Amusing Signs
Amusing Signs
In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.
On the walls of a Baltimore estate:
Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
-- Sisters of Mercy
In front of a church:
Don't give up. Moses was once a basket case.
In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
On a long established New Mexico dry cleaning store:
Thirty-eight years on the same spot.
In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
In a New York medical building:
Mental Health Prevention Center
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
On a New York convalescent home:
For the sick and tired of the Episcopal church
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
In a clothing store:
Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.
In a Swiss mountain inn:
Special today -- no ice cream.
In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store:
15 men's wool suits - $100 - They won't last an hour!
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.
In a New York restaurant:
Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.
On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
In the window of an Oregon general store:
Why go elsewhere to be cheated, when you can come here?
In a Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
In the grounds of a private school:
No trespassing without permission.
A sign advertising a Company wide skiing race:
Let's see who can go downhill the fastest
Spotted in a safari park:
Elephants, please stay in your car.
Outside a photographer's studio:
Out to lunch: if not back by five, out for dinner also.
Notice in health food shop window:
Closed due to illness.
On a plumber's truck:
We repair what your husband fixed.
On a maternity room door:
Push. Push. Push.
At an optometrist's office:
If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.
On a fence:
Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!
Seen on a garbage truck:
Satisfaction guaranteed or double your trash back!
On a church door:
This is the gate of heaven. Enter ye all by this door.
(This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side door.)
Sign warning of quicksand:
Quicksand.
Any person passing this point will be drowned.
By order of the District Council.
In an office:
After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.
:D