Smartbuddy.....if a woman had a husband who can take care of her and her children... No women would want to leave their kids back home and work so hard in a foreign land.
They are not doing it for pleasure...most of them don’t have a choice..
That's a real problem.. Also, what soemtimes hapens is that "folks" back home become so dependent on the monies being sent by these ladies that they don't bother to do things for themselves..
Let us hope and pray, that we all achieve our goals in life and get to spend time with our loved ones..
unfortunately its really hard for some to get back home or anywhere else...this area of the world is really good at keeping the workers down and not allowing them to save enough to get out...
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the main difference between a dog and man.
Please reread my post. I have the utmost admiration for ladies who make these sacrifices. In no way was i being derogitary. I was just pointing out the pitfalls of being a long term expat and the goal posts moving..
I have seen and know many ladies who came out to work for five years and were still there 15 years later..
Obviously you don't come from their country so how can you judge what they do to survive?
I know many ladies who are here to support not only their children so that they might have food on the table, but also their parents, brothers and sisters who are too young to be working yet. One lady I know, lost her father due to not having enough money to leave him on a breathing machine...how horrible is that? To make a choice of letting your father live or die because of money? She had to make the decision to let him go...and he was conscious and coherent when she had to tell him. He understood. Same lady is here with her husband, working two jobs because she is putting her three oldest children through college so they can have a better life when they graduate.
As a man, you will never understand what sacrifices women are making for their children. Also...most of these ladies are leaving their children with either their parents or their relatives...so its not like they are abandoning them to strangers.
Today's world is so much more difficult for everyone, so why jump in and start berating these women who already have such a burden to bear and miss their children at the same time???
To you ladies in this situation...bless you....I get to see my two grown sons 4 times a year and even that's not enough for me. I can't even imagine what you are going through. Know that you are not alone and that others do with you the best in this bad situation.
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the main difference between a dog and man.
Just as an aside .. Its always too easy to say "we're doing it for the kids'..
As a long term expat, I have seen numerous cases, where people go abroad "for the kids", educate them, buy a house, a car, then another house, then a bigger house, then pay for the marriage of the kids and end up a lonely expat..
Set your priorities, achieve them and spend time with the family..
I can relate to this. My daughter's birthday is few days from now and all I can do is call her, greet her and send money for her party. It's sad that I'm not there but right now, I just can't go back there and I can't bring them here, not yet.
I just look forward to the day that I can bring them here. That is my motivation. But then, it's easier said than done.
since we are far away from them, the best thing we could do is to text them, call them, chat with them....
We are still lucky, unlike our parents before , IMAGINE 70's & 80's... NO COMPUTERS, NO LAPTOPS, CHATTING, INTERNET... GOODNESS, all we are waiting then with my father is his LETTER.... (from KSA) it will take weeks to receive....the occasion is already finished and yet you will receive it after a month....
just be strong japple....what matter is WE KNOW WHY WE ARE HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE...FOR OUR KIDS ;)
It is a hard world, i agree....you may disagree with my views and I would disagree with yours, but we will agree on one thing surely, nothing can replace a MOTHER, a child needs mothers love, more than wonderful toys or a bed of roses. Live a simple life but give the love the kids deserve. Life is too short.
I am not judgmental here, running a house, feeding their child is primarily a husband's responsibility. But unfortunately in this fast competitive world people fail in their primary responsibility of giving companionship to their kids in a aim to give them a "future".
hehe sorry about the mocking smartbuddy... That was my mistake! I apologize!
But I still disagree with you, it is a hard world out there... And we shouldn't be judgmental with anyone, as we do not know the reasons they may have to take such a difficult decision, all I'm saying is that these people are not lying in a bed of roses, having the good life out here... they are working, and for the sake of their families, and for me thats as respectable as them staying with them back in their countries.
And fyi, single mothers cannot bring their kids that easily...
hehe sorry about the mocking smartbuddy... That was my mistake! I apologize!
But I still disagree with you, it is a hard world out there... And we shouldn't be judgmental with anyone, as we do not know the reasons they may have to take such a difficult decision, all I'm saying is that these people are not lying in a bed of roses, having the good life out here... they are working, and for the sake of their families, and for me thats as respectable as them staying with them back in their countries.
And fyi, single mothers cannot bring their kids that easily...
I agree with fathers keeping away from their kids so that they can FEED them by being away but there is no reason which can justify a mother leaving her kid alone, unless she is a single mother. A mother is the most important person for a growing kid, there is nothing which can substitute a mothers presence with her child, NOTHING.
Even in case of single mothers, she can get her child where she stays.....Who said there are no jobs in home countries, u can say there are not many jobs which pay as much as its paid here.
I'm sorry to disagree with this. Not everyone here is working to give their kids a luxurious life, you know? They work here to FEED them, because there is no job for them back home. The ones looking for (and I quote you) "earning more money", are here with their kids.
Well, SHAME ON YOU for not putting yourself in other people's shoes and for being so insensitive... There's not always a way, you know?
Not all people are as lucky as you are and have choices... Did you know that most expats here in Doha are by themselves, their families back home? Did you know that this people come here to work their backs off, doing NOTHING but work and sleep, so they can send all of their money to their kids back home, so that they can have a better life and better opportunities? Or did you just think that because life is fair with you, it is the same with everybody else?
Geez, get out there, talk to people, I've been here for only 4 months and I've been told the saddest stories around this topic.
You choose money over kids, so now whats the issue? Excuses can be many, to have their future secured, to give them luxurious life, etc etc.......but whats a child's life without his mother?
If one really loves their kids, they would not leave them alone for earning more money and remember humans never have it enough, the more they have, the more they want, the less they have the more they wish!
Be content with what u have and make the best of it, kids deserve companionship of mother much more than a "secure" future which Parent are wishing for, the future may not even come...
firstlove, you MUST understand that there is always a way. I have never missed a day with my children. My son is 18 now, my daugthter 16. If I had been offered a job without being able to be with my kids, I would not have taken the job. I set my preferences, whatever it costs.
YOU must understand how we suffer when we live our kids behind..We take all the loneliness and suffering for their sake for their future, because the damn goverment we have has not giving us a good job in our own country!!!
sinabi ng dumudugo ang ngangala ko sa english eh!!
Cge po I'll pray for you na sana mawala lungkot nyo. We all make sacrifices for our love ones, and leaving kids behind must really hurt. Pero, they will be sad too if malaman nila malungkot kyo dito. So cheer up. In no time makikita morin sila and makakasama. Hope this helps.
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scarlett, thank you soo much for your sympathy!
God Bless you & your Family....
Smartbuddy.....if a woman had a husband who can take care of her and her children... No women would want to leave their kids back home and work so hard in a foreign land.
They are not doing it for pleasure...most of them don’t have a choice..
That's a real problem.. Also, what soemtimes hapens is that "folks" back home become so dependent on the monies being sent by these ladies that they don't bother to do things for themselves..
Let us hope and pray, that we all achieve our goals in life and get to spend time with our loved ones..
unfortunately its really hard for some to get back home or anywhere else...this area of the world is really good at keeping the workers down and not allowing them to save enough to get out...
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the main difference between a dog and man.
-Mark Twain-
Please reread my post. I have the utmost admiration for ladies who make these sacrifices. In no way was i being derogitary. I was just pointing out the pitfalls of being a long term expat and the goal posts moving..
I have seen and know many ladies who came out to work for five years and were still there 15 years later..
you are in an entirely different situation...you lived in England...with all the opportunites afforded as such...
The pay for a NURSE back in the Phillipines is basically 100 dollars a month...could YOU live on that, much less support children?
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the main difference between a dog and man.
-Mark Twain-
Obviously you don't come from their country so how can you judge what they do to survive?
I know many ladies who are here to support not only their children so that they might have food on the table, but also their parents, brothers and sisters who are too young to be working yet. One lady I know, lost her father due to not having enough money to leave him on a breathing machine...how horrible is that? To make a choice of letting your father live or die because of money? She had to make the decision to let him go...and he was conscious and coherent when she had to tell him. He understood. Same lady is here with her husband, working two jobs because she is putting her three oldest children through college so they can have a better life when they graduate.
As a man, you will never understand what sacrifices women are making for their children. Also...most of these ladies are leaving their children with either their parents or their relatives...so its not like they are abandoning them to strangers.
Today's world is so much more difficult for everyone, so why jump in and start berating these women who already have such a burden to bear and miss their children at the same time???
To you ladies in this situation...bless you....I get to see my two grown sons 4 times a year and even that's not enough for me. I can't even imagine what you are going through. Know that you are not alone and that others do with you the best in this bad situation.
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the main difference between a dog and man.
-Mark Twain-
Just as an aside .. Its always too easy to say "we're doing it for the kids'..
As a long term expat, I have seen numerous cases, where people go abroad "for the kids", educate them, buy a house, a car, then another house, then a bigger house, then pay for the marriage of the kids and end up a lonely expat..
Set your priorities, achieve them and spend time with the family..
I can relate to this. My daughter's birthday is few days from now and all I can do is call her, greet her and send money for her party. It's sad that I'm not there but right now, I just can't go back there and I can't bring them here, not yet.
I just look forward to the day that I can bring them here. That is my motivation. But then, it's easier said than done.
**************************
Everything happens for a
reason.
**************************
Everything happens for a
reason.
since we are far away from them, the best thing we could do is to text them, call them, chat with them....
We are still lucky, unlike our parents before , IMAGINE 70's & 80's... NO COMPUTERS, NO LAPTOPS, CHATTING, INTERNET... GOODNESS, all we are waiting then with my father is his LETTER.... (from KSA) it will take weeks to receive....the occasion is already finished and yet you will receive it after a month....
just be strong japple....what matter is WE KNOW WHY WE ARE HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE...FOR OUR KIDS ;)
As you said, Its all about the choices we make...Yet, as a mother, she is allowed to feel some sort of loneliness .. Its natural ..
japple I understand what you feel... courage!
Agree in some points, but, as I said before, we don't know what pushes them to do so... how desperate they are... So we are not the ones to judge.
It is a hard world, i agree....you may disagree with my views and I would disagree with yours, but we will agree on one thing surely, nothing can replace a MOTHER, a child needs mothers love, more than wonderful toys or a bed of roses. Live a simple life but give the love the kids deserve. Life is too short.
I am not judgmental here, running a house, feeding their child is primarily a husband's responsibility. But unfortunately in this fast competitive world people fail in their primary responsibility of giving companionship to their kids in a aim to give them a "future".
hehe sorry about the mocking smartbuddy... That was my mistake! I apologize!
But I still disagree with you, it is a hard world out there... And we shouldn't be judgmental with anyone, as we do not know the reasons they may have to take such a difficult decision, all I'm saying is that these people are not lying in a bed of roses, having the good life out here... they are working, and for the sake of their families, and for me thats as respectable as them staying with them back in their countries.
And fyi, single mothers cannot bring their kids that easily...
hehe sorry about the mocking smartbuddy... That was my mistake! I apologize!
But I still disagree with you, it is a hard world out there... And we shouldn't be judgmental with anyone, as we do not know the reasons they may have to take such a difficult decision, all I'm saying is that these people are not lying in a bed of roses, having the good life out here... they are working, and for the sake of their families, and for me thats as respectable as them staying with them back in their countries.
And fyi, single mothers cannot bring their kids that easily...
I agree with fathers keeping away from their kids so that they can FEED them by being away but there is no reason which can justify a mother leaving her kid alone, unless she is a single mother. A mother is the most important person for a growing kid, there is nothing which can substitute a mothers presence with her child, NOTHING.
Even in case of single mothers, she can get her child where she stays.....Who said there are no jobs in home countries, u can say there are not many jobs which pay as much as its paid here.
Please before you leave ur kid alone, THINK!
or not so smart...
I'm sorry to disagree with this. Not everyone here is working to give their kids a luxurious life, you know? They work here to FEED them, because there is no job for them back home. The ones looking for (and I quote you) "earning more money", are here with their kids.
Please, before you talk, think.
Well, SHAME ON YOU for not putting yourself in other people's shoes and for being so insensitive... There's not always a way, you know?
Not all people are as lucky as you are and have choices... Did you know that most expats here in Doha are by themselves, their families back home? Did you know that this people come here to work their backs off, doing NOTHING but work and sleep, so they can send all of their money to their kids back home, so that they can have a better life and better opportunities? Or did you just think that because life is fair with you, it is the same with everybody else?
Geez, get out there, talk to people, I've been here for only 4 months and I've been told the saddest stories around this topic.
You choose money over kids, so now whats the issue? Excuses can be many, to have their future secured, to give them luxurious life, etc etc.......but whats a child's life without his mother?
If one really loves their kids, they would not leave them alone for earning more money and remember humans never have it enough, the more they have, the more they want, the less they have the more they wish!
Be content with what u have and make the best of it, kids deserve companionship of mother much more than a "secure" future which Parent are wishing for, the future may not even come...
magicDragon-good for you that you don't have to leave your children to work far from them!
guys,thank you for the sympathy...
my KABAYAN, i know nakaka-relate kayo sakin...
Supreme Sacrifice Talaga!
im just thankful that i have mine with me..
soooo bad, even calling then every now and then nor chatting with them on the net will not ease that feeling...
firstlove, you MUST understand that there is always a way. I have never missed a day with my children. My son is 18 now, my daugthter 16. If I had been offered a job without being able to be with my kids, I would not have taken the job. I set my preferences, whatever it costs.
magic dragon
YOU must understand how we suffer when we live our kids behind..We take all the loneliness and suffering for their sake for their future, because the damn goverment we have has not giving us a good job in our own country!!!
sinabi ng dumudugo ang ngangala ko sa english eh!!
mga kabayan paki correct nalang ha...
It is a hell experience when you are away from your kid. Today is my kid's birthday and I am not there with him..missing him a lot.
hu hu hu !!
agree with u 101%
think why you are here. D b for them narin.
Cge po I'll pray for you na sana mawala lungkot nyo. We all make sacrifices for our love ones, and leaving kids behind must really hurt. Pero, they will be sad too if malaman nila malungkot kyo dito. So cheer up. In no time makikita morin sila and makakasama. Hope this helps.
you will soon get use to it..
"There's nothing we can do to change the past, if it teaches you a lesson profit from it then, forget it."
How come you are not with them? Shame on you.
yes i agree 100%..