LOL, Da did you ever see a movie called "East is East"? Its a Brit movie.... This guy had a wife back home and a Brit wife... he always used to threaten her and say "I will bring Mrs. Khan numner 1" lol. Reminds me of all your 'misses'.

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"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock - Will Rogers"