To the females on this forum
Are you more defensive here when a man talks to you in say a supermarket and so on? Before coming to Qatar it was normal for me to strike convos with random people where ever I was, whereas in Qatar I noticed females come across as cold even though I have no interest in pursuing them sexually, just starting random convos, it's ok with the guys here though.
I thought it was pretty obvious why females in Qatar are wary of dudes.
Nugget you can accidently look at a chap here and get followed.......
scary.
We don't mean to be rude we are just trying to be safe. :)
RR is bang on the money... look at Ted Bundy... most girls would have gone on a date with him................
If you find someone ( a guy) staring at you or trying to catch your attention...DON'T STARE back or IGNORE him...and walk away...
They will try...believe me, they would even do ridiculous antics just to be able to talk to you...
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" -Eleonor Roosevelt
I know a thing or two about the psychology of violent behaviour.....this topic was HEAVILY researched by my teacher and employer when I was an assistant instructor at a self defense school in Montreal (especially rape prevention seminars)....needless to say it is shocking how many misconceptions are out there reagrding women being attacked (heaven forbid)....that run the gammut from:
It'll never happen to me
I know what a potential attacker will look like
He would never hurt me, I know the guy
If he attacks me i'll just kick him in the groin and voila
and the list goes on and on!
Stay safe.
Perfection does not exist. The question therefore, is: what level of imperfection are we willing to settle for?
alain_arts its better to be safe then sorry...in this country we just dont know which stranger is the good guy. so if a woman happens to snob you, you know the reason why...its hard to put somebody as an exception we will never know we end up talking to a psychopathic. sounds exaggerated but it may happen....
I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it. ~Charles Schulz
true words indeed!
In my case though I must have watched too many suspense movies with my dad where all the bad guys would wear suits and carry a briefcase.
I also think that here in doha I would feel safer talking to a guy wearing a led zep shirt than wearing a tie. But then again as you pointed out..there is no way to stereotype the appearance of a psycho!
thank you for that reminder..
and very interesting/witty question. What imperfection am I willing to settle for? (in the past many..haha)..that question is certainly something to ponder as I start my day..
never look bact to the men here unless he is the shop sales or my gym trainer, otherwise i get follow and have to put with the hassles no thank you thing. weird men outhere in Doha.
Everybody is right Everybody is wrong, it depend where we stand.
Sometimes being too friendly or just smiling with someone u dont know here may leads u to into trouble... Some guys may misinterpret the way u interact with them.
Yes Mila ur right! its really hard to be female & asian in this country. I remembered my husband told be before i got here that interacting with guys here is too different in the Philippines. So avoid being too friendly or just smiling with them.
So i guess being friendly also differs from culture to culture.
"Even if LOVE is full of thorns, embrace it. For in between those thorns there is a ROSE that's worth all the PAIN."
Be careful also for those guys asking for assistance, like directions...this is also one of their alibis. Sometimes women, being helpful becomes their subject too.
so all you women out there...be vigilant and always have the police number!
if they stalk at you refrain from going to deserted places!
I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it. ~Charles Schulz
get raped... lol
are you serious talking about men as in general? C'mon ladies, we just want some conversation... and friends.
***** I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it. ******
i used to strike up conversations with everyone..i would talk to drivers, street vendors, friendly people in supermarkets..given the right situation of course. I grew up in-between the city and a small suburban town so do know how to choose the people I talk to. However, since I got to doha I've learned how to be a complete and total snob.
I HATE how guys even ask your number without properly getting to know you first! like..what's your nationality? then when you answer and they hear the answer they act is if THAT is enough...or that because of your answer they can just act all aggressive..
Plus, it's a defense mechanism..it's hard to be female and asian in this country...we get judged easily and we are also prey to alot of bad comments.
Wether you strike up a conversation with someone or not is entirely up to you...but just be aware that you cannot judge a person's intent by their appearance.
Most people think that rapists and murderers are 6 feet tall with malicious eyes, and unkempt wild hair, unshaven and agressive demeanor. THIS IS SIMPLY NOT TRUE!
Anyone ever seen what Ted Bundy looked like?
He was a small, quiet and shy man....very presentable, who wore suits....soft spoken, and looked like he wouldn't hurt a fly.
Nowhere is the old addage of not judging a book by its cover MORE appropriate.
Just be aware, and stay safe.
Perfection does not exist. The question therefore, is: what level of imperfection are we willing to settle for?
yeah right Lovinni but u see its much scary to see a guy looking after or approaching u if he looks untidy right? lol
But yes ur right u cant tell someones true colors by just looking on their appearances.
Its much better to be careful or maybe look snub to this guys rather than to be harass.
"Even if LOVE is full of thorns, embrace it. For in between those thorns there is a ROSE that's worth all the PAIN."
wmhizon, even the clean cut or clean shaven guys have bad intentions....most of them have the courage to start conversations to ask you out....so we just have to be careful..
I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it. ~Charles Schulz
i think it depends on how the guys approach us. If he looks good, harmless & gentlemen why not...
But some guys looks really scary because of the way they look or stare at you...
It seems that they want to bite or eat you whole! lol
"Even if LOVE is full of thorns, embrace it. For in between those thorns there is a ROSE that's worth all the PAIN."
I don't mind striking up a conversation with strangers... i love having different people, connections in my life. But if this guy comes up to me and the first thing he says is "hi whats your number?" or follows me around the supermarket with a constant "hi" or "pssst" there is definitely something wrong with hm.
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One of the hardest things for us to do in our human nature is to just stop what we are doing to allow God to produce in us what only He can produce.
I was told by my co-expats here that the locals generally prefer young males to females because of their schooling system.
Hehehe, my fav is Arab taxi driver in the old taxis they had who turned around to my female co-worker when she got in the cab and said, "Do you want to f**k?" after she'd been in the country about 2 days. No introduction, no attempt at chatting up. After that, he policy was never to talk to a man she didn't know unaccompanied.
It's not easy for women to open up to guys that beat their wives or pretend to be the god... thats how most of the guys that approach the girls in supermarkets act in Qatar. This whole thing began because of the schooling system in Qatar, no co-ed system. If kids were to have a little freedom and know how to treat a woman, other than their sister or mother, they wouldn't end up like this.
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"Be Like a Flower, Which gives off it's fragrance
even to the hand that crushes it.
if you happen to be in the receiving end....
You are right, talking to some people around you (especially when you're in the supermarket) just for random talks and then moving on to mind your own business is the NORM...
But it's NOT like that to ladies/women here in DOHA...
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" -Eleonor Roosevelt
iam learning
YOU DONT KNOW ME, DONT EVEN TRY !!!
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do you guys think it's worth just to live here? I don't think any girl I have ever dated would be able to manage!
lol @ some of the responses, I am not talking about going around to random people and introducing myself! In the US it is pretty common to start a convo with those around you regarding whatever is taking place in the area, I guess NYC would be more like here, (excluding the males in doha). It must be pretty bad here for the ladies I guess!
we're not in a public place...you we're with the group...
got no choice at that time...lol
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" -Eleonor Roosevelt
i know u dont do but your computer does random excess memory
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lol azy
but how come it did not work when i approached u with exactly those lines
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so dont worry,.........and keep smiling,
YOU DONT KNOW ME, DONT EVEN TRY !!!
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It's HOW MEN approach the ladies IS THE PROBLEM....
It always starts with a smile...and a HI/HELLO;
the next question would be THE NATIONALITY.."Are you ______?"
A small talk with ensue and then they will ask your number or they will give you their number.
Polite turn-downs usually don't work because THESE MEN (boys, actually) are either DENSE and think that the ladies are just playing COY/hard to get...
so a BLUNT approach is MORE EFFECTIVE:"You seem to be a nice person but SORRY, I'M NOT INTERESTED"
It works...
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" -Eleonor Roosevelt
I thought that's what you did in supermarkets...lurk...never know who you'll meet while in the produce section!!
You've always cracked me up with how friendly you are...you just off and talk to whomever is close by...me, I always just smile, so they probably think I am simple minded...
Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. --Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)
If I had to wait for strange men to talk to me first, I'd be wandering around supermarkets for so long I'd probably get reported for lurking with intent!
got a good response for you when some guy asks for your phone number...just smile, and give him the police station's number...
Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. --Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)
when a man starts talking to me, I always speak back. You never know who might just be a very interesting person to have a conversation with!
I don't talk a lot because jauntie is always talking...(just picking at you jaunts!) and yes, she does strikes up convos everywhere...she keeps me giggling at her...mainly because i love to see the shocked looks on the people's faces when she just starts talking to a complete stranger...lol
Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. --Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)
It's usually ME who starts talking to strangers, whether it be men OR women, in supermarkets.
I guess I just like to talk and don't wait to be asked - pretty damn scary female or what! LMAO
P.S. My husband keeps the ear plugs from airline sleeping pouches lol
Men dont talk as much as women.Proof?
How many times have you seen talking men machos (cant seem to think of the masculine for dolls). It is always the dolls that are talking and wont stop unless you take the batteries out.
I dont belive that any man would dare to talk infront of women. Men talk only with other men, while with women they only listen.
JOKE
"
A man asked his wife what she'd like for her 40th birthday.
"I'd love to be six again," she replied.
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear, everything there was! Wow! Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to a McDonald's they went, where her husband ordered her a Happy Meal along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.
Then, it was off to a movie - the latest Disney and what a fabulous adventure!
Finally, she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed. He leaned over and lovingly asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being six again?"
One eye opened. "You idiot, I meant my dress size."
The moral of this story is: When a woman speaks and a man is actually listening, he will still get it wrong."
This joke was sent to Mullah KnoxCollege by an anonymous person. Mullah thanks that person for sending him such jokes.
Looks to me that all the ladies I see in Doha has Bodyguards all around them !!!!!
Sono chance to strike up a conversation...............poor me!
Its better to avoid random conversations here ,as some men might think that the woman fancies him. Knox, i have heard some men talk so much dude that ive needed ear plugs myself.
the ladies here dont have their nose up in the air nor are they like proud peacocks but its more like ............. better be safe then sorry
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Coz initially they will be a bit hesitant to engage in a conversation with you, but once you get over it then you would wish that you hadnt started the conversation. Coz dude once they start talking then they dont stop. They dont have a full stop. So take my advice and dont talk with women. Still if you wanna do it make sure to take ear plugs so that when they start non-stop you can put the ear plugs on.
Regards
Mullah KnoxCollege
yes i get very defensive because most of these men come up and want to invite for tea and do something else after..or they want to get your number and harass you after...and so on...others tend to be polite but still wanted the same things. thats why i dont usually talk to these guys....
I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it. ~Charles Schulz
I'm definetly more on my guard here-because quite honestly I really don't want to talk to strange men. I have never had random men just come up to me and strike up a conversation before anywhere else in the world and it freaks me out how often it happens here.
In Dubai this poor restuarant manager came up to me to check I was being given a table and I completely blanked him cos I thought he was some dodgy bloke!! Poor guy!!
the females by about 10 to 1 so we have to be wary. It's just being smart.
different places different cultures.
Why do you think it is like this ?
I will tell you, it's because there are too many men harassing women...
(I am a man and this is what I see when I am out and about - my wife says this as well when she is alone, she is pestered all the time)