Things We Should and Should Not Say to Children

There are times in our daily lives when we may say the wrong thing to our children, maybe, because we are busy, they are interrupting us when we are doing something important, they are not listening, etc. The reasons for our frustrations are endless. We are, after all, adults who have to get a lot done before the day is done. However, what we say and the tone we say it must be kept in check, otherwise we may end up making our children confused, hurt their tender feelings and also make them angry.

It is important to find a more acceptable way to say something to our children that is effective and that works. The following are some phrases or sentences we use all too often with our children. The problem is they, more often than, not do not have the desired effect on our children, and are actually counterproductive. We can rephrase and word our sentences by finding, nicer and calmer ways to get our message across:

1.       Do not say: I will never forgive you

Do say: What you did could have been harmful, but we will find a way to move forward and leave this behind us.

2.       Do not say: I am ashamed of you.

Do say: Although I am not happy with what you did, I love who you are like always.

3.       Do not say: Do not worry, everything will be just fine

Do say: Mum and Dad will always be around, and we will set up an emergency plan in case it is needed.

4.       Do not say: Here, I will do it.

Do say: Let’s do it together.

5.       Do not say: Don’t cry.

Do say: I know you are upset, and it’s OK to cry. Come, let me give you a hug.

6.       Do not say: I’m disappointed.

Do say: I’m surprised; I wasn’t expecting this.

7.       Do not say: Because I said so.

Do say: I know you were looking forward to playing outside, but I have to do the cleaning, and I need your help. You can play outside later.

8.       Do not say: You know better than that.

              Do say: I like it better if you do it like this, thank you.

By using the above alternatives in our everyday talk with our children, they will learn to comprehend and understand the message we are trying to get across and there will be less problems on both sides.

What do you think? Will you try these alternative ways to talk to your children?