QL Laughter Factory

SPAM !

I went on Diet and in two weeks I lost 14 days. (:

Nope Benedict.

Reports that the Pope is going to resign. Harry Redknapp said to be 'very interested' in the job.

P.S. He has the similar facial expressions.

JOB VACANCY. Wanted one Pope. Must be male and catholic. Good references not necessary.

Ok-How long before the Pope's speeding ticket revelations come out?

Are you a Vatican, or a Vatican't?

Pope's annual assessment obviously went really badly.

Nien_Nunb

Never send a Hitler Youth to do a man's job...(:

2. Now the Pope is resining.. This horse-meat scandal is higher than I thought ...by @amateursuman

@adamhillscomedy

The Pope is resigning. He will soon be known as Ex-Benedict.

Here are some of the silly/clever/occasionally disrespectful but above all funny tweets that have made us laugh about the papal departure.

1. The Pope is hardly the first person to lose interest on their real job so soon after joining Twitter.

MOTHER-"DEAR SON FOR U THIS IS THE FST DAY IN SCHOOL,SO SPEAK SWEETLY THERE.

SON REACHED SCHOOL

TEACHER-"WOT IS UR NAME"

SON-MY NAME IS "GULAB JAMUN"

TEACHER- WOT IS UR MOTHER'S NAME

SON-"BURFI DEVI"

TEACHER-WOT IS UR FATHER'S NAME?

SON-"IMARTI LAL.

TEACHER-OH I C NOW U DON NEED TO TELL ME UR ADDRESS I GOT ITS "MITHAI KA DABBA"

How to get a man mad in 2 easy steps:

1. Take a picture of him.

2. Show it to him.

Ha ha

How to get a woman mad in 2 easy steps:

1. Take a picture of her.

2. Don't show it to her

Lolz sense! Those nutters had lot the sense of gender :) Thats why they were ruined!! :)

Btw what were the mummies called?

Lol Sense. ((: so true..

Lol Sense. ((: so true..

See its obvious..after the attack, Deads are popping up here. Hahahah ((:

EGYPT IS THE ONLY COUNTRY,WHERE AFTER THE DEATH EVERY DADDY TURN MUMMY.

Nature has its own course of revenge. Keep the dead out and Bankers shall attack you :p

Laughter factory is now under attack by stupid bankers. (:

In bio practical:

Brit as Examiner: Tell me the name of this bird by seeing its legs only?

Babu: I don't know.

Brit: You are failed ! What's your name?

Babu: You see my legs & tell my name..

Newspaper reports that a toilet is stolen.

Police says they have nothing to go on.. ((:

What do you call a teacher with no arms no legs and no body..

The Head..... (:

Lol Brit.. (:

A little boy asked his mother, "Mummy, am I descended from a monkey?"

The mother replied, "I don't know, son

I never met your father's folks.

ROFL LMAO ! britey

baburao , being a generous person, bought his mother-in-law a talking parrot.

When he visited a week later, she said, "This parrot is useless. He hasn't uttered a word yet"

The parrot said, "That's because I haven't had flippin chance"

Lol Brit. (:

There is a guy selling three parrots. Another guy who wants to buy a parrot asks him, “How

much are your parrots?”

The salesman answers, “The first one is $1,000.”

“What does he know?”

“He knows 10,000 words and 500 sentences and he is able to solve mathematical

problems.”

How about the second one?

“The second parrot costs $5,000.”

“What does he know?”

“He knows 100,000 words and 10,000 sentences, is able to solve mathematical problems,

and create computer programs.”

“Then what is the price for the third one?, the buyer is wondering.”

“This one costs $20,000.”

“Really!?, wonders the buyer. What does HE know?”

“This one knows absolutely nothing, but the two others call him ‘THEIR BOSS.’”

Nad came in for an interview for a job we were advertising. To break the ice, I asked, "if you could have a date with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?"

Nad quickly responded, "the living one."

BG went to disco and informed his wife : Honey I think You lost your car..someone was driving it outside..

Wife : Did you manage to see the driver (thief)??

BG : Oh no but I saw the plate number. ((:

CL - Sweetheart, would you say that I'm the only man you've ever loved?

CL GF - Of course, you are! Why do all men ask me the same silly question?

CL - I am logging into QL now. :(

Thank you. (:

I am not sure why there is a bathroom picture appearing these days as it was a big smiley before.

Being Creative LLR, nice try :)

Rizks goes for a job interview at QChem - chemical factory.

The manager asks, "Have you worked with chemicals before?"

Rizks replies, "Yes."

The manager then asks, "Can you tell me what nitrate is?"

Rizks replies, "Yes, it's time and a half."

Nads023 next song after "the weekend weekend weekend ha weekend"

"Birdy birdy in the sky, left a poopie in my eye.

Me don't care, me don't cry, me just happy that a cow can't fly!"

(:

Gud Mrng mate..I m pretty much positive thanks. (: Good to see you. (:

Dedication to Tah:

Little Susie, a six-year-old, complained, "Mother, I've got a stomach ache." "That's because your stomach is empty," the mother replied. "You would feel better if you had something in it." That afternoon, her father came complaining that he had a severe headache all day. Susie perked up, "That's because it's empty," she said. "You'd feel better if you had something in it."

The 100th post and I will rest.

"Son asks difference btw Confidence and Confidential.

Dad says, u are my son, I am Confident.

Ur friend is also my son, thats Confidential."

Why do men like love at first sight?

It saves them a lot of time.

I’ve just torn up a note pad and wrapped it around my stomach; it was a waist of paper.

Hahahah (: Indeed a historical discovery..

Consequences of American life style:

The wife rushed into house screaming to her husband:

Darling, Come quick! Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids.

Qatar University researchers have discovered that birthdays are good for you...

The more you have the longer you live...

What's green and sings?

Britney Spearagus ((:

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight (ate) nine!

Hahahah (:

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly… and for the same reason..

In all successful marriages one partner is always right, the other one is called a husband!

A young man looking to get married asked his friend. "Every woman I bring home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like." "Oh, that's easy," his pal replied, "All you have to do is find someone who is just like your mother." "I did that already," he said, "and that one my father didn't like."

Q: What did 0 say to 8?

A: "Nice belt!"

OOpssed Brit Is it cuz their horse forget to wear the life jacket? ((:

I have sad news to report..

The Qatar Ladies Water polo team captained by nad has had to be disbanded.

All their horses drowned.

ROFL Tashin !

Husband says to wife: "If I'd shot you when we first met, I'd be out of prison by now..but still... (:

Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?

When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.

Nads and strom fell down in a hole. Nads said, "It's dark in here isn't it?" Strom replied, "I don't know; I can't see."

Nads: "What does IDK stand for?"

Any other man: "I don’t know."

Nads: "OMG, nobody does!"

What's the difference between Big Foot and intelligent man?

Big Foot's been spotted a several times.

is this guy a troll..

he he he Storm

Wow a mutual admiration society here

Nad :-)adding to ur sperm joke

Men are like...Copiers. You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

Ur right Tahsinmim.

What's the quietest place in the world?

The complaint department at the parachute packing plant.

Hahahah (:

What's the smartest thing a man can say?

"My wife says..."

Shhhh.. Storm, Tah is there :)

God promised that women will find good and wise men , in every corner of the earth ..... and then He made the earth round :-)

Ok OK gosh tough crowd..

Tah, its not related to God its related to men and women.

It was not a stop sign but LL standing. Imagine wht happened next LOL

Feasad and Nads were driving a car on a hilly road. At the top of a very high steep hill, they start going down it very fast. Feasad screams, "Oh no! The brakes don't work!" Nads in the passenger seat says, "Don't worry. There's a stop sign ahead."

God said big mistake after creating women

Why did God create man before woman?

Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece.

Why does it take 100 million sperms to fertilize one egg?

Because not one will stop and ask for directions.

What did God say after creating man?

I can do so much better.

So true.

What is Dracula's favorite pudding?

Leeches and scream

Apparently a new Sushi bar has opened in Villagio. It caters exclusively to lawyers?

It's called, Sosumi.

Today I sent out a text saying, "Hey, I lost my phone, will you call it?" 12 people called me... I need smarter friends.

What kind of sushi does Lady Gaga eat? Raw, raw, raw, raw, rawwww!!!

ahhaaa take it easy Drac... ((:

I have never understood why women love cats.

Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep.

In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.

Announcement:

Today is International Women's Day. It was actually supposed to be held yesterday but they took too long to get ready.

Lol Strom ((: Its 100% true.

A GAL'S FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATES:-

"Wow I just found the love of my life...Nothing will eva stop me from loving my man♥."

.

,, ,,

.

14 DAY LATER:-

"Never make sum1 a priority when u're just an option to them..xm!"

.

,, ,,

.

2 DAYS LATER:-

"I HATE love so much!"

.

,, ,,

.

3 DAYS LATER.

"I'm happy to remain single andI will never fall in love again."

.

,, ,,

.

5 DAYS LATER:-

"I'm looking for a man to loveand treat me ryt."

.

,, ,,

.

15 DAYS LATER:-

"When u deeply fall inlove with a person,u realise why itdidn't work with anybody elsebut him.I love my guy so much....mwaaah.­ "

.

,, ,,

.

8 DAYS LATER:-

"bulshit..!! All men are the same.

Thelonius was in school, taking a true-false test and he's flipping a coin. At the end of the test he's flipping the coin again. The teacher says, "What are you doing?" He says, "Checking my answers."

Dracula just showed me the new French Army knife.

No scissors or pliars. Just 6 corkscrews and a white flag.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"

BG thinks with finger in his nose.."I have no idea why the doctor told me to get into shape! Is ROUND not a shape!?"" Yeah hu hu hu.. ((:

LOl edited... My fingers little massage on your head ( With gloves )

things ? ho ho ho

LOL

Yesterday I got a PM someone asking me "Are you a Qatari?"

I told Nope I am LandLover ((:

Fang you very much landroverreview! :)

Dracula for u..

What kind of mail does a super star vampire get?

FANG-MAIL!

ho ho ho !

Patient: I keep seeing vampires with fangs dripping blood.

Doctor: Have you seen a psychiatrist?

Patient: No, just vampires.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?

He had noBODY to go with!!

Rizks stops Baburao in the street and asks about the quickest way to get to Wakrah.

baburao says , "Are you walking or driving?"

Rizks says that he is driving.

Baburao says, "That's the quickest way!"

How do you recognize a Sardar in School?

He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

he he he, now nad and Rizks both build a room to decorate with the 4 remaining rolls. LOLssss..

Nad decided to decorate her bedroom. She wasn't sure how many rolls of wallpaper she would need but she knew that Rizks who lived next door had recently done the same job and the two rooms were identical in size.

"Rizks," she asked, "How many rolls of wallpaper did you buy for your bedroom?"

"Ten" said Rizks.

So Nad bought the ten rolls of paper and did the job. It looked wonderful, but she had 2 rolls of wallpaper left over.

"Rizks," she said. "I bought ten rolls of wallpaper for the bedroom, but I've got 2 left over!"

"Dat's funny," said Rizks. "So have I."

hmmmm, Tah there is one post in Q&A also.Wieeeerdddd..

ha ha ha ha LL

Rizks went into the public toilets to relieve himself. The first cubicle was in use, so he went into the next one. As he took down his trousers, he heard a voice from the other cubicle.

"Hey, hows it going?"

Not wanting to be rude, he replied, "Not too bad thanks."

A few seconds later, he heard the voice again.

"What are you up to?"

Somewhat reluctantly, he replied, "Having a quick s**t, what about you?"

He heard the voice again.

"Hold on, I'm going to have to call you back. There's some wise ar*s in the cubicle next to me answering everything I say!!

Y is there a thread dedicated to Babu....LOL

Two children are talking.

A: Meet my new born brother.

B: Oh, he is so handsome! What's his name?

A: I don't know. I can't understand a word he says.

he he he tah

A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?

B: It's a girl. She's my daughter.

A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father.

B: I'm not. I'm her mother.

An elementary school teacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school.

"If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I will promise not to believe everything your child says happens at home.

This reminds me of my daughter:)

ha ha ha Tah a good one.. really

Q: How do you keep a blonde in the shower all day?

A: Give her a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."

Post it plzzz, today is so depressing and I am hungry.

Its a laughter factor with short jokes and just ha ha ha.. I can post some nice one in another thread. (:

LL these jokes are boring, can we have few good ones.

Did you hear about the cemetery that raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living! ((:

1st Monster: What's the best thing for water on the brain?

2nd Monster: A tap on the head!

A light aircraft crashed into a cemetery near Wakrah.

Major Baburao of the Emergency services say they have recovered 374 bodies so far .

Women like silent men. They think they're listening.

How do Hypnotists get from place to place?

By public trance-port!

With his half hand waxed like TB.. (:

Tat guy in the first pic resembles like my priend britexpat...seems like having stomach ache ?