Lonely? - Please be very careful out there !

britexpat
By britexpat

(6 August 2008, Hong Kong)

It's dark. You're lonely. Why not?

That was how 41-year-old Xian found himself face down on a bench, and calling for help in the middle of the night. The lonely man had noticed that the steel sit-up benches in LanTian Park had numerous ventilation holes, and thought it might be possible to use the enticing orifices for sexual gratification.

Once Xian became aroused, he found that he was stuck and could not remove his member from the hole in the bench. Quite understandably, he panicked. Police received a disturbing call from a man in trouble, and arrived to find poor Xian trapped face down on the bench.

Doctors were summoned to the scene. They tried to relieve the pressure by draining blood from the organ, but it was too swollen to budge. Emergency workers had to cut the entire bench free and take it, with Xian attached, to the hospital.

Four painful hours later, doctors finally separated Xian from his bench. If he had been stuck for even an hour longer, the lack of blood flow would have caused sufficient damage that doctors would have been forced to remove his phallus.

This is one bad date that Xian will never forget.

By Rizks• 21 Oct 2008 15:12
Rizks

heero_yuy ...... good Point !!

But i guess instead of lubricant he used GLUE...:)

By heero_yuy2• 21 Oct 2008 15:08
heero_yuy2

"Everything in this book may be wrong." Illusions: The Adventures of The Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach

By smartbuddy• 21 Oct 2008 12:58
smartbuddy

stupidity has no limits.......

By Vivo Bonito• 21 Oct 2008 12:26
Vivo Bonito

laughing here...

i cant help myself laughing imagining how would your faces look like after my comment...

brit.. it was the same case when i was a kid... i inserted my finger at the mouth of the 12oz. Coca Bottle and unexpectedly my finger stucked in... so i have to settle to break the bottle though my finger remains the same size ...

By yano_08• 21 Oct 2008 12:15
yano_08

nasty things happens when common sense lose it senses...

By Passion• 21 Oct 2008 12:14
Passion

very weird...

By britexpat• 21 Oct 2008 12:11
britexpat

I am getting a little worried about you..

Fingers don't usually expand when extra blood begins to circulate..

By britexpat• 21 Oct 2008 12:11
britexpat

I am getting a little worried about you..

Fingers don't usually expand when extra blood begins to circulate..

By Flammable• 21 Oct 2008 12:08
Flammable

vivo - LOL :)

-- F L A M M A B L E --

By Peppermint• 21 Oct 2008 12:05
Peppermint

Vivo Bonito -- or better look for the sign... "ONE SIZE FITS ALL"! lol!=D

“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.”

By Xray• 21 Oct 2008 11:52
Xray

LOL...

By zayd• 21 Oct 2008 11:51
zayd

In Xian's defense, that's one sexy bench.

By Vivo Bonito• 21 Oct 2008 11:46
Vivo Bonito

MORAL LESSON IN THIS MISHAP:

BE CAUTIOUS! test to insert with your finger first... lolz...

By Xray• 21 Oct 2008 11:43
Xray

;-) but people somehow manage it...

By smoke• 21 Oct 2008 11:39
smoke

Xray we all know getting "release" in qatar is a big headache lol you always need NOC letter

Good Fortune always comes knocking at your door...when you are sh*tting in the toilet!! :)

_[]~SMoKE~[]_

 

By britexpat• 21 Oct 2008 11:39
britexpat

I've seen men doing "push ups" and all sorts of exercise on the Corniche, so perhaps they will just blend in..

By Xray• 21 Oct 2008 11:37
Xray

no comments.. everybody knows how to get release...

By Gypsy• 21 Oct 2008 11:35
Gypsy

Careful Brit, you're going to give the men here ideas. The Corniche won't be safe for virgin eyes anymore.

By britexpat• 21 Oct 2008 11:32
britexpat

Perhaps a pack of wet wipes with disinfectant will suffice and will be easier than carting around the chair..

By andrei23• 21 Oct 2008 10:51
andrei23

no comment.. weheheh

By Amoud• 21 Oct 2008 10:51
Amoud

yeeekkhh, Alexa, now that you have pointed that out I am gonna have to carry a beach chair around with me.

"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock - Will Rogers"

By Xray• 21 Oct 2008 10:17
Xray

thats why just think once before action...

By smoke• 21 Oct 2008 10:04
smoke

he looks like the guy who likes being on TOP :p which only goes to say never think u can just wham bham thank you bench! I hope he's learnt his lesson on one night stands!

Good Fortune always comes knocking at your door...when you are sh*tting in the toilet!! :)

_[]~SMoKE~[]_

 

By Peppermint• 21 Oct 2008 09:57
Peppermint

and the bench loves him back and dont want him to let go!=D

“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.”

By Arien• 21 Oct 2008 09:53
Arien

Lol brit.. chinese and got stuck?? the hole must have been really small then.

By smoke• 21 Oct 2008 09:53
smoke

another case of a man who does not "think before you poke"

Good Fortune always comes knocking at your door...when you are sh*tting in the toilet!! :)

_[]~SMoKE~[]_

 

By britexpat• 21 Oct 2008 09:49
britexpat

Apparently he has been named as being Mr Lee tell Wun ..

By Fatcat• 21 Oct 2008 09:47
Fatcat

Well, brit, I guess the hole is big enough for some people ;)

By smoke• 21 Oct 2008 09:46
smoke

well atleast he was decent enough to not get up and leave in the morning without even saying thank you :)

Good Fortune always comes knocking at your door...when you are sh*tting in the toilet!! :)

_[]~SMoKE~[]_

 

By janeyjaney• 21 Oct 2008 09:43
janeyjaney

:( "Desperate times call for desperate measures!" No time for cuddling!! Just get on with it! haha It's not like the bench is going to cuddle back?? Is it?

By britexpat• 21 Oct 2008 09:15
britexpat

He was using his arms to "cuddle" the bench.. strewth, you're unromantic,,

By janeyjaney• 21 Oct 2008 09:10
janeyjaney

He has hands, doesn't he?

By Andrews• 21 Oct 2008 09:05
Andrews

Ohhhhhhh my god..........Brit u cracked me up

By King29• 21 Oct 2008 08:58
King29

What protection... he has already damaged the bench. I hope there are no more benches with holes.... poor rescue team

By Peppermint• 21 Oct 2008 08:50
Peppermint

Oooooouch!=D

“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.”

By Flammable• 21 Oct 2008 08:43
Flammable

LMAO :))

-- F L A M M A B L E --

By Amoud• 21 Oct 2008 08:43
Amoud

I love Brits posts, better than the recent stuff we have been seeing here... Keep posting Brit, these little reads go great with my morning coffee.

"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock - Will Rogers"

By someonenew• 21 Oct 2008 08:39
someonenew

ANother one for ur tabloid eh brit?

I dream of a better tomorrow where Chickens can cross the Road without having their motives questioned - Unknown

By Rizks• 21 Oct 2008 08:33
Rizks

Did He USE PROTECTIONS ???.....:(

By wizmotr• 21 Oct 2008 08:33
wizmotr

That this is a new (or old) urban legend. But no, it seems to be true...

The final caption on the subtitled Chinese news broadcast says that "At least he has proved that not all asian men are small."

{Hey! I'm just reporting what I read...}

--

Since Allah has given me a brain, it would seem like a sin not to use it.

By britexpat• 21 Oct 2008 08:32
britexpat

how do you know about such things ???

Anyway, he's Chinese remember..

By Fatcat• 21 Oct 2008 08:31
Fatcat

But don't the holes look a bit too small?

By labda06• 21 Oct 2008 08:27
labda06

hahahahahaha!!! Brit!!! You just crack me up....ROFL!

------------Virgos dont like chaos, gerrit? ----------

By King29• 21 Oct 2008 08:21
King29

They could have releived much earlier.. just cut it off

By Acesup1234• 21 Oct 2008 08:16
Acesup1234

I hope I am still that horny at age 41. I hope I make better choices though on how to relieve my horniness.

Never forget the things that really do matter...

By Bahraini83• 21 Oct 2008 08:10
Bahraini83

he was damn h**** .. but holes in a bench!!

GEEEEEEEEz

Log in or register to post comments

More from Qatar Living

Qatar’s top beaches for water sports thrills

Qatar’s top beaches for water sports thrills

Let's dive into the best beaches in Qatar, where you can have a blast with water activities, sports and all around fun times.
Most Useful Apps In Qatar - Part Two

Most Useful Apps In Qatar - Part Two

This guide brings you the top apps that will simplify the use of government services in Qatar.
Most Useful Apps In Qatar - Part One

Most Useful Apps In Qatar - Part One

this guide presents the top must-have Qatar-based apps to help you navigate, dine, explore, access government services, and more in the country.
Winter is coming – Qatar’s seasonal adventures await!

Winter is coming – Qatar’s seasonal adventures await!

Qatar's winter months are brimming with unmissable experiences, from the AFC Asian Cup 2023 to the World Aquatics Championships Doha 2024 and a variety of outdoor adventures and cultural delights.
7 Days of Fun: One-Week Activity Plan for Kids

7 Days of Fun: One-Week Activity Plan for Kids

Stuck with a week-long holiday and bored kids? We've got a one week activity plan for fun, learning, and lasting memories.
Wallet-friendly Mango Sticky Rice restaurants that are delightful on a budget

Wallet-friendly Mango Sticky Rice restaurants that are delightful on a budget

Fasten your seatbelts and get ready for a sweet escape into the world of budget-friendly Mango Sticky Rice that's sure to satisfy both your cravings and your budget!
Places to enjoy Mango Sticky Rice in  high-end elegance

Places to enjoy Mango Sticky Rice in high-end elegance

Delve into a world of culinary luxury as we explore the upmarket hotels and fine dining restaurants serving exquisite Mango Sticky Rice.
Where to celebrate World Vegan Day in Qatar

Where to celebrate World Vegan Day in Qatar

Celebrate World Vegan Day with our list of vegan food outlets offering an array of delectable options, spanning from colorful salads to savory shawarma and indulgent desserts.