Just for Laughs (MEN & WOMEN) -repost
DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS
40-ish - 49
Adventurous - Slept with everyone
Athletic - No tits
Average looking - Ugly
Beautiful - Pathological liar
Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure - On medication
Feminist - Fat
Free spirit - Junkie
Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person
Fun - Annoying
New Age - Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded - Desperate
Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing Passionate - Sloppy drunk
Professional - BiAtch
Voluptuous - Very Fat
Large frame - Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate - Stalker
WOMEN'S ENGLISH
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
10. U'r very attentive tonight = is sex all "U" ever think about?
MEN'S ENGLISH
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay
And finally....
A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.
had gone away to get u some exotic toothpaste without mint!! ;)
Who dares,wins!
hello bottle opener long time no see :)
Lolzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
"one helluva post" is just the phrase for it
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Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum sonatur.
ehhe
nice one ;)
should have a post for itself
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.... Playing football without a cup.
3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.
4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.
5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.
6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n
Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion. Male...... A source of entertainment, self-_expression, and male bonding.
7 . REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.
Ofcourse...this came frm a girl!!!
Who dares,wins!
Good one...
Right on, Spot on and way to go babe...LOL!!!!!!111
Sure it is getting to laughhhhh!!!!!!1
very good one
why does everything have to be about sex :'(
Una palabra no dice nada, Y al mismo tiempo, Lo esconde todo - Outlandish
you are giving away our secrets...
Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
--Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)
for 5 minutes. My colleagues think I have gone crazy.
Just call me Tigasin. That's what I'm talking about
Thanks.. explains alot... Haha
Motivation is when your dreams put on work clothes.
- Ben Franklin
I'm smiling and it's not because of pills, thanks mate.
so cool babe.. keep it coming.
Everybody is right everybody is wrong it depends where you stand.
nice post azi ;)
gd start of weekend
Tht was nice !!! :) U mind reader U !!
Love it...The Men's English is excellent and very true!
Azi thats one helluva post
Especially the last part - LOL!