Rules-By Men & Women! :-P

Rules by Men

1. Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.

2. If you don't want to dress like Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

3. If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.

4. It is in neither your best interest nor ours to make us take those stupid Cosmo quizzes together.

5. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women how can we know how pretty you are?

6. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.

7. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done - not both.

8. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials or time-outs.

9. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do we.

10. Women who wear Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their chest stared at.

11. When we're turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the ramp, you saying "This is our exit" is not necessary.

12. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.

Rules by Women

1. The woman always makes the rules.

2. The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.

3. No man can possibly know all the rules.

4. If the woman suspects the man knows too many rules, she must immediately change some or all of the rules.

5. The woman is never wrong.

6. If the woman is wrong, it is a direct result of something the man did or said wrong.

7. If rule #6 applies, the man must immediately apologize.

8. The woman can change her mind at any time.

9. The man may never change his mind without express written consent from the woman.

10. The woman has every right to become angry or upset at any time.

11. The man must remain calm at all times, unless the woman wants him to be angry or upset.

12. The woman must, under no circumstances, let the man know if she wants him to be angry or upset.

13. If the woman has PMS, all rules are null and void.

14. If two women disagree about a rule, they are both right.

15. Any attempt to document these rules could result in bodily harm.