To The Rude and\or Mean Members ! ! ! ! !
I was watching the Oprah show the other day, she was talking about a book named "choosing civility" by Dr.Forni..
As I was watching the show, I thought about our online community here. It upsets me very much that many of our comments are aggressive and distasteful! And for what? So you were having a bad day so what.. Your mood will improve afterward, but guess what, your comments will still be there for years, the same way they will stay in the mind of the person you ATTACKED.
WE NEVER TOUCH PEOPLE SO LIGHTLY THAT WE DO NOT LEAVE A TRACE!!
( Peggy Tabor Millin )
Many times I came across posts where people are asking for curtain help or expressing some sincere emotions, and there come the comments asking them to have a life, mocking them, or simply totally ignoring them by hijacking the thread for their own purposes, how rude!
Did you know that being insensitive towards other members will make you sick, literally, I'm not even kidding!
The negative vibes you send come back to you and attack your immune system without you even knowing about it.
What I find funny is that some members are always complaining about rude encounters they go through in their lives, these very same members tend to make rude remarks online.. So what's the deal.. Isn't this life too; with real human beings of flesh and blood, facing their computer screens reading all the horrible things you say to them?
To all the rude members who think that they are better than all of us, YOU grow up, YOU get a life!! and stop bullying the other members who didn't do anything to you. This is sick and it will make YOU sick gradually..
Like the brick in the window incident...
Just looked like it came from the inside..
I still thought it was a robery...
My thoughts just came across wrong...
Way diff in words than when talking face to face...
You can't teach experience...
We should not be afraid to speak our mind, but we definitely need to chose our words, that's a big factor there.
Salam
Ok, enjoy the mindless threads. I just don't want to see you on any of mine.(joking, I barely post).
Salam
You can't teach experience...
yeah guilty, i mock all serious and non-serious topics. 1990 points and still going strong.
put simply, ignore my remarks if you're easily offended for i am the chosen one that stimulates the immorality.
the most important thing to me is that i can always have a beer with the ppl that i've met on QL.
NOW enough of the sentiments......back to poking fun at mindless topics!!!
QL Moderators have been busy deleting nonsense off of the face of this site to keep it clean and healthy!
I do hope the strange ads we see here and there are also demolished. They're irritating and cheap.
So Aisha, moderators also deleted the whole thread that originally disgusted us all about the CC tragedy.
Salam
Well said....I agree with you.I don't think that the rude posters know how it makes someone feel when they humiliate and poke fun at someones bad English or for asking a question that had already been posted before.You can check out Witch School.....
Although, sometimes Brit humour can be mistaken for being sarcy.....which it probably is but we can't help it!!
feelings and emotions.
One need to be responsible and talk sense when giving a piece of suggestion, advice or passing remarks.
I really like a few QLers who admit there mistakes quickly even though they have not been charged for.
I don't know, I might be guilty sometimes.
However, I have noticed that it is all about ones mood swing during the day.
Morning when I am quite fresh, i do respect everybody, as the day pass by, at end of the day, if I see some irritating question or forum, I blast. I become a different person, but Its me, very impulsive and spontaneous by nature.
I realise my mistake but late once the injury been done and then reconcile.
thank you, einstind :0)
Agree with tallg - "... worst case of rudeness, when a newbie is pounced upon for asking an innocent question, albeit a often repeated one. "
- If one has the time, point out where the newbie should look, otherwise ignore. When I first joined QL, all my questions were unanswered but luckily not pounced upon.
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Don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
Lol one of the ruder QLers........probably true......
So don't impose upon her or to others like her, things for you and for others are just "normal". Words really can do lots of damages..just like bullets piercing through you...but then..there are some who are well equipped with armor, hit them and will fire back at you ten folds.
"simple yet complicated"
"makamal a anak"
brin said - She said that after that, she left QL entirely and to this day will not log back on and tells everyone about it.
I've been saying from the day I joined QL that that must happen all the time. I think that is the worst case of rudeness, when a newbie is pounced upon for asking an innocent question, albeit a often repeated one.
I met a good friend of mine through QL and we joined within just a few weeks of each other. She mentioned that just as she was about to arrive in Doha (to relocate) she'd asked a question which obviously now she realizes was a bit redundant but was specific & important to her then. Especially, when you're just starting out relocating it can be daunting and you want a bit of reinforcement (which for me I was lucky enough to have thru here)... She said she started getting responses back "are you nuts?" "some people just dont have the brain matter to look something up on the search key in QL", etc. She said that after that, she left QL entirely and to this day will not log back on and tells everyone about it.
Its unfortunate .... for those of us that have that bit of experience now in Doha, we all started out a bit nerve-wracked and sometimes still are.... I see a lot of people go after others - usually newbies.
Lets all chill a bit.... this isn't the Alpha-male site... we're all in the big sandbox together so lets' not make it any more difficult.
Brin
it's was the perception where we differ. We think some are rude but others don't! For me, if you find somebody rude, tell him/her directly on same occasion so he/she knows of your perception and defend him/herself (if he/she wants to).
"dgoodrebel will always be the rebellious good one"
einstind - Using bad words and calling names aren't the only ways of being rude. Personally I think that Dora could be considered one of the ruder QLers. I personally have no problem with her rudeness, but just cos she doesn't swear doesn't mean she's not rude.
You are one of the matured members in QL.Dora the Explorer too.You give honest opinion but never use abusive language..This is my personal opinion.
But there are few people in QL who call people by names and use bad words in the public forum shamelessly.I think Aisha is referring to them.
Tallg:
1) Misunderstanding
My "to the point" way of commenting has come across as rude when it wasn't supposed to have, or my attempt at humour has been taken seriously.
2) Deserved
Some posted something stupid/rude/etc that deserved the response it got from me."
- Ditto -
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Mlasrado, agreed with your comment but with respect to your "I dont see a problem why you are getting so disturbed about other people's discussions?"
- She's just bringing this out in the open in the hopes that people would remember to be more compassionate when they speak because words can wound a person very deeply emotionally and cause untold damaging consequences - like that kid in Germany.
Anyway, for what it's worth, Aisha's post made me more aware of how I post. I am also very direct - and not just online but offline as well. Many people cannot take that kind of honesty because they have fragile egos and a lack of self awareness, some lack IQ and/or EQ. Offline, I will give "face" and avoid hurting people's feelings up to an extent. I should do the same online as well.
/Btw, the key words being "up to an extent"
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Don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
No one in this world counts their happiness, (Actually nobody else is really bothered abt one's happiness or wot made them happy). They all love to count the faults one made and certainly... been mean 2 others is kind of a 'in' thing now. Sad... people dont stop to know wot their happiness r....
have not read all the posts above but Aisha you are right. i repeat what you said in your post
'To all the rude members who think that they are better than all of us, YOU grow up, YOU get a life!! and stop bullying the other members who didn't do anything to you.'
at work, on my monitor, i have a post-it note with a quote that i would like to share with you all.
Be careful when you fight the monsters, lest you become one - Friedrich Nietzsche
the best by saying the worst. It the law of action and reaction. So, sometimes being rude is also a way to see the other side. What is uncompromising is that you are already trying to correct the rudeness and yet the concerned party continue to be one (or just trying to bring out the best of the best), who knows?
You can not be a complete saint if you are dealing with the ............... And there are a lot of them here. I think it's normal!
"dgoodrebel will always be the rebellious good one"
*Teah!* Eh????
Teah! Lets stop beating about the bush! Name and shame! Spit it out! Who?!!
Personally, I would take anything people say here with a pinch of salt really and not take anything to heart!................NAMES PLEASE!!
Problems are only solved through confrontation. Otherwise people will keep stepping on your toes.
I apologize n move on...Tallg is right...Let them know so they can learn...
You can't teach experience...
I reiterate my point - lots of you are agreeing with Aisha, but none of you are drawing the problem to the attention of the people you feel are rude. If you don't do that then this thread is pointless.
sometimes what needs to be said is not always what posters want to hear. this is a public forum where every member is entitled to speak their mind about the forum topic the OP had started. that's why it's called forum. this is not a feel-good group discussion.
of course, each member has the accountability to be civilized in speaking his mind, however harsh the honest answer may sound.
You think what your doing here is right, by blunting shouting at those people who (according to you) are rude, mean............
Aint you feeling sick?;)
Well said!I have seen that some people no matter what they are always rude.They say good things also in a rude way which makes the others feel so irritated and the goodness of the content is lost.
As somebody pointed out rightly,this is a community and we need to help each other in the right way.
Aisha, everyone has a view to express. In eyes of some, it is rude. For others, its right.
You should have an open mind and not take anything personally. After all, its a forum. The people here share their opinions, comments etc. And it should be taken in good spirit.
I dont see a problem why you are getting so disturbed about other people's discussions?
tallg I would say the same thing:- about the three points that you have listed.
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HE WHO DARES WINS
dmigty - if I have an issue with a QLer who I think is being rude I usually say so in the thread in question. But generally I don't have a problem with it.
If people think I'm rude or mean then that's fine, but I'd rather they told me than just creating threads like this. When people PM me about this I always respond and explain why I said what I did, and why I did it in the manner I did.
From the PMs I've had I find there are generally three cases where someone considers me rude or mean;
1) Misunderstanding
My "to the point" way of commenting has come across as rude when it wasn't supposed to have, or my (poor) attempt at humour has been taken seriously.
2) Deserved
Some posted something stupid/rude/etc that deserved the response it got from me.
3) Undeserved
I'm having a bad day and took it out on someone I shouldn't have.
Aisha...there are all kind of people here
some are always rude..
some are always mean..
Some think they are more intelligent than all
some think they can mock on all serious non serious topics..
Some think only they know the facts
Some try to impose their views on others..
Some want to argue on all possible topics..
Some are just silent readers
Some are posting nonsense threads
End of the day its up to us to choose who/what to reply and who/what to ignore..
There are some other people who are normally nice and provide genuine comments but at times act weird when provocated…. or when they get up on the wrong side of the bed..lol (Do I fall in that category?)
Tallg according to me ..you are the meanest and Darude is the Rudest..lol
for example, can you the honor to name a rude member, tallg? and why you think so? Is he a regular one or once in a blue moon rude guy/girl?
"dgoodrebel will always be the rebellious good one"
See the problem is, while the intentions behind this thread are good, it probably goes over the head of most of the people you're targeting with the message.
Why don't people stop beating about the bush and start listing the names of QLers who are rude and why?
Well said Aisha...
Life is Beautiful...Indeed!
Seriously, i understand personal attacks when your asking an innocent question, but harden up will ya!
Life is not all flowers and sunshine, if someone is being an idiot, call them up on it. Everyone has the right to say what they want, if someones being a moron and you point out that they are then that is all good.
I have grown up around and with people who constantly insult each other, it grows you a back bone. Making sure everyone is humiliated every once in a while keeps people human. Take life easy, and stop caring about what people think or say to you.
that the rudest, most arrogant, insulting and biggest *wat toboot has not said anything.
What I want to know is this, who stays and who goes?
It seems to me that 'certain' people are allowed to say what they like but another person can be less insulting and get punished.
Seems to me there is nepotism on QL.
Oh by the way, I am sure the person I am talking about will see this. If my screen name goes, I will have made my point lol.
My thoughts are my own, but I doubt my Mum would agree with some of them.
I will never be a garbage trucks.. I prefer to be an ice-cream car.. so even if they didn't buy and enjoy the taste of my ice-cream, they'll always enjoy the music of me passing by hehe
[img_assist|nid=7232|title=Dua|desc=Amen :-)|link=none|align=left|width=440|height=56]
Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment.
As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you.
Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.
The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day.
Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so..... “Love the people who treat you right. Forgive the ones who don't.”
Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!
katas ng qatar
debatable. There are obvious one but definitely there are legitimate one. It depends on the mode of what is being discussed! We know Qlers who are regular rude but that is still subjective. To each his own! Unless we break the rules of the community, everybody is entitled to his/her opinion!
"dgoodrebel will always be the rebellious good one"
but in your last paragraph of the main post, capitalizing the word "YOU", it seems (IMHO) you are as guilty as what you are pointing out?
"dgoodrebel will always be the rebellious good one"
arecel said "how true aisha. some people here remminds me of the saying: "tis better to appear the fool than to open one's mouth and erase all doubts"
- Lol!
Re: the city centre thread, I wish people would stop talking about "suicide". It's none of our business. And some friends confirmed it too. I didn't post on that thread further because I didn't want to add any unnecessary comments to a tragedy. Photos and videos, gosh.. that is so heartless! All in the name of bringing certain things to CC's management.
I'm all for bringing issues to management's notice but there's a time and place for everything.. on this train of thought.. which reminds me, I think I better edit my post now.
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Don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
keeping positivity is the key factor that we should always have to make thread a worth reading.
As others said, debate/ argument is the end of a healthy discussion.
if somebody posts and achievement, we should congratulate such achievement rather than posting nasty remarks. If you can not avoid such negative remark, silence is an option.
how true aisha. some people here remminds me of the saying: "tis better to appear the fool than to open one's mouth and erase all doubts" :-)
http://www.buhayqatar.com
mo lang!
I feel so relieved that many are in the same boat with me.. yay us!!
"Sometimes an opinion should be kept to self..."
Ah, I totally agree with you!! Just like in real life right!! We're adults, not children saying whatever comes into our minds...
[img_assist|nid=7232|title=Dua|desc=Amen :-)|link=none|align=left|width=440|height=56]
other member answer some other post without realizing what is the post mean,i know one here but no need to mentioned,and i hope your heart is clear for how many times you pray in 1 day my dear friend,just like this post aisha,what they post and comment is the root of some arguments and rudes answer.
Peace to you all!
ok i have to see that city center thread.. bet it was posted on a thursday or friday, hence the reason for me missing that one... checking..........
Sometimes an opinion should be kept to self...
I never say anything to hurt.
Just expressing opinion...
Opinion's are BS without fact..
So please forgive me...
J
You can't teach experience...
Some people keep yapping about basic “human” rights, one of which is “freedom of expression”, but they're totally oblivious of “human” considerations, which make us humans!
Amnesty Int’l set those HR standards to ensure equality and justice. We’ve been using these same standards to emphasize discrimination, incite hatred and mutilate the dead too!
With freedom, we‘re entitled to enjoy, comes responsibilities we must undertake!
Salam
The evil comments in the city center death thread are removed..so now I can talk about them! .. How insensitive of some members to not care about the kid's family and friend..
[img_assist|nid=7232|title=Dua|desc=Amen :-)|link=none|align=left|width=440|height=56]
its true most of the time at QL some of members just keep creating vibration, without thinking other feeling but its life, u cant escape from it...
that clear things up.
I hope the members stop being MEAN to each other.. I have our Community Guideline on my side, which is so cool :-) .. It says:
Do not create topics or posts that criticise, bully or insult other Qatar Living members, and do not flame (e.g. provoke other Qatar Living member into arguments) or impersonate other people. If you wish to make a complaint against another Qatar Living member, please use the "Report Abuse" form on the Contact page
Don’t post anything that could be perceived as illegal or offensive (i.e. racist, pornographic, sexist, obscene, profane, vulgar, derogatory, hateful or threatening).
Stay on topic and do not hijack threads or post off-topic comments. Start a new forum topic or send a private message if you are in doubt.
If you are not interested in a topic or think someone is asking a silly question, just move onto another post instead of insulting or mocking them.
Finally, think before you post! You are responsible for what you post so before you hit enter, ask yourself if this is something you would say to someone in real life.
[img_assist|nid=7232|title=Dua|desc=Amen :-)|link=none|align=left|width=440|height=56]
Well, spike124 - kudos to you then for being flexible enough to change your perspective. Glad you could see further after you calmed down a bit ;0)
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Don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
And to the lurkers who keep sending me PMs and sending text messages, making crank calls, etc. I'm not indifferent but you are creepy.
/Btw, I almost never give out my phone number so those crank calls and textes must either be random (unlikely yes?)or ... definitely not my friends.
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Don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
And the first comment I got from a post was so hurtful that made me a jerk so as to attack others just to make someone feel the way I felt...
But then I saw some good comments and I said to my self, better be on the positive side than to be someone known for being a "rebellious fool".
And Aisha you are making difference here...keep it up.
"simple yet complicated"
"makamal a anak"
Well, Aisha - considering the recent shooting in Germany - I think you're right in that being kind and compassionate is better than outwardly critical. The boy who felt he was not accepted by others lived in his own world and mind and it became warped and just went downhill from there.
However, it's quite a difficult situation in the sense that some people we know who are really kind and compassionate, make harsh statements to make some people sit up and take notice. To shake them out of their shell they have sitting behind the computer and not living in the real world. This is done not out of hate or nastiness but love and care - actually tough love, if you will. That is the genuine intention of our friends - we know because we know them personally.
This, of course is easily misunderstood by some of these lurkers, who cannot see further than their own circumstances. And because they have negative perceptions, they see every single thing in varying shades of black. These people need to get out more. You see the predicament?
Speaking our honest thoughts in the hope that they will change for the better - takes time and most of us are so very busy, we hardly have time to breathe. The alternative is just to keep silent. But isn't that indifference? The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. Then how?
Anyway, while honesty is the best policy but I agree that total honesty is brutality. I think we still need to say what needs to be said to help people but need to be more careful with HOW we say what needs to be said.
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Don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
Aisha! I'm totally agree with you....
Harsh words hurt a lot...
Soft words cost nothing...
But one's words reflect one's personality, aggressive and distasteful or courteous and pleasant!
Could you believe the nerve of those people?! Like, it makes me want to devour stuff!
Idiots.
Guilty as charged your honour.
I agree.
My thoughts are my own, but I doubt my Mum would agree with some of them.
some people made this site a venue of expressing their own mood for the day, so that whatever rude comments they gave left a lasting impression for those concern. I still believe respect begets respect.
"I do live by the motto that pessimists are usually right, but all the great change in history was done by optimists" -Thomas Friedman
I totally agree and know how u feel but really such creatures don not deserve a moment of thought.
regards
SPEED, she has a point. I haven't been here for a very long time, but in this short time I have read some horrendous remarks. Some people that post online don't have people in their life to vent to - and what do you do in return? Harass them and humiliate them in public? and for what? -- Sad, but very true.
Aisha, what goes around comes around and soon they will be bullied.
your health too ...
leave them alone because such people don't last :-)