Dvargas I enjoyed your words of wisdom when clubbing, especially point 4:
"Point 4- Have a cell phone available with good numbers in store in case ""feces???"" happen."
I'm sorry to hear that you can't control your bowel movements when out. I guess Tuth321 has been inviting you over to partake in some "clubbing"!

I tell you this truth, because I'm your friend, just please don't call me when feces happens ok?