Is there true love left in this world ?

But not THAT old :)

it is hard to find true love in this generation, try going back from the past, say 100 years ago.. :/

[img_assist|nid=12867|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.

True love is very strong and can withstand all kinds of assault FROM OUTSIDE. But a breach of trust kills it dead in a single shot.

Supposing she does forgive him and he grovels etc. He would still get away with murder, scott-free. Once he gets away with it, next time he will be more careful and will not be caught. But, he will cheat again, as sure as the sun rises in east and sets in west.

The only way is for her to leave right now and file for separation, alimony, support and whatever she can get.

This will hit him where it hurts and give them both time to figure things out. If, after a minimum of 6 months they do want to get back together, then she should reconsider but only with cast-iron guarantees and full financial control. Also insist on an VD check for safety and driving home the humiliation that he deserves. Not otherwise.

Cheating is not about sex most of the time. It's about power. He has abused the power she vested in him. She needs to take it back. It's as simple as that.

Love? my left foot.

qatari Sun.. I m waiting for your reply on the other forum (lebenas forum ) ..

pls :)

If she can't have contentment with the former, how can he also have contentment if she married the other one when they get 'there'?

It's just the guy's 'old habit'. Any woman who will get in a relationship with him will not succeed in any bright future.

We warned them. They didn't listen.

"Everything in this book may be wrong." Illusions: The Adventures of The Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach

I agree with AA, if theres no trust, its very hard to save a marriage. A mistake is maybe once (even though i wont forgive that) but when its been on going for a while, its not a mistake..

There is no excuse for cheating. I can not believe someone would think that because a woman nags her husband will go and cheat on her. Hey if that is the case all men would cheat on their wives. show me one woman who doesn't nag.

maybe coz u nag a lot and the indonesian girl plays the victim and the nice one that's why he fell for the trap.while u were nagging the indonesian lady was showing love.

back in India , women welcome their hubby with love, and they proudly say:so what even after spending night in brothel he comes home

Don't behave like a saint just to be appreciated. Talk real folks. I think just saying kick the moron/cheater take some more fibre in food so taht u go more frequently where the fortune knocks u more often is not a solution. What Qatarisun sys is right. Assuming that all couples meet out of love and there cann't be breach is too idealistic. Who knows true love never existed in the couple an this is the real love the guy got?

I am not apathetic to the lady's pain, but there re wys to deal with it which the couple alone better knows.

well according to the wife the husband has been sleeping with the "friend" on and off for TWO FREAKING YEARS. and now that he's caught he finally realizes his "mistake" and wants to save the "marriage"? YEAH RIGHT 10 years of being together and 4 years outta that in marriage, 2 years from the marriage he's already cheating on his wife and u think he doesnt deserve to be punished? Get real QS everyone deserves a second chance Ok but then there are mistakes u make that cant be solved by second chances, your only thinking from HIS point that he was weak, average man can fall into traps and all that horse crap? what about her, what about her trust, what about her devotion to HIM for those 10 years? they mean nothing?

You cant save a marriage when you cant trust your partner, no one should be put through such a feeling of being cheated on. Your talking about self sacrifice from her side? what about him why didnt he self sacrifice his lust for the other woman instead?

Good Fortune always comes knocking at your door...when you are sh*tting in the toilet!! :)

_[]~SMoKE~[]_

this man is truly.. (^*(%&%^$%##%@##..giving a lame justification.. (^&$$#$%^$@!!!@@#@ ...sorry savazo, got no good words to say here...

i hope God will make you strength to endure the pain for being in this situation..

[img_assist|nid=12867|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.

By the way, we blame on him: moron, cheater, whatever..i pretty much convinced that only this man doesn't cheat(at least once in a life time), who women are not interested in.. there are a lot of bit*hes among women as well… if a woman constantly provides favors, or makes it clear that she is interested in a man, it is hard for the average man to resist… men are weak.. sometimes women are so bad.. some use any possible tricks to get a man into their net.. sometimes it’s the woman who must be blamed.

It looks like that what happened in this case. this "friend" constantly needed his “help” (or pretended to need) and finally he got into the trap of her charm… nothing unusual..rather normal..but..does he deserve a punishment? Or he deserves the help of his wife, who is reflecting on the “true love” subject?

i trully feel for!

stay strong and take time before rushing into a divorce. keep urself busy. if u can, try get a makeover. look good all the time and dont make yourself available.

give him something to think about, a reason not to sleep at night. KILL HIM WITH KINDNESS AND STOP THE FIGHTS!

trust me i have been there.

which country r u from

we all do mistakes..and we all should think before we act.. do we REALLY follow this simple rule??? if we did, the world and life would be just perfect!

"before", he obviously couldn't realize what he is going to do .. he fell and got drown..if he wants to be saved, she should help him, speaking of true love...

but again, this is my point.. i am pretty sure, lot of guys are much more self-centered.. so why to talk about true love?

true love is not only "peaches and cream" as you say... it's a hard job and self-sacrifice..

i assume he wants to save the marriage, and he realizes it was a mistake. I assume he is willing to try and help her to restore the trust. It’s not easy, it’s rather a very hard job.. but if it’s a true love, they together will overcome it. That’s what I mean.

clearbluesky, true love is illusion nowadays for very simple reason. Noone is willing to sacrifice in our materialistc world. It's much easier "to go away, to file for the child support and “look for another husband” (preferrably richer than the previous one!)..

we are talking about true love, aren’t we?

So.. the first thing: what is true love without self- sacrifice? You cannot expect a “true love” only from your partner! You have to be willing to give the true love in return! Going away and FILING FOR DIVORCE AND CHILD SUPPORT, as RocknRoll advises is simple, common, trivial, too practical, and has nothing to do with the true love…

You can call it true love only if you go away for your partner’s sake, and not for your own comfort!

"after so many years"?? is 4 years of marriage "so many"??.. LOL...

this is my point: when you see the couples who are married for 30-40-50 years, don't come to the conclusion, that they only had a happy life, and that cheating, lies, infidelity never had come across! but they were willing to resolve this issue (honor and praise!!), and THAT'S what i would call a TRUE LOVE!

see the difference? if the couple do face some problems in the life, and if they can overcome it with the honor, this is a TRUE LOVE. Sometimes couple NEEDS to go through some stress, in order to evaluate their love!

...moreover, I think to go away is the easiest solution. it is much more difficult to make your soul, your heart working hard. You, your mind, your spirit, your emotional level are growing, and become stronger, when you let them work!

Only in swamp nothing’s happening except of green frog’s plaintive croaking…

...and yes, sure i would forgive, especially if my hubby sincerely wants to save the marriage...

Go back home and File for Divorce. Go for child support, alimony et all. Your life is what you make of it. Don't allow a two-timming sob to turn your life to Cr_p.

Good Luck.

You have a good point there..The problem is that many "abuse" this priveledge also..

I also agree that I wouldn't forgive indidelity after such a long term relationship..

SheDBabe.. I wouldn't be so confident... words "never forgive" are too strong.. you by yourself don't know HOW would you feel and WHAT would you do... and by the way, every time it may be different...

and also i don't believe in "taking lessons from this"... I am pretty sure, there is nothing wrong with the girl, and she "didn't go wrong", and she didn't do any "mistakes"...

it just happend this way, and they have to find the way to overcome it...

Ohhh and I forgot to add - please take the first opportunity to kick his overworked doohickey with all your strength (make sure you are in "your grounds"). Don't you feel better just imagining it.

In my book , the guy is a moron.. He has a relationship and he two times her..If he was unhappy with the relationship, he should have left, rather than "having his cake and eat it"..

bitterly true, no theres never true love in this world. personally, i think love is an illusion. if u have kids, then i advice u be strong for them in this difficult time. i hope u hold on there! :)

"para mi amor esta loca"

i wouldn't call him MORON...as i said, it might happen (and it DOES happens)basically in EVERYONE's life.. it doesn't mean only morons are around.. but the way he/she deals with/comes out of this situation might tell a lot about this person...

.. It happens everywhere, all the time, and basically in everyone’s life. I believe there is NO one person in the world who didn’t face the same situation sooner or later. some couples break up, some couples stay together..

…Even you can see some elder couples who are married maybe for 50 years or more, and they are truly happy together..but it doesn’t mean that their life always was honey and sugar, smooth and untroubled, and that this kind of things never happened in their life. They just were willing to overcome this situation and to save their union. It requires hard work from both sides, hard emotional work… but it’s worth it...

Now you are hurt deeply. But it seems to me that he wouldn’t like to break the marriage (otherwise he WOULDN'T lie to you! He would just say, he met another woman). And if he is willing to stop seeing her and to help you to gain the trust back, it might work, believe me. This kind of “friends” might come across once in a while, but the wife is Wife and your family is your Family.. you need some time, you need maybe some help of the specialists (I would say, both of you need… kind of marriage counseling), and definitely you need his help in restoring your trust…

I hope you both will wise enough to overcome this difficult situation and to save your marriage and stay together. That’s what you would call a TRUE LOVE..

God help you.. Insha’allah!

There are also two timing women and men all over the world..The moron you trusted obviously let his pecker and not his heart drive him..

i say u dump his sorry a$$ as soon as possible. There is no excuse for cheating on ur wife! Had it been the other way around i'm sure he would have done the same to you. What u need my friend right now is to chill out and have some beer with me :)ITs not going to be ok anytime soon but what the hell life's too short to dwell on cheating husbands and asking questions about LOVE!

Good Fortune always comes knocking at your door...when you are sh*tting in the toilet!! :)

_[]~SMoKE~[]_

can't blame him, she's indonesian after all.

A friendly sensible advise - get a check for STD from the nearest clinic. I feel sorry for you and can just hope that you get the strength to deal with the pain.

Infedility... its the reality. Familirialty breeds contempt.. you said your already in 10 years? That made your husband very comfortable, may i say lack of spice or something new in your relationship.

You may thought love hurts. No Pride hurts. It must be your pride that left you hurt, because you are not reeady to accept the fact that he cheated on you. Love is a wonderful thing and thats what you had for those 10 years.

If you cant forgive him and would like to see your life in the next future without him (which you may not yet see now coz ur blinded by the pain) move on, get a new life. Create the life you want.

But one thing is for sure, it can happen again or not in your next relationship but just remember that whatever happens, trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

This situation might want to teach you something, a lesson perhaps about acceptance, forgiveness, humility and true love.

had the same situation also... but now God is really good and giving all the strength to move on...

Frankly speaking there is no love in this world. In fact our minds are setup through media, fiction, stories, etc, etc.... So therefore, we try to find that type of love. One can does true love with their children and parents only, remaining are the likings, it depends what is the intensity of liking. After marriage wife becomes a responsibility and honour which is different from Love.

If we sit in alone and think about it then u will realize that I am saying true..... One who prepares for everything in love, it is a physchological issue which is proven in medical science.

Those who can love truely are left alone in this world!

anyways, what happened to you is not uncommon. you will lern to live with it.