Where to buy?

I have been pondering of late, and have discovered something startling. All of the literary legends have women-folk to heal their scraps and bruises and lacerations. Dr. Seuss, James Bond, Captain Wolf-man and even spider man had that bearded man to pat his back and brush his teeth.

SO! i wonder aloud in type-form, Whether it is time for the great tiger of Mr Chubbins to be tamed, and where can i buy such a Lion/Tiger tamer.

The lady would have to be able to communicate with me.
I expect that the women who have to have a face, complete with eyes, nose and (although not necessary) Ears.
Hair optional as i have always wanted to be bald myself - my health has forced me not to.

If you have one to sell, i will make a full inspection of her upon meeting, and wish to see all safety check papers. I would also like you the owner to complete a full MOT with her.

Please get in touch.

as always, This is the Chubbins, signing off.

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Where to buy?

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