/she agreed then such issues should not arise.

When it comes to marital disputes and issues you will obviously here contrasting stories from the husbands and wives, but at the end of the day if one or both spouses are not fulfilling their duties and are not giving the other what they need and want from the marriage, then the marriage is obviously going to suffer.

Yes in conservative societies often women are told to be patient with her spouse's faults while a man seems to take a whole new approach either threatening to divorce or remarry which is wrong!

In truth divorce is always an option but should not simply be used at whim. Steps must first be taken to try and mend the marriage by both spouses, and anyone acting as peace maker and adviser should do their part in advising both sides to fix their faults with fairness, rather than only concentrating on the faults of one spouse and ignoring the other. Failing which then they should both have the freedom to opt out.

In truth, regardless of how others may define it, we all have our individual and unique rolls to play in all aspects of life including marriage.

Having lived and worked in quite a few countries. what you say , in my opinion is till the minority , rather than the norm.

Things are changing - albeit slowly.

I agree landoverreview, it's up to both husband and wife to make the home a happy home.

Miss Mimi I can confirm that in a successful marriage one person is always right, the other one is called the Husband!

Its a different scenario if hubby treats his wife as slave..The words "I DO" is not just to have kids and move on...both hubby and wifey has to share their works to make a happy family.. which of course is not slavery..it is an art of good home making.

Agree with NM! Women define their own roles, men can either adapt or cry alone by themselves. ;)

Well I will conclude that to each its own I suppose. I suppose culture or lack of plays a role.

A woman's role is defined by men? Only if women listen....;) And less and less do...:)

ur right Brit lot of men feel that way including some of the old Qlers...........:)

They can have a father. But I don't need to live with him if he treats me like a slave and expects me to wait on him hand and foot.

Your kids needs a father...may be you dont need men.

Absolute Rubbish Lucky-gal. The responsibility for creating a good atmosphere at home lies in the hands of both people in the relationship. If it doesn't than your husband is using and abusing you.

Is it just qatari men who feel this way ? I don't think so..

Miss mimi, I'm not saying stay at home, I'm sayin most of the responsibility in creating a good atmosphere at home depends on women. Yes men can go make their tea, do laundry, baby sit, cook, clean, hire helpers etc. but I'm sure more responsibility is with women.

Yes the love is lost once you have kids, O I mean divided..:)

Yup UK, I do have a nanny. She works 8 hours a day while I'm at work. DH and I take care of our son otherwise.

blablabla, why couldn't I say that to my husband? If he suddenly turned into a selfish twat I'd tell it to him right away.

Once you've got the kids, who needs the men?

Not a bad idea Mimi. Men can say that too as the guy above you said. But, how will humanity advance? I think you can't say that to your husband or you truely represent the women in discussion?

Miss Mimi you forgot mention the Home maker I mean the Helper (maid) in the above ..:)

Sharing is caring...I will consider it as romantic moment if a man cooks for his wife or makes a cup of tea/coffee however wn life goes fast making a home a true heaven is possible only the whole family members share works and be a s a team.

Hmmm, If I look around I see my husband who loves and respects me and can make his own damn tea and do his own laundry, I see my son who loves me, and I do see pets, 5 kitties to be exact, AND I'm pregnant with number 2 AND I have an exciting career AND I'm doing my Masters Degree.

Homemaker what?

The primary role of any women is to be a homemaker...even if some are career women or others have better resources to hire a helper, whether we live in a democratic world or not. Men who want a woman who can be a homemaker are not stuck in the past, they understand their role and a role of women, yes he can help cook or baby sit but it's woman primary role(homemaker)

Miss Mimi, The maid will make the cup of Tea and do all the household work, plus keep the kids busy while the Qataris ladies are out shopping, beautifying themselves..:)

Tell them to make their own cup of tea and if they don't like it they can leave. Who needs them?