The RULES in DRINKING...

Received this as a spam...Actually it's 86 but i shortened it..

1. Always toast before doing a shot.

2. Buying a woman a drink is still cool.

3. Get the bartender's attention with eye contact and a smile. Do not make eye contact with the bartender if you do not want a drink.

4. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she refuses, she does not like you; if she accepts, she still might not like you. BUT…if she buys you a drink, she likes you.

5. If someone offers to buy you a drink, do not upgrade your liquor preference.

6. Always have a corkscrew in your house; if you don't have a corkscrew, push the cork down into the bottle with a pen.

7. Never talk to someone in the restroom unless you're doing the same thing - urinating, waiting in line or washing your hands.

8. Girls hang out, apply make-up, and have long talks in the bathroom. Men do not.

9. After your sixth drink, do not look at yourself in the mirror. It will shake your confidence.

10. It is only permissible to shout 'woo-hooo!' if you are doing a shot with four or more people.

11. If there is a DJ, you can request a song only once per night. If he doesn't play it within half an hour, don't approach him again. If he does play it, don't approach him again.

12. Never complain about the quality or brand of a free drink.

13. The only thing that tastes better than free liquor is stolen liquor.

14. Learn to appreciate hangovers. If it was all good times every jackass would be doing it.

15. If you ever feel depressed, get out a bartender's guide and browse thru all the drinks you've never tried.

16. Try one new drink each week.

17. It's okay to drink alone.

18. Being drunk is feeling sophisticated without being able to say it.

19. After three drinks, you will forget a woman's name two seconds after she tells you. The rest of the night you will call her "baby" or "darling".

20. Nothing screams 'Gay' louder than swirling an oversized brandy snifter.

21. If you do a shot, finish it. If you don't plan to finish it, don't accept it.

22. If you think you might be slurring a little, then you are slurring a lot. If you think you are slurring a lot, then you are not speaking English.

23. Never lie in a bar. You may, however, grossly exaggerate and lean on it.

24. Fighting an extremely drunk person when you are sober is hilarious.

25. If you're going to hit on a member of the bar staff, make sure you tip well before and after, regardless of her response.

26. Asking a bartender what beers are on tap when the handles are right in front of you is the equivalent of saying, "I'm an idiot."

27. If there is a line for drinks, get your damn drink and step the hell away from the bar.

28. If there is ever any confusion, the fuller beer is yours.

29. It's acceptable, traditional, in fact, to disappear during a night of hard drinking. You will appear mysterious, and your friends will understand…if they even notice.

30. Never argue your tab at the end of the night. Remember, you're hammered, and they're sober. It's akin to a precocious five-year-old arguing the super-string theory with a physicist. 99.9% of the time you're wrong and, either way, you're going to come off as a jackass.

31. If you bring booze to a party, you must drink it or leave it.

32. Beer makes you mellow, champagne makes you silly, wine makes you dramatic, tequila makes you felonious.

33. The greatest thing a drunkard can do is buy a round of drinks for a packed bar.

34. Anyone with three or more drinks in his hands has the right of way.

35. If you're going to drink on the job, drink vodka. It's the no-tell liquor.

36. The bar clock moves twice as fast from midnight to last call.

37. A flask engraved with a personal message is one of the best gifts you can ever give. And make sure there's something in it.

38. On the intimacy scale, sharing a quiet drink is between a handshake and a kiss.

39. You will forget every one of these rules by your fifth drink.

=========== Enjoy life!