for :)

Genie joke
A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a Genie's lamp.
She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold a Genie appeared. The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes.
The Genie said, 'Nope...due to inflation, constant downsizing, low wages in third-world countries, and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish.? So...what'll it be?'
The woman didn't hesitate. She said: 'I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other.'
The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed: 'Gosh, lady! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm good, but not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish.'
The woman thought for a minute and said: 'Well, I've never been able to find the right man. You know, one that's considerate and fun, likes to cook and helps with the housecleaning, is good in bed and gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and is faithful.? That's what I wish for...a good mate.'
The Genie let out a long sigh and said, 'Let me see that map again!'
---------------------------------------------------------
She went to the cemetery
A guy was known among his friends to be very brief and to the point - he really never said too much.

One day, a saleswoman promoting a certain brand of brushes knocked his door and asked to see his wife, so the guy told her that she wasn't home.
"Well," the woman said, "could I please wait for her?"
The man directed her to the drawing room and left her there for more than three hours.
After feeling really worried, she called out for him and asked," May I know where your wife is?"
"She went to the cemetery," he replied.
"And when is she coming?"
"I don't really know," he said. "She's been there eleven years now."
---------------------------------------------------------
Married life
Married life is very frustrating.
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen!
---------------------------------------------------------
Wife doesn't use anymore...
A wife arrived home after a long shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed with a young, lovely thing.

Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words:

'Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. Driving home, I saw this young girl, looking poor and tired, I offered her a ride. She was hungry, so I brought her home and fed her some of the roast you had forgotten about in the refrigerator.'
Her shoes were worn out so I gave her a pair of your shoes you didn't wear because they were out of style. She was cold so I gave her that new birthday sweater you never wore even once because the color didn't suit you. Her slacks were worn out so I gave her a pair of yours that you don't fit into anymore.
Then as she was about to leave the house, she paused and asked, 'Is there anything else that your wife doesn't use anymore?' And so, here we are!'
---------------------------------------------------------
Old picture
A woman brought an old picture of her dead husband, wearing a hat, to a photographer. She wanted to know if the photographer could remove the hat from the picture. He convinced her he could easily do that, and asked her what side of his head he parted his hair on.
I forgot, she said. But you can see that for yourself when you take off his hat.
---------------------------------------------------------
Mistress
A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, tells him she'll see him later, and walks away. His wife glares at him and says, "Who was that ?"
"Oh," replies the husband, "that was my mistress."
The wife says, "That's it; I want a divorce."
"I understand," replies her husband, "but, remember, if you get a divorce, there will be no more shopping trips to Paris, no wintering in the Caribbean, no Infinity or Lexus in the garage, and no more Country Club. But the decision is yours."
Just then the wife notices a mutual friend entering the restaurant with gorgeous woman.
"Who's that woman with Jim ? " she asks. "That's his mistress," replies her husband.
"Ours is prettier," says the wife.

^|^