Joke Time

Wife: "You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?"
Hubby: "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears."
Wife: "You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"
Hubby: "Yes! I see your picture and ask myself, 'what problem could be greater than this one?'"

Husband: "What are you doing?"
Wife: "Nothing."
Husband: "Nothing? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."
Wife: "I was looking for the expiration date."

A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my $exy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor."

Boy: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries and troubles and lighten your burden."
Girl: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."
Boy: "Well, that's because we aren't married yet."

Wife: "Do you want dinner?"
Husband: "Sure. What are my choices?"
Wife: "Yes or no."

First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man."

The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!" Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy...

A husband inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."