what makes men cheat?
Counselor M. Gary Neuman surveyed 200 cheating and noncheating husbands:
What makes men cheat?
48% of men rated emotional dissatisfaction as the primary reason they cheated.
So much for the myth that for men, cheating is all about physical intimacy: Only 8 percent of men said that physical dissatisfaction was the main factor in their infidelity. "Our culture tells us that all men need to be happy is to have physical intimacy with someone," Neuman says. "But men are emotionally driven beings too. They want their wives to show them that they're appreciated, and they want women to understand how hard they're trying to get things right." The problem is that men are less likely than women to express these feelings, so you won't always know when your guy is in need of a little affirmation.
66% of cheating men report feeling guilt during the affair.
The implications are a little scary: It isn't just uncaring jerks who cheat. In fact, 68 percent of cheaters never dreamed they'd be unfaithful, and almost all of them wished they hadn't done it, Neuman says. Clearly, guilt isn't enough to stop a man from cheating. "Men are good at compartmentalizing feelings," Neuman explains. "They can hold on to their emotions and deal with them later."
77% of cheating men have a good friend who cheated.
Hanging around friends who stray makes cheating seem normal and legitimizes it as a possibility. The message he's subconsciously telling himself: "My friend is a good guy who happens to be cheating on his wife. I guess even the best of us do it."
40% of cheating men met the other woman at work.
"Oftentimes the woman he cheats with at the office is someone who praises him, looks up to him, and compliments his efforts," Neuman says. "That's another reason why it's so critical that he feel valued at home." Luckily, there's a clear warning sign that your husband is getting a little too cozy with a colleague: If he praises or mentions the name of a female coworker more than he would a male counterpart, your antennae should go up -- and it's time for the two of you to set boundaries about what is and isn't okay at work, Neuman says.
Only 12% of cheating men said their mistress was more physically attractive than their wife.
In other words, a man doesn't stray because he thinks he'll get lucky with a better-looking body. "
In most cases, he's cheating to fill an emotional void," Neuman says. "He feels a connection with the other woman, and physical intimacy comes along for the ride." If you're worried about infidelity, focus on making your relationship more loving and connected, not on getting your body just right or mastering how to please him physically. (But know that physical intimacy does matter -- it's one of the key ways your guy expresses his love and feels close to you, so be sure to keep it a priority.)
Only 6% of cheating men had physical intimacy with a woman after meeting her that same day or night.
Actually, 73 percent of men got to know the other woman for more than a month before they cheated. This means that you may have time to see the warning signs before infidelity occurs -- you might even see it coming before he does. Keep an eye out for these common signals: He spends more time away from home, stops asking for physical intimacy, picks fights more frequently, or avoids your calls. Your gut reaction may be to confront him, but most men will deny even thinking about cheating, especially if nothing physical has occurred yet.
Husbands r like stray animals once their wives are busy with children .... they find this situation as golden opportunity, they do that just to have fun in other words they are 'born cheaters'
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
(Tasweer shahkaar wo lakhon main bik gai ...
bacha jis main bagair roti k udaas hai)
That's a sexist article. Why wasn't there a statistic of how many of the cheating men had cheating spouses? Man I tell you in this day and age, and through relationships and friends' stories, women cheat just as much...but they are smart when it comes to hiding it, compared to men. I personally had two ex girlfriends, that cheated on me....stop being men lynching female chauvinists, ur camp ain't all vanilla too
What makes men cheat is getting caught.
Frankly this "one true love" thing is what's causing all the harm IMHO. If falling out of love, and moving on to another relationship several times in your life was viewed as the natural way of things, then there wouldn't be so much stigma attached to divorce, you wouldn't have men and women who feel like failures because their "one true love" didn't work out and you wouldn't have children who felt out-casted because mommy and daddy aren't together anymore.
Also I think there would be a revival in the idea of family and marriage, as a major reason people don't marry now is because they don't think they've found their "one true love"
;;theres always someone on the receiving end too. dont just blame the man...
I don't disagree with you, but how does then one "leave" a relationship without doing harm to those involved? partner/kids etc?
You see, the premice of the one true love is that you spend the rest of your life together and probably bring a few kids into the world.
Doesn't exist Brit, it's an invention of fairy tales and Harlequin. There are many many people we can fall in and out of love with in our lifetimes.
So what you are suggesting is that "we can fall in love" many times during our lifetime.
So what happens to your "one true love" ?
It's natural for men and women to bond together for indeterminate lengths of time for the purpose of rearing children and companionship, so really monogamy is natural to humans, but not for the lengths we try to impose on it through marriage.
It's natural for people to have several long-term mates throughout their lifetime, or we wouldn't feel this thing called "love"
I thought I send you a friendsheep request?? LOL
Are you giving your full attention to Mrs. Expat? LOL
with regards to my job...I am not a cheater.. I am just an excellent multi-tasker! my job is not neglected in any possible way..posting on QL doesn't affect the achievements either...everything gets done in a shortest possible time and with the great result...
One of my hands is typing the letter, the phone receiver is between my ear and my shoulder, the second hand is typing the post on QL..at the same time I give some instruction at the office, look over newspaper, and make a schedule for the next day in my mind..in fact, i could manage even more tasks.. :).. and the key things: if i spend some time on QL, no one gets hurt by that...
so you cannot compare it with cheating on your wife/husband
*********************
“You become responsible forever for what you have tamed”. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
I am dissatisfied with my partner.. She does not give me the attention I need..
Abyone out there to help me rediscover my self esteem and lust for life????????????
Don't think of it as "cheating" , but helping a fellow human being who is down in the dumps..
lol yano don't mind darude he cheats with camels and donkeys :p
Anyways after reading this i'm sure a lot of men MIGHT consider cheating even more now as they have this whole "emotional dissatisfaction" excuse, some will say their wife's are all the way back home so whats there to cheat they wont find out anyways. But then does that make it right? some say that what u don't know wont hurt you. As a man i can say yes i have thought about other women when i was with my girlfriend but that doesn't mean given the right opportunity to cheat i would have gone through with it. Its all a matter of choice, there's nothing wrong with men who don't cheat either. so my advice to men that are thinking of cheating...DONT GET CAUGHT! lol j/k
Good Fortune always comes knocking at your door...when you are sh*tting in the toilet!! :)
_[]~SMoKE~[]_
"darude said..
you shouldnt be breathing too then or talk around with fellas at wor because thats also cheating moron"
such a nice way to chat eh?!
now who's behaving like a real moron here??
very very very nice jejeje
way to go MORON ;)
breathing too then or talk around with fellas at wor because thats also cheating moron
everyday, you are stealing on company's time by attending to QL forums either reading or replying...
that is cheating on a lesser scale, and if you can commit cheating that way, surely enough, chances are high you'll be tempted to cheat on other matters as well...
anybody here can say he/she is not guilty??
I CAN'T!! I'm GUILTY AS CHARGED :(
women talk after sex....
In this modern world, internet is the great equalizer.
"Everything in this book may be wrong." Illusions: The Adventures of The Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach
The constitution of marriage is not natural! It is made up by man. Human nature, which includes sexual attitudes is as natural as the air we breath. Men and woman are attracted to each others looks and/or personality. If you think your husband or wife is not checking other people physical being out then you have an issue. Now with that being said, it doesn't mean that your partner is going to cheat on you Because you are satisfying their every needs so there will be no need to stray. But; if we are to react badly towards or partners for doing something that is natural than we are going to loose faith in our partners. We will conjure up all sorts of things in our minds and cause our own demise in our relationship.
I am always excited to go to sleep! In anticipation of the new experience I will find awaiting me.
ukengQatar... i like that :) lol
Hats off for you then, madam chinitasai08..lol
Junx - in our family only boys cheat... lol :)
nvr tried cheating...
Sorry folks
EMOTIONAL DISSATISFACTION . . . The problem is that men are less likely than women to express these feelings, so you won't always know when your guy is in need of a little affirmation. "Most men consider it unmanly to ask for a pat on the back, which is why their emotional needs are often overlooked,"
Neuman says. "But you can create a marital culture of appreciation and thoughtfulness -- and once you set the tone, he's likely to match it."
Honestly some cheaters just need a mental and soul cavity search.
My best advise, is not to do what you wish for, is how well you coil and keep those secrets or hidden skeletons, If you decide to do it, always consider that it will or could miss fire or the truth could always ricochet right in your face.
In other words, how much weight could you carry in your conscience, I rather live with my flirts, instead of burning out with cheating.
“Be fearful when others are greedy, and be greedy when others are fearful,”
May be RP can answer that Junx
-----------------
HE WHO DARES WINS
UkEngQatar...lol....that was a gud one.... Now why does that remind me of RED_POPE.... ;)
Your a Cheater is you get caught.
If you dont then your a Cheatah (the one that got away
-----------------
HE WHO DARES WINS
Hmmm...sulmansaeed ..."WHY DON'T SOME PEOPLE CHEAT?
coz they are being cheated???"
Now what are you trying to say??
A young boy goes to the church to confess..
John: O father I have sinned.
Priest: O what have you done my son
John: I have slept with a girl, but I cant tell you her name.
Priest: Was it Hairy Mary
John: No Father I cannot say
Priest: Was it Lucy Loose
John: Father I am at no liberty to say
Priest: Was it Sarah softbottom
John: Father I cannot say
Priest: It must have been Lisa leggy
John: says Father I cannot say after he leaves the confession booth.
John's mate David was eagerly waiting outside. So how did it go. John said.. I have 1 definate and 3 good leads that we can checkout..
-----------------
HE WHO DARES WINS
Hmmm...sulmansaeed ..."WHY DON'T SOME PEOPLE CHEAT?
coz they are being cheated???"
Now what are you trying to say??
osman..using your definition. Strike your fingers onto your palm from the same hand thus making a clapping noise. qed
I may be blonde but I am wise
smile lots laugh more
eh?? what do you mean I am desperate? desperate to confess or what?
*********************
“You become responsible forever for what you have tamed”. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
WHY DON'T SOME PEOPLE CHEAT?
coz they are being cheated:P
lolz
qatarisun
I know that you are desperate and ready to confess all those cheating skils with me.
“Be fearful when others are greedy, and be greedy when others are fearful,”
Osman..you need a little life experience by what you've said. Firstly google NOMAD and realise it has NOTHING to do with being a player. I use the word player due to your age on your profile. Secondly, there is something to the saying, "you get what you give"
Osman..do you realise you just contradicted yourself? Your friend can clap with one hand but it isn't clapping? It's clapping with one hand, what else? albeit some may argue not in the traditional manner, but still making the clapping noise :) Semantics
I may be blonde but I am wise
smile lots laugh more
chinitasai08...lol...r u saying you are the only one in your family who dont' cheat...?? ;)
thanks for all ur comments :)
i posted this article coz am a little bit curious...
my father, brother, cousins, uncles and some friends are cheaters...
now i know...
i thnk i agree with MD... nxt question should be
WHY DON'T SOME PEOPLE CHEAT?
LOL brit...but I was actually referring to something my pysch lecturer showed us...the sound of one hand clapping, it can be done. You and your mind, need i say more?
I may be blonde but I am wise
smile lots laugh more
I was thinking of the following:
The soldiers are tired and lonely after spending weeks in enemy territory. To entertain them, the Major called for this sexy dancer from the nearby town.
She came, danced and when the first dance was done, the soldiers went mad. They clapped for 5 minutes.
For her second number, she stripped and danced in sheer bra and G-string. This time the applause went for 10 minutes.
The next number she danced topless, and this time the applause went on and on. The Major had to come on stage and ask them to quiet down for the grand finale.
For her last number, she was to strip completely and dance naked. The Major expected the soldiers to make enough noise to bring the roof down. But ten minutes later, there is no clapping and the dancer comes backstage.
The Major asks her, "What happened? How come there was no clapping this time?"
She replied with a wicked smile, "Major, how do you expect those poor boys to clap with one hand?"
The article has some valid points, however it works both ways.Most women seem to work through these issues without cheating. However when some women do cheat, society is harder on them, than the men. If a man cheats, people seem to justify it, she must have done something to make him cheat, if a man cheats, its "oh poor man, hos wife drove him to cheating.
Actually...Men cheat??? No they dont.. Women juzt think they cheat..thats all...
Now brit...why would you call me a devil ?? :)
I may be blonde but I am wise
smile lots laugh more
agreed with Mallrat.
WOMAN MAKES MAN CHEAT
NO DOUBT..........................
NEPAL
kyada gir gir karegato cheating to karnai padegana.
NEPAL
You devil you..
tcom..remind me to show you one hand clapping :)
I may be blonde but I am wise
smile lots laugh more
Just to add some statistics...however I am unsure of cultural variable and how old this is
http://www.menstuff.org/issues/byissue/infidelitystats.html
I may be blonde but I am wise
smile lots laugh more
Precisely....
Jokes aside.. I can't imagine myself ever cheating.. It takes two to tango and both parties must take the blame..
Two hands are needed to clap
[img_assist|nid=50852|title=hmm|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]
So...final conclusion... Both parties cheat well...
Exactly the same thing that makes a women cheat
[img_assist|nid=50852|title=hmm|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]
Next QL trip - Papua New Guinea, here we come!!!
*****************************************
Life is short. Live it to the fullest!
it is in their nature to cheat.
If men wants to be appreciated women should be appreciated
If men wants to have enough love and attention, women should also deserve to have love and attention
it is a matter of trust with each other and at the same time give and take.
it is unfair if a women will always give while the other only receives.
it might be unsatisfied?.... unhappy....
:)
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
CONFUSE ............ if you cannot convince!
Nice to know, now that I am married.
Yeah.. What can we do if one lady comes and stands in front of us, who is hotter than our ladies.... lol
There r hot women... & der r HOTTER women...!!! Dont blame us, v just give compliments...!!! :)
lol.. brit.. but every husband sais the same... in this case there is no chance for the married woman to cheat?:(
*********************
“You become responsible forever for what you have tamed”. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
How come always the male species get blamed?? I know a lot of ladies who cheat around and walk around proud... So what are they??? Innocent Angels??
Googled it.. Don't want to share my woman but want to share other's..
Does that make sense ??
MD, if so...then google it for me too, brit ..:)
*********************
“You become responsible forever for what you have tamed”. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
google it, brit. But be prepared that women also do what they want when they want.
indeed greentea.... ;)
Is there a direct flight to Papua New Guinea or do i have to stop off in Dubai ?
we have to make it clear that the culprit is not only women =))
and I agree with MD on this point... cheating only physically is not even a cheating, 'specially for men..
it is normal.. so at least don't cover the normal instinct with some nice wrapper like "emotional dissatisfaction" or whatever nonsense..
*********************
“You become responsible forever for what you have tamed”. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Let me say it more clearly; there are societies where promiscuity is "normal". Man meets woman and they do it. Or woman meets man and they do it. This applies to societies where the weather is fine, food supply is not a problem, and where the whole society takes care of the offspring. (Papua New Guinea, for example). We are victims of short food supply, bad weather, and the funny institution of the 'family'.
lol to that greentea....
.
.okay fine....
.
.women and men, then....
.lol
.
.
only "women"? ;)
.what makes men cheat?
.
.women.....
.
yeah brit.. bumpy bits sound much more like a real reason, rather than all this “emotional” stuff, which men even hate to hear and talk about at the first place!
rayyz.."How the hell they managed to find 200 cheating men"? you must be kedding.. take any 206 men and that's how you will find 200 cheating...another 6 don't cheat at least once in a life time, due to some very strong reason like hard disease, total isolation, or total impotence...
*********************
“You become responsible forever for what you have tamed”. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
tess, women are made from the same stuff. Each and every cell tends to mate. And that is immanent in the whole organism.
Life is short. Live it to the fullest!
You say it, eagle.
MD has a point there. So not cheating is "against the order of nature"!! :p
*****************************************
Life is short. Live it to the fullest!
Indeed, if the men showed more care and affection and the women can be ladies of leisure ie. didn't have to work, then there would be a lot less cheating and everything would be fine...
/Provided the gardener and the tv repair man aren't cheetah-like. ;)
*****************************************
Life is short. Live it to the fullest!
lol MD,...
Humans are born cheaters. The norms, morals, and laws make them feel guilty for doing something absolutely natural. So the question should really be: Why don't some people cheat? What's wrong with them?
Alrighty then... emotional dissatisfaction as the primary reason, huh? Did they communicate that dissatisfaction in the first place? Or do they communicate by osmosis? That's my favourite description of the ones who think that just because they think or know something, it's automatically clear to everybody else...
And even if women affirm their men often, many a time, the latter tend to take things for granted in due course of time. When things become routine, some of them no longer notice or appreciate that affirmation or whatever.
The rest of the article is hogwash (no offense to OP). Life is full of justifications. Weak minded individuals (whether men or women) will justify everything till the cows come home. It depends on a person's priorities and it takes strength of character and principles to stick to one's commitment to whatever in life - whether to one's partner or to one's job.
Women also cheat and for the same main reason - lack of communication. Hinting is usually not good enough. Being too direct is not good enough either cos have to take care of some men's fragile egos (I said "SOME"). So it's a lose-lose situation for the most part. When lacking in communication, frustrations build up and thus, a ticking time bomb is set to go off... And when it does (note, I didn't say "if"), then things can go either way..
*****************************************
Life is short. Live it to the fullest!
So if our partners showed more care and affection and we didn't have to work, then there would be a lot less cheating and everything would be fine.
Why do women cheet? Because their men are not the cheetahs they married, fast and furious. ;)
*****************************************
Life is short. Live it to the fullest!
there should be "what makes women cheat as well"... :P
How the hell they managed to find 200 cheating men in the first place!?
----------------------
3000 QL Points
Way to go Ray!
----------------------
Now can we get some percentages and facts on why women cheat??? :)
Never forget the things that really do matter...
consciouseffort - You are absolutely right. I cheet on my wife all the time for same reasons :)
Ban Spoon Feeding not Me
We like to feel needed and loved.. Plus the major factor is the women enticing us with their bumpy bits and perfumes / dress.
They should be banned.
Husbands r like stray animals once their wives are busy with children & they dont need any excuse to cheat, they do that just to have fun
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
CONFUSE ............ if you cannot convince!
(Tasweer shahkaar wo lakhon main bik gai ...
bacha jis main bagair roti k udaas hai)
K.. Now i know why i am weak in maths....
Now what percent of who is actually true??
K.. Now i know why i am weak in maths....
Now what percent of who is actually true??
yeah..yeah yeah.."48% of men rated emotional dissatisfaction as the primary reason they cheated"...blah blah blah.. they want us to believe it!
*********************
“You become responsible forever for what you have tamed”. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry