Old age - the joys of...
It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds.
As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car.
He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car. Were they trying to steal it?
"Heavens no, we bought it."
"Then why don't you drive it away."
"We can't drive."
"Then why did you buy it?"
"We were told that if we bought a second hand car here we'd get screwed.. so we're just waiting.
Because you are one pure black Blondie thats why :D
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Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the School playground and go Into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace.Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could Not contain himself as He ran home and started to tell his mother, -
Mommy, I was at the playground And I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her Shirt.Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane...
At this Point Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is Such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest Of it for suppertime. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."
At the dinner table, Mommy asked little, Johnny to Tell his story Johnny started his story, "I was at the playground And I saw Daddy's car go Into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look And he was giving Aunt Jane a big ki ss, and then he Helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane Helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the Army.
Mommy fainted!
THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS:
Sometimes you need to listen to the whole story > before you interrupt.
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Why are you telling me DaRuDe...lol....
'Our freedom is but a light that breaks through from another world'
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started.
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box,then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then .." he said with a deep sigh, .........
Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."
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Oh My GOD
Thank you wait let me get some more for you guys :D
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Absolutely hilarious!
Your name justified!
you are shameless...but FUNNY!!!
HA HA ha ha
i am second time laughing from this wire less war.lol
"Drink Beer Save Water"
A woman married and had 13 children. Her husband died.
She married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died.
She remarried and this time had 5 more children.
She finally died after having 25 children.
Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her.He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, "Lord, they're finally together."
One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?" The friend replied,
"I think he means her legs."
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After digging to a depth of 100m last year, Russian scientists found traces of copper wiring dating back 1000 years and came to the conclusion that their
ancestors already had a telephone network one thousand years ago.
So as not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed, American scientists dug 200m, and headlines in the US newspapers read:- "US scientists have found traces of 2000 year old optical fibers, and have concluded that their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephone 1000 years earlier
than the Russians."
One week later, the Saudi press reported the following:-"After digging as deep as 500m, Saudi scientists have found absolutely nothing. They have concluded that 5000 years ago, their ancestors were already using wireless communication (mobile phones)
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Ohh fiddledeedee.....
guess devil is ageless so stop counting :D
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than i already am!!
yea yea i know i know Female never tell their exact age but am sure you are almost there hmm near 70s :D
ah and Scarlett is near 80s :D
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;)
I ain't old yet chum... not desperate... for a car :)
^>*^>*^>*^>*^>*^>*^>*
If you never did, you should. These things are fun, and fun is good. - Dr Seuss
hmm now i know why you never got that car shipped to Qatar hmmm guess you were screwed all the way hmm
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Da, I think you will be waiting a long time hun...
hmmm i have a second hand car am willing to sell it Will you buy.
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