who cooks? Husband or wife?

In the era of ever- blurring gender based marital- role demarcations, it does sometimes get difficult to adjudicate who does the cooking. Who is the master of the kitchen? Who dons the mantle of the chief bread- maker? Who puts grub on the table; day after day after day. And nights too!   

There are three likely scenarios:

1. Stereotypically, irrespective of the woman’s work/ financial/ academic status and achievements, she does the majority of the cooking. This is the mostly likely scenario.
2. The couple decides to get into it together. The scenario can be sub- categorised into two :-

a) SHARING. Where both spouses are in the kitchen at the same time, with their hand’s in the same pie i.e. helping each other in the same task.

b) SPLITTING. Here again there are two further sub- classes. One where, both are in the kitchen at the same time but do clearly demarcated tasks, with no interference/ suggestions/ input/ help/ opinion from the other. The other is when only one spouse is in the kitchen at any particular time.

1. The man bucks all traditional mores and decides to take over the mantle. Happens rarely but increasingly so these days.

Now, most would say that Scenario no. 2 is the best in terms of equality and team work. Especially if both partners work outside the home. True. But, there are inherent problems to this assumption.

The basic premise that man and woman can EVER be equal itself is wrong. The statement is akin to claiming that potatoes and tomatoes are equal. Man and woman are fundamentally, physically, physiologically, mentally, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually different. Branding them equal therefore leads to several problems.

Though the woman tries to vehemently convey to the man/ husband that cooking should not be considered a cardinal marital obligation just because she is of the female gender; deep down, primal rooted instincts draws her to defend and secretly claim her turf- THE KITCHEN. She might want things to be her way- spice- jars arranged in a certain manner, dishes and pans of a certain color, décor of a particular type. It is very hard for her to supress the urge to take over and make the space hers. Once she claims the space, the husband can conveniently use it as an excuse and back off. Or, even if he is well- meaning, he is intimidated by the crazy, territorial woman. 

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