A Little Rubbing
Defense Attorney: What is your age?
Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old.
Defense Attorney: Will you tell us in your own words, what happened to you?
Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my front porch on warm spring evening ,when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me,
Defense Attorney: did you know him?
Little Old Woman: No but he was sure friendly.
Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?
Little Old Woman: He started to rub my thigh...
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?
Little Old Woman: No, I did not stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Woman: I felt good. Nobody had done that ever since my Abner passed away some 30 years ago.
Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Woman: He began to rub my br**st...
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?
Little Old Woman: No, I did not stop him
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Woman: Why? your honor his rubbing makes me feel alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!
Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Woman: Well, i was feeling so spicy that I just spread my old legs and said to him.... take me... young man... take me!
Defense Attorney: Did he take you?
Little Old Woman: Hell, no! He just yelled ... "April Fool!!!" ... and that's when I shot that son of a bitch!...
funny =0)
hippy and nun was so good
he he he
A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sxx with him. The nun surprised by the question politely declines and gets off the bus at the next stop.
When the bus starts on it's way the driver says to the hippie, "I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sxx with you".
The hippie says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery and pray's to God.
If you went dressed in a robe and glow in the dark paint mask she would think you are god and you could command her to have sxx with you.
The hippie decides this is a great idea, so on Tuesday he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun to show up.
At midnight sure enough the nun showed up, while she was in the middle of praying the hippie jumped out from hiding and says. "I AM GOD" I have heard your prayers and I will answer them BUT ... first you must have sxx with me.
The nun agrees but asks for anxl sxx so she might keep her virginity because she is married to the church. The hippie agrees to this and has his way with the nun.
After the hippie finishes he stands up and rips off the mask and shouts "Ha, Ha Ha I'm the hippie!!"
Then the nun jumps up and shouts "Ha Ha Ha I'm the bus driver!!"