Have you been on a disastrous date ?
So, do you have a story to tell about a date gone bad ?
Here are some from others:
Hilarious stories are now gathering pace on Twitter, including one from a woman who turned up at a blind date's house to find him in a dressing gown and sporting an electronic monitoring bracelet. He said "Shall we just stay in?'
'I went on a date and he took me on a burglary. I stayed in the car, not having a clue (I was 18) what he was doing in that house.'
'I had one who pretended he was a widow having lost his wife to cancer! when I became suspicious he said "she's not dead *exactly*"?!'
'First date. asked my age. Me: "32, why?" Him: "Well, I really want kids and at 32, your ovaries are dying.'
'I went on date with guy who said 'seeing as I'm paying' . . . 'we won't have starters and we'll drink tap water'.'
'Went on a date with a colleague's brother who didn't believe a kiwi was also a bird. He wanted to see me again because i'm clever.'
One woman's date ended when the man said he had to get home to the chicken breast going off in his fridge..
A boy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town, doing what boys and girls do on back roads some distance from town, when the girl stopped the boy. "I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex." The boy reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing. After the cigarette, the boy just sat in the driver's seat looking out the window. "Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl. "Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25."
Man: I'd really, really love it if you'd come back to my place.
Woman: And what's the magic word?
Man: Twenty quid! [she gets up to leave] Thirty? Forty? Forty-f…check, please!
MBK's day today..:p
doing good, thanks! missing QL. been out of the sandy world w/out access to the net on office hours. miss you all!(just a bit of hijack britexpat!) :))
bubblymom it can only get worse..hehehow are you buddy long time no see :)
it's your day! :)
Man: It's appalling that women are under all that pressure to be thin, to do their hair, to have the right nose and that.Woman: Oh, absolutely. I agree.Man: That's what's so great about you. You make no effort at all!
Man: I know it's really old-fashioned, but I think it's really important to get to know a girl's family and that when you're starting a relationship.Woman: Aww, that's so sweet!Man: Yeah. That's why I'm sleeping with your sister, innit!
Woman: If you were an animal, what sort of animal would you be?Man: Er, I'd be a tiger. Rrrr!Woman: What about me?Man: Ah, you'd be a bird of paradise.Woman: Aww. Why's that?Man: 'Cos you've got a hooky nose like a beak, and your voice is all screechy: "Aar! Aar!" And you've got feathery stuff on your lip, and then your feet are like this [makes claw shapes with hands], and then you've got a wobbly fat arse and…[notices his date has gone] check, please!
Man: Why don't we skip dessert and get outta here?Woman: Why? What have you got in mind?Man: Nothing. It's just that you're already quite fat, innit!
I'm guessing that you were about seven then :O)
Been on some bad dates - but this is THE one that sticks in my mind.
Blind date - he brings his MOTHER- who was as mad as box of frogs!
We meet at a wine bar - she is actually still tucking his shirt into his pants and spitting on her hanky to wipe his face as I am walking into the bar.
She then starts to talk about him as though he was not there at all! She even told me about his potty training.
She did not let me talk or him talk. We were allowed one drink each and then she produced a 'check list'. I kid you not! I had to do this check list and all the time he was sat there not daring to talk.
I was mortified and left. Poor, poor man.
He did actually marry some girl in the end (chosen by his mother). I often wonder what happened after he got married. I will google him one day lol xo
Well DK....had to do something similar too.......I had gone with my collars up to the Office to hide Hickeys on my neck......but was caught and teased by all the lovely ladies of the department and was the butt of all jokes for the week.
jayca, shhhh...yes, but not any more!!
She is in Qatar for the past 6-7 years...She came here very young around 20-21 years old to work in a mall as a sales girl..She started dating different nationalities..and her conclusion was that Indian Mallus are hot,stinky and over perfumed on first dates..Pakistanis are generous clean but keep calling their wives every 10 minutes to make them happy..lol....Filipina wants dates but dont want to pay for the food or cold drinks(They expect u to bring home made food)...Local guys are very open minded on fone but once u meet them they start taking out complaints about her presence or perfume or clothes and later on try to go some lonely place for some *&&*&*&*^&^^%^ stuff..Egyptian guys want to talk only about their wives and Husni Mubarak...European tell u every five minutes that they never met anyone ever...lol....We use to talk and laguh a lot on her general knowledge....
Lol @ DK- naughty boy :P
Good old days while in college, once had to come back home with collars up and hands on my cheek to hide love-bite marks from parents....a date gone berserk!
LoL @ MBK :P
Went on a date and asked my date if she was ok with premartial sex.
She said she is fine with it, I said is it ok then that I shag your friend one time before we get married?
Never saw that chick again, now thats what I call going back on her words..:)
LoL @ DK - No he didnt, actually he forgot that my sister is sitting at the back of his car, he only noticed when she said yuck! when he kissed me :P LoL
jayca, I hope he didn't drive back alone forgetting you were with him in the evening:-/
went out on an out of town dinner date, we were having fun when the bill came on, he only then knew that he left his wallet at home!!!!! (which is an hour drive away, one way!!) and i dont have enough cash!!he said that he needs to drive back home, get his wallet and come back, i said no way!that you will leave me here for 2 hours sitting in this table and wait till you come back, I phoned my sister tell her to bring some cash and my card! He was so embarrased and apologetic, my sister is upset (couldnt blame her :P) and i am mixed emotion.... LoL But it didnt turn out bad though, he sent us a gift voucher in a spa the next day with matching flowers for me :) and a bunch of apologies for my sister... LoL
Was out vacationing and went out to one of the popular nightspots on the beach. One of the chicks I was dancing with was a bit older than me, about 50 (well, a lot older than me actually). Which is fine. She was pretty hot for fifty(ish!), we danced a bit, drank a bit, had a bit of a kiss & cuddle. Then she asked me if I'd ever had the sportsman's double. A mother and daughter threesome. I said no. I mean, I've been in a threesome before, but the chicks weren't related. We drank a bit more, had a bit more of a kiss & cuddle and then she said that tonight was my lucky night. Woohoo!! So off we went, back to her place. She put the hall light on and shouted upstairs, "Mum, are you still awake?".
things are beccoming nutty ?
"i made my date nut cookies turned out he is allergic to nuts and he stayed in the hospital for 3 days"
You see this is why you should always wear protection.
Whose nuts did you use? :-(
maria issa you make cookies and take them on your dates?
i had a hideous date once when i made my date nut cookies turned out he is allergic to nuts and he stayed in the hospital for 3 days :s
:)
haha, funny !!!,, :)
Lol. I never had one and If i'll have,i won't see that man ever again.. I always have wonderful dates with wonderful people..:)
Who told you?Tell me ! :)