okay, here's a girlfriend joke then:
Imagine the scene, girlfriend and I laying in bed on a nice Sunday morning but I've got a very sad face:::
g/f...whats the matter darling
me...oh, I was just thinking, todays the anniversary of my grandad's death
g/f....oh, thats really sad
me....yes, I can remember his last words. I'll never forget them..
g/f...shall I make you breakfast in bed
me.....yes please darling. That would be cheer me up

After breakfast in bed, and a little more I did'nt expect:)

g/f....so what were his last words then
me.....oh fuck...a bus

black eye, broken nose

just eat another pie