loosing your husband...

just reminished the past and bring it back in future im sure it will help u a lot

WE ARE the ones who celebrated our friend's birthday yesterday... was it nice blacky?

anyway, I am happy you are two together again...

***********************

This Too Shall Pass.....

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I am glad he is getting back to you slowly! what did you do? is there any change from your end that prompted that???

May you find peace within both of you...

Salaam

you are right.. we used to have some problems some time ago. But then all the issues have been solved..

..but you know, now we are slowly getting back. I really don't know what his problem is. It might be the type of his personality that causes these problems. But since couple of days ago I can feel that he becomes a loving husband again.  We didn’t go out together for over three weeks until tomorrow, when he invited me to Irish pub again. And we enjoyed the time there so much. It was somebody’s Birthday party there, and all people had fun together. It was really nice night out.

I don't want to make it any worse, but we have shared with you a couple of posts before, and they, or at least one that I recall well, where you indicated signs of a little bit of marriage instability. He doubted you and was edgy and spending time out alone, correct?

I also think you're newly married. If so, I understand that the first year is usually very difficult with a new couple getting together for life. 

Explore and examine what's missing. It might as well be him, who does not deserve you. Or jus that you need not to throw all your weight on and attention to him, although a blessing, but maybe he needs to miss you without making him feel jealous. According to our previous conversation, months ago, he already doubted you while you had a noble reason for being too busy in preparation for his birthday surprise party. 

Best of Luck. All of it.

Salaam 

Life is short but marriage is looooooooooong...,  we give comments and opinions but at the end of the day u will have to decide and make the best choice for urself, hope u will find the best solution. Good luck..

get a beauty make over..new look

 buy new clothes.

Then bugger off down the disco.... you don't have to do anything naughty

Bit of jealousy will keep him on his toes.

If this doesn't work... time to move on.... because he just isn't in to you anymore.

...but giving yourself a break would be the best idea. Ignore him for once. If he's not showing any interest in you, why should you bother, why waste your time trying to please him? Some men are just not worth it. Keep your head up

“People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.”

- Calvin and Hobbes

may b all tht is cos of his work....he always  try to think abt his work...well only i can say..try to divert his thinking..now a days..weather is helpfull..go to beach, 4 fishing..or even just pay a little  to ride on payable boats...

hope it will work out....wish u best o luck

life isnt that simple as much it seems right. well just be bold and have patience.

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may be that's what i will do.. and then i will see if it works... Maybe that's hat he means: go out with your friends, and let me go with mine ones? He keeps saying he doesn't have anybody, he just wants to be left alone...well.. that's what i will do.. and it has been mentioned, I will take care of myself, Gym, Spa, etc..don't think i look bad though.. i am fit and quite attractive :).

thanks guys! I will re-read all this and develop my strategy based on whatt all you have said!!

and again, what a lovely site our QL is!!!

and I agree with you that wife has to dedicate herself to husband as much as she can.. otherwise what kind of wife is she?

Charging, he spends all his time lately with the friends...I never limited his outings..

Have been following this post from the beginning, really feel for you. i can understand what you are going thru' as i have been thru' it. And i am still with my hubby. the best advice i can give you is set him free, if he's yours he will come back to you or else be ready to face the truth. dont push him too much. Just let him be. You enjoy your own life with your friends, relatives, etc. Keep yourself busy, occupied so that you dont have time to think about anything else. for me, I have become a workaholic now. Though my situation is different, (i mean the cultural differences between u and your hubby). Anyways take care. this is just a passing phase.

from both sides, but definitely worth it. Just have to give respect and love to each other...and let each be themselves....

Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. --Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

ohh congratulations Scarlett!! Not an easy task, but certainly a fun one! :D

tra la la

are you married?

Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. --Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

hubby and I are going into our 28th year of marriage.

ost folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. --Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

I don't agree with advices of some people. Marriage is the

serious-most relationship in the world, and some people are suggesting

you to let him go. This option shouldn't even be mentioned, in my

opinion.

I don't know much about the specific case of

yours, but what I can understand from above is that he wants some

space from you. Is it because you are being too much interfering in his

affairs? Check if you are advising or guiding him too much and not

letting him live relatively free? Do you allow him spend some time,

even though little, with his friends? etc.

Putting myself in his shoes, I think that such attitude in men can only rise when women are totally dominating their husbands and deprive him of fresh air, or secondly, using bad language for his relatives. There might be more to this, therefore you should talk to him in a very friendly and relaxed way to open him more.

congrats ABU AMERICAN we comin up 18 yrs come may too my oh my how time flies...... 

life's too short so make the most of it, you only live but once.......

but at the same time, be enough of yourself that you aren't used as a doormat and maid. He fell in love with you once...sometimes women get so wrapped up in the other stuff, like home and children, that we forget who WE are...remember..that woman that made conversations interesting, the tease, all those fun things...But at the same time...men need to remember that they have their requirements to fulfill also...its a 50/50 situation. Good luck...

Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. --Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

what kind of wife is that is she doesn't pay attention on her husband? what if he needs he to be there for him, and she is not there?? of course it should work both directions...and I am not one of these moody persons.. rather he is..

Habiba.. i agree with you as well.. this is a top level of sacrifying.. to be honset, i am ready for it... if he thinks his future will be better without me, well. good luck! eventually all i want is him to be happy..

your inbox should be full now 'nice people' volunteering to ease your pain and shower you with attention...

Anyway, on a serious note, its really sad to read your story...

One thing I can tell you about men...

men lose interest when its too easy

I take my wife for granted... sometimes...

but when she doesn't pay me enough attention... it just drives me crazy!!

how many years you are together?

Sometimes loving a person also means letting them go!

Maryum : Umm Hasan bint Abdullah Alshabrawishi

We need to get to the root of the problem......one thing I know is that you need to search yourself.Why, one will only get what he or she is willing to give.

My question is "did you give enough love?"

Love radiates.It can never be demanded.

If you sincere satisfied yourself that you have given everything and your hubby is not gving in, that means it is time to move forward.

Just see this as yor trying period.

Scartlett - Her Husband was with us on thursday night at Orion. what the big fuss. We were thrown out from Ramada for overstaying :)

Ask him whether he is ready to love you like as you want or not..

Tell him that this is the last time you will be asking the same qn.

If ye says No.

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Go ahead....

RAPE HIM !!!!

hi blackcat..... be yourself. firstly gather all your courage and sit and talk with him with an open mind. ask him what is really bothering him and if he says he has someone else then it would be best to move on.. this beautiful world has so many dreams .dont get tied up to a dead dream. find what u really want to do from now on and go get it lady...everyone deserves to be happy and have joy in life. all the best for all your future plans

not you...also..hate to say it, even tho he said there is no one else, WHERE is he until 1 am????

Gather up what's left of your pride, get yourself all gussied up, and GET OUT of the house. Perhaps you gave of yourself too much..men get bored with being waited on hand and foot and in the end, will take you for granted and go search for someone who is a "challenge" to them...the same thing you were when you first met him. I mean..why come home when you are there to take care of the house stuff, like laundry and cooking and kids...so he can go out and play???

You ARE in big demand over here...go have fun..I wouldn't go on dates, since you are still married, but enjoy yourself!! Find YOU again...you've gotten lost in being the doormat for too long...

Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. --Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

treat him as the way he treated you...he he he...in that way he will be thinking too how to win your attention back...

i will try to be strong.. Abu, your are right. he is the looser not me...

you guys really give me a hope.. promiss to be there for me any time i need you,ok?

and thanks QL.. every time it makes someone's life a bit easier!

Blackcat, don't wait for him to go out, he knows it's hard to find a place, so you do, the best thing is let him take his own medicine, he don't mind you at all anymore, then do the same, leave it like that, you live in the same roof but not minding to each other, don't cook for him, don't wash his clothes, but don't ask money for grocery, sounds fair??? 

"There's nothing we can do to change the past, if it teaches  you a lesson profit from it then, forget it."

Did not read all the comments. Here is my advise.

We Arab men suffer certain loads and insecurity every now and then.  Simply because most of our governments do not provide social security and retirement schemes. Besides, we are usually 100% responsible for financing our family and somehow, have to finance our parents and direct relatives. All of this might not be the reason.

Just act as if everything is normal. Give it some time. Don't put pressure on him and have him feel guilty.

If this situation lasted for a long period, try to pull his legs for a holiday and there you can re-establish/discuss your relationship. Women always have tricks. Come on.

Good luck

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Just realize that you deserve to be happy....introspect and see what will make you happy (that is feasable....like you cannot MAKE someone love you)....and take the long term view.....listen to your heart.

I'm sorry about your trouble and I wish you the best.

Stay safe.

Perfection does not exist. The question therefore, is: what level of imperfection are we willing to settle for?

blackcat, then the time is the answer... just free your heart dear.. and follow your instinct tell you to do. if you can stay and put up with the situation then stay.. if not go and fly away.. grab another dreams.

you are right.. there are plenty of men around asking for date. but... i do not want it!

i think i was absent when my teacher teaching diff races.. hehhe

i am white

ladypink, caucasian means she is white/westerner

"I asked God, 'How do I get the best out of life?' God said, 'Face your past without regrets. Handle your present with confidence. And prepare for the future without fear!'

aha.. so thats the problem, can you go home to your country and find job there and forget about him??? or go to another country and start new life.

in my guess he is done with you as he said to you. sorry this happend to you dear.. you got my deepest symphaty.

really you need to collect all your energy and money to get your next step. please talk to your friends/family maybe they can help you out. let you stay for free till you can afford your own place.

please be brave. you still young and beautiful, there will plenty men asking for date as soon as you free your heart from him

"I asked God, 'How do I get the best out of life?' God said, 'Face your past without regrets. Handle your present with confidence. And prepare for the future without fear!'

what is caucasian? hehe sorry?!!

we are from different parts of the world..he is arab, i am caucasian.  and also he is younger than me.

dont you worry so much abot your hubbies interest towards you.. let it be.. its your time now to do what you wanted to do.. stop thinking about himm think about your self now.. dont let him bring you down.. cheer up girl its not the end of the world. go out with your friend.. spend your time in QL.. all of this people here seems enjoying their self here.. im only new in QL but i enjoyed it a lot.. i dont even bother to get lunch.. theres a lot of things to do. or maybe give him sometime to think he will realize in the end how much he loves you.. also.. if he dont talk to you dont talk to him also.. dont say i love you to him either or whatsoever.. show him you are also cold to him. but make sure u are always good looking and smelling good even if he comes home late.. maybe u are nugging on him.. mens hate to be nugged!! its better you keep quite.. dont show him you are crying also.. it will make his head big. be strong!!

Blackcat, mind if i ask you the question, "where are you from originaly? and your husband too please?"  

"I asked God, 'How do I get the best out of life?' God said, 'Face your past without regrets. Handle your present with confidence. And prepare for the future without fear!'

This is most women problem after same years of marriage

Try to go for vacation both together and alone to same were new

or you should take break and go alone

or keep away from him for same time try not to be in front of him all time so he miss you and don’t call him so often

also try to change you look your clothe and so on

Just my idea ,I am not expert

with something. it looks like he just doesn't want me in his life anymore. so.. should I MOVE out? and WHERE? and HOW??? I am emotionally killed, i feel so down.. for sure I won't have energy, physical and emotional, to look for the place , spesially you will never find any place to live in Doha...and I don';t have physical and emotional energy to move on.. i feel like i am frozen..

Some people can be soo ungreatful. Did he loose his intrest in his mom, dad

brothers or sisters???  

It's always the small things that make big differences.

means he is angry with you on something. you better check that out and clear  the misunderstanding soon.

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I asked him just yesterday, I invite you for the dinner. He said: I don't want anything from you. I don't want to go out with you. Go yourself.

he can go.. but it doesn't look like he wants to move out of our flat.. as i know whoever wants to leave, just pick up his/her stuff and go away... so why he doesn't do it??

  ask him out for a date. yea yea yea he is your husband. just do it like the first time you did.

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then u should do what he says.. why worry about him when he is not worry about you. really you need to get a life outside him gal.. come on.. there is many ladies outhere you can meet with common interests with you. call up your gf and arrange girls nite out... who needs men when we have our gf... hehehehe

but make sure you knows your boundaries and limit. so have fun with yourself.

but how??? where should i live?? yes, i work, but it won't be enogh for me to pay for my own accommodation.. and I am not willing to share with anybody.. how physically to execute t his "MOVE ON"??? what are step by step thing to do?

It sounds more like someone who wants out of the relationship but doesn't have the guts to admit it than a loving spouse.....sorry blackcat.

Stay safe.

Perfection does not exist. The question therefore, is: what level of imperfection are we willing to settle for?

Men lost interest when they get used to it, and get bored if it is done repeatedly. Ask him what you can do to him to make him happy with you again, if the answer is negative, ask him what does he wanted you to do, even if it takes your heart to break it is better to know than keep you like that. If he wanted you to free him then the earlier the better, because it will come to this end anyway. Maybe he is just waiting for you to tell him first. I am sorry to say this but, you must think of this conclusion after he said he he can not put his feelings back again anymore..

Wake up lady..... let him go!

"There's nothing we can do to change the past, if it teaches  you a lesson profit from it then, forget it."

after 1 am ... can I still "smell good" at that time? I am all in tears...

Mila.. when I say: let's go out somewhere, he sais: GO YOURSELF!!!

Look what happened to me now, my husband sent me to manila coz i was lurking on QL all day long till midnight. waaaaah!

but still am heeeeeere! lol

make your self attractive and find something new to do. learn something new, either cookin lesson, salsa dance, yoga, paintin, ceramic class, etc...

make over to yourself. exercise to tone your body.. wear something different from your usual look. or take holiday on your own.. explore other world. am sure with time, he will missing you.

"I asked God, 'How do I get the best out of life?' God said, 'Face your past without regrets. Handle your present with confidence. And prepare for the future without fear!'

Admittedly I know very little about your relationship...but it SOUNDS to me like its very one sided....I know it may SEEM like you cannot be happy without this person, but in the end, you have to know you are getting everything you deserve out the relationship....otherwise it may be time to move on. Life is too short to be settling and unhappy.

I wish you the best of luck either way.

Stay safe. 

Perfection does not exist. The question therefore, is: what level of imperfection are we willing to settle for?

Don't worry. Come to me. I will pay specicial attention to you..

oh.. Apple, I cant stop laughin with your comments gal.. you really rocks!!! hahahhaaha

"I asked God, 'How do I get the best out of life?' God said, 'Face your past without regrets. Handle your present with confidence. And prepare for the future without fear!'

agreed to mila.. make him jealous.. if he dont pay attention to you act like your fed up also.. go out in the night also..

make your self attractive, wear sexy clothes, go to marks and spencer theres a lot of sexy lingerie there.. choose the best that you think your husband will like.. take a shower and make yourself smelling good before he arrive from work.. do it regurlarly.. you have o look after yourself gul.. maybe that is whats missing to you..

Maybe you are paying more attention on QL rather than your huband.

Now, choose...which is more important to you...QL or your husband?

no no.. i always follow HIS interests.. i help him a lot in all his matters.. I develop his ideas, i help him with english..i help him with his education.. whatever he just needs, i always there for him... but he said now, he can do it with me or without me! I think HE overgrew ME.. first he learned from me a lot. now it looks like he doesn't need me anymore.. and he wants to move on... and it really scares me... he sais he doens't WANT anything from me.. I am still ready to help him with everything, but he said: I dont want from YOU anything!

Pay some man to have interested with you. give you all the attention, and buy all the nice gift. but do it in very normal way.. make sure he knows that there is someone outhere admire you. see his reaction..

when he confront you later, just tell him, i want to test your feeling. and i got my answer. so the results will be either he is really jealous and start showing his evil horn and with this outcome either he realized how precious you are to him or he will total jerk and starting act/say unwanted thing, and the other result wil be, he really dont care. so prepare for anything.

"I asked God, 'How do I get the best out of life?' God said, 'Face your past without regrets. Handle your present with confidence. And prepare for the future without fear!'

try and rekindle what interested him in you to begin with....but even that may not be enough.

People grow and change, unfortunately sometimes in opposite directions....I HOPE that's not the case with you guys, but try and find out if you can grow in the same direction as him....learn what HIS interests are, and see if you can enjoy them with him...if not...

Stay safe.

Perfection does not exist. The question therefore, is: what level of imperfection are we willing to settle for?