16 things it took me 50 years to learn
I'm sure this has been posted before but I just love it..so here it is again...
16 THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN:
by Dave Barry, Nationally Syndicated Columnist
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word is 'meetings.'
3. There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness.'
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
7. Never lick a steak knife.
8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even
remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.
13. A person who is nice to you but rude to a waiter is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
14. Your friends love you anyway.
15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
16. Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
u Saved 25 yrs for me ..
Thanks a lot .. actually i liked them so much ..
specially this
15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
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Hehehehehe, got a friend who is high up in the US forces and he agrees wholeheartedly with 15, particularly with regard to US military entanglements. He always says that the dedicated amateurs will beat the professionals every time-think that is true in most facets of life.
# 15. Im still afraid to try something new...
Thanks Scarlett... It's good to be remindered of the facts now and again.
Motivation is when your dreams put on work clothes.
- Ben Franklin
kellysnake
i agree wid all 16 points, though i am not 50!! i guess u r a fast lerner. ciao.
i do not understants # 10, 12 and 16. but the rest of the points are very true.
Scarlett 3.125 years per thing??? :O thats alot of time u spend on learning 1 thing hahaha :P
Una palabra no dice nada, Y al mismo tiempo, Lo esconde todo - Outlandish
Hmmm number 13.....sounds a bit English to me. lie down and take whatever service you are given and never, ever, in absolutely no circumstances complain or people will think you are making a fuss.
Those 16 things are behind me now. Trying to figure out what things would take me 60 years to learn.
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Scarlett, I meant very short term relationships like a week or 5 days... I've seen alot of those.
Una palabra no dice nada, Y al mismo tiempo, Lo esconde todo - Outlandish
for number 13!!! i agree but what about a waiter who is always nice to you but not to your friend especially female friends???
she's bad???
A another rule if talking about women, NEVER EVER reveal your feelings to a girl no matter how intense they are at the first stage. Your actions should demonstrate them!!!
From my experience, from the moment you'll tell a girl "i like you" something in her opinion about you will lessen. Don't tell her anything, just go for the kiss!!! (OK OK, I will change my nickname to HITCH very soon I promise lol :))
Bon apres-midi les amis!
"If you don't take risks, you don't drink champ-agne..."
so we dont need to wait for 50 years...
thanks...
so loveleh...
never mind how many relationships they've had..could be they have been searching for the right person and have had to kiss a lot of frogs in the process.
Tigasin...you know we love you, even if you are disappearing!!
Brandylady.. women, even married ones, are still stomping and always will...
Oryx,...I don't care if someone can't dance as long as they dance far away enough from my toes...
Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
--Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)
I learnt a few things too...
Never trust a person who is not loyal in his relationship
I dont trust someone who has had alot of relationship aswell
When u point 1 finger at someone 3 fingers r pointed towards u.
There are somethings that we will never understand in our lives, like why do people become friends and one day out of a blue moon, they vanish. (happend mostly with palestinian girls)
Anger is the worst thing that could happen to someone, it doesnt hurt others most of the time, but urself.
Cursing at someone doesnt do any harm to them, but shows how bad your tongue is.
Sometimes silence speaks louder than words.
Sweet words cost nothing but can buy everything.
The first impression is never the last one.
Una palabra no dice nada, Y al mismo tiempo, Lo esconde todo - Outlandish
Excellent
except number 6... I care if someone can/can't dance....
nice one :o)
If you're looking for a problem, you're probably gonna find one.
I only have two friends and their love is conditional.
Just call me Tigasin. That's what I'm talking about
no 16, am still stamping though :( x
sure you do have to wait for 50 years, but now you have to learn MORE stuff...you just got a head start!
Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
--Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)
#13 is true...you can judge a person very well by that...thanks scarlett for this so now i dnt have to wait 50 years :)