Ladies and gentle beans, horses and mules. I have come here before you, to stand behind you to tell you of something I know nothing about. Admission is free, so pay at the door, pull up a chair and sit on the floor.
One bright day, in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight. Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise, and came and shot the two dead boys. If you don`t believe this lie is true, ask the blind man. She saw it too!
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There was this man from Rangoon
who farted and filled a baloon
It went up so high
in the middle of sky
that it straight away struck moon.
---X---
While I sat with Pr. Arroyo at tea
She inquired "Do you fart when you pee?"
I replied "not a bit.
Do you belch when you shit?"
And I felt that was one point above QL Philipee.
There is this boss name Martin
From whom I am about to be parting
On my way out
You may hear me shout
It's your face I'd like to fart-in
---x---
There is this young lady named Kelly
Who had a big bulge for a belly
Her pants were so tight
we had to take flight
because the noises she made were so smelly
A flatulent lady named Marta
was widely renowned as a farter
On the strength of one bean
she'd fart 'God save the Queen'
And Beethovens 'Moonlight Sonata'
---x---
And this guy called Carter
was also a renowned farter
He gives reason
with great passion
that when I fart Sir I fart from my heart
Those 2 were poems, not limericks
Here are 2 limericks:
There was a young lady named Rose
Who had a large wart on her nose
When she had it removed
Her appearance improved
But her glasses slipped down to her toes
There was a young lady called Mary
Whose legs were incredibly hairy
But this didn't phase her
She bought a new razor
And now they are smooth as a cherry
Ladies and gentle beans, horses and mules. I have come here before you, to stand behind you to tell you of something I know nothing about. Admission is free, so pay at the door, pull up a chair and sit on the floor.
One bright day, in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight. Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise, and came and shot the two dead boys. If you don`t believe this lie is true, ask the blind man. She saw it too!
i have one i still remember from the school days..
one fine day, in the middle of the night,
two dead men, got up to fight,
back to back, they faced each other,
drew their swords, and shot each other....
i hope it not that pathetic..
Cheers