for all those who are bored.. SITUATION...
(DO NOT EVEN TRY TO THINK IT IS MY SITUATION. I AM QUITE HAPPY IN MY RELATIONSHIP!!)
SITUATION...
You check His mobile (what a crime!!) and find very interesting messages that He is sending to other girl. He is saying that He misses Her and asks when He can see Her again. You realize that He keeps sending Her messages since about 2-3 months ago, but not permanently, once in a while…You also can understand from the messages that they had some break in seeing each other, and then He sent Her messages again…
You are upset, frustrated, shocked…
You have been with Him for at least 8 months. You try to remember His behavior during last 2-3 months, and you cannot really see any changes in the way He was acting. He was attentive as usual, He took care of you as usual, He spent a lot of time with you, taking you to the best places, He was saying to you all these nice words… you are confused… Does He see Her? How far did they get already?? Is he in love with her?? Or it is just for “fun” (but WHY) ??
To tell him that you know about this correspondence between Him and other girl? But how did you know about it? To tell that you checked His mobile means to kill his trust.. .But your trust to Him is killed already by discovering of these messages… To keep it inside, and not to tell him anything about it? You cannot just 'wait and see'…You have to talk about it, you have to know what’s going on…
GIRLS, what would you do in this situation?
GUYS, what would you expect us to do in this situation?
sigh..why did i never listen to older than me (with more experience to give advise)...next time..
once trust is shaken..putting it together is difficult, often times you will not get the outcome you want (been there done that)..
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If she cannot be open and honest with him about reading the messages, then why would she even want to be in a relationship with this man?
She should just calmly ask him if he is in contact with his ex. If he denies it, then she should walk away. If he admits to it, then they need to discuss why he is still talking to the ex and how far that conversation with the ex has gone and what it means.
She should also come clean about reading the messages, as they both have to forgive eachother to move on.
tra la la
i have been serious when I said that i understand you.. I really do...
Vegas...I liked your idea...lol...
..jassKat, this is the best way to keep relatioship in clean and trust!
I agree, Pop.. "Too many jealous and possessive Ladies".. as many as JEALOUS and POSSESSIVE GENTS...
.. that was my question: she cannot tell him that she read these messages...so what's the solution for this situation?
I am pretty young, so I don't have a lot o experience in this department, but I believe in the motto that once a liar, always a liar.
If this guy was lying about the other woman, get rid of him and find someone that wants to be in a committed mature relationship. Although that is always easier said than done!
On the snooping topic, it really depends on the person. My husband and I keep our email open and he doesn't mind if I look at his account since he has me send emails for him frequently! He has never looked at mine, but if he did I wouldn't care since its mostly just work related or junk mail! have nothing to hide, so I really don't care if he reads it or not.
tra la la
Vegas
Don't forget that you signed a prenuptial agreement with him or her.
p>
The Red Pope of Qatar Living
Abba, Abba, Padre!
Too many jealous and possessive ladies out there. Grow up people, that is not enough to judge someone or make a conclusion based on lack of attention.
Like PM said You just crossed the line of trust by invading his privacy.
I would dump that person in a heart beat, If I found that you are going through my things or personal phone. That just shows your level of maturity and respect.
The Red Pope of Qatar Living
Abba, Abba, Padre!
Dump him...
Unless your after his money...
Then marry him and then dump him...
:)
I understand you PM, specially your point regarding your "relationshipS and marriageS"...in MY relationshipS and marriageS it also never been a problem.. I erase my messages (if they are not related to the business)right away...
quite honestly, i have been in this situation..and it's really ugly...instinct made me do those, checking his mobile and eventually finding something out...yeah, i cross that boundary, breaking this trust..but he did it first (for sending messages like that to a girl he once had relationship) call rebounding...it's like weeks that we have dealt with the situation..:( wasn't easy to patch things out, specially when the main factor--trust is shaken...has to take lots of effort to forget and move on..
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as ive concluded my story, relationship MUST be based on honesty, trust ans respect..
how can you be respect someone who is dishonest to u? how can u trus a lier??
oh well i had a 3yr + relatiinship with this guy and as an addition to that we were best friends in highschool... after highschool i met him once only... and i left for qatar. after that i met him again after 2yrs... and then only we decided to be in a relationship...
BUT then again, all of us are unique, that why we can only give advices.. we can never tell anyone what to do..
it all goes down on the subjected person to decide how his/her life will run...
[[[[[[Be MorE Concerned AbouT YouR CharacteR ThaN YouR Reputation BecausE YouR CharacteR Is WhO YoU ArE AnD YoUr ReputaTioN Is WhaT OtherS ThinK Of YoU!!!]]]]]]
I have always been clear on that with my husband. I told him that if he ever feels the need to stray - tell me. I would rather he be honest with me then lie to me. Yes, it would hurt (especially after being together for 31 years - married for 24) and it would take time to heal. However, I know myself, in the end I would have respect for him for his honesty. I would do the same for him, if you don't have honesty in a relationship you pretty much have nothing. Just my humble opinion.
Lisa
That is true.
;-D
Same as you can see a glass as half empty or half full.Depends on your point of view.
:-D
*Create your own destiny,fighting against your dark sides,raise your
spirituality.Every day is a new day.A new life.
Keep the faith!*
depends on how special and how deep the relation was or is.
Sometimes it goes on much better then bevore.
:-D
*Create your own destiny,fighting against your dark sides,raise your
spirituality.Every day is a new day.A new life.
Keep the faith!*
see there is always 2 side for a coin
If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.
u did it once u can do it again
u know apples can never be strawberries
[[[[[[Be MorE Concerned AbouT YouR CharacteR ThaN YouR Reputation BecausE YouR CharacteR Is WhO YoU ArE AnD YoUr ReputaTioN Is WhaT OtherS ThinK Of YoU!!!]]]]]]
thats your point of view.
but you are right,it is a good joke.
what i meant is to not make the same mistakes again.
:-D
*Create your own destiny,fighting against your dark sides,raise your
spirituality.Every day is a new day.A new life.
Keep the faith!*
u mean second chance to do the same mistake a lot better then the first
If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.
we all make mistakes and i think everyone deserve a second chance to do it better.
:-D
*Create your own destiny,fighting against your dark sides,raise your
spirituality.Every day is a new day.A new life.
Keep the faith!*
there is no such thing as overnight changes in a relation .... its a gradual thing
If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.
i also told him before we started the relationship, that if we ever break up for reasons like this... i aint coming back, NO MATTER what... he did once, he can do it again... and personally i dont believe in overnight changes...
[[[[[[Be MorE Concerned AbouT YouR CharacteR ThaN YouR Reputation BecausE YouR CharacteR Is WhO YoU ArE AnD YoUr ReputaTioN Is WhaT OtherS ThinK Of YoU!!!]]]]]]
I would not lose my temper until I find out the truth. I would be very calm and collective. Like I said, I would find out the truth before confronting him. I would want to know the facts. I don't fly off the handle very easily, but lying to me is one of the worse things you can do. That is just how I have always been. I see lying as a major character flaw and can't stand it. If the person I am in a relationship with can't be honest with me then there is no relationship.
id have to take anger management classes...as i always loose my temper, very easily...
being calm is the best state of being at any time and at any cost
[[[[[[Be MorE Concerned AbouT YouR CharacteR ThaN YouR Reputation BecausE YouR CharacteR Is WhO YoU ArE AnD YoUr ReputaTioN Is WhaT OtherS ThinK Of YoU!!!]]]]]]
Sounds like his loss and your husband's gain. That is usally what happens. Guys think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence till they find out they can't climb back over LOL. His present girlfriend Miss Supermarket LOL, shouldn't blame you - you did not get in contact with him.
if u loose your temper u loose ... in this type of situation calm head prevails
If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.
goodnyt shreeya
[[[[[[Be MorE Concerned AbouT YouR CharacteR ThaN YouR Reputation BecausE YouR CharacteR Is WhO YoU ArE AnD YoUr ReputaTioN Is WhaT OtherS ThinK Of YoU!!!]]]]]]
well im not exactly sure how long they were seeing were seeing each other but be not that long.. i was with this guy for abt 3 yrs...
they both lost each other... just before i got married, he was around again, tryin to squeeze himself in my life again, and his gf now is trying to vent out at me... because i know i was so good to him and i know he wudnt find someone like me...
hahaha. another funny thing as my name is JAMIE... his gf's name now is JAMIA... (sound like the arabic word JAMAIA=supermarket)
and this girl is constantly checkng my account in friendster!
[[[[[[Be MorE Concerned AbouT YouR CharacteR ThaN YouR Reputation BecausE YouR CharacteR Is WhO YoU ArE AnD YoUr ReputaTioN Is WhaT OtherS ThinK Of YoU!!!]]]]]]
Seee u buddy,...have a fabulous evening...infact...have a good night sleep...tomorrow wake up to a routine morning of school and stuff...of family...
So and ofcourse thanks for the support...LOL...
Chalo then u take care and good night chief,,...
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" Live Life To The Fullest ! Enjoy Yourself "
I am really feeling sleepy now...so many spelling mistakes in that last post...
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I would call the other female and tell who I am. Get her side of the story (it's not her fault if he is cheating on me) then, I would confront him. If he isn't truthful with me then it is adios amigo!!! Once a cheater always a cheater (usually). If he really wanted me he would do everything in his power to fix the situation but it would take a lot for me to trust him again. This little Cajun girl has a very big temper....
Lisa
Qatarisun,
Ksa is the nicest guy on QL....Is that enough for you Ksarat?
So on a pleasnt note Goodnight everybody ans sweet dreams!!!!!!
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so you want to say, that your guy have being seeing you and that girl at the same time for so long? And he was as nice to you as usual? wow.. what a cheater!!!
Shreeya...good that i made ur evening more relaxed...hmmmm....now every day assuring u that u look beautiful is gonna take a toll on me girl...lol...but yea for sure once in a while i will do that for sure...
By the way please do spread the word bout the Shaan show...alrite girl...u cud do that for me amongst ur friends circle...(after all i did refer to u as beautiful...lol)...
Qatarisun: welll girl, that was my answer...face ur worst reality...who knows it cud do u wonders...as i told u already...ur freind can always count on me...after she ditches that guy who was double crossing her...LOL...And as a guarantee me being a nice person...guess...Shreeya can vouch for it...can u girl...jus do that before u go to sleep in peace....LOL...
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" Live Life To The Fullest ! Enjoy Yourself "
I will tell him that I happened to read the messages from his mobile about the messages he sent 2-3 months ago . I will ask him, what was it all about. I will expect him to get upset with me on checking his mobile (btw, I don't do this, I respect personal stuff and privacy of individual even he is my bf) but I will tell him I just need to know since I found it and it's bothering me. I will ask him, if there is something now I have to worry about then if there is what is it? If he doesn't want to talk about it then I will wait for him to open up and I will make him open up ;-)
Cheers,
*** I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places. M. Twain***
you are funny...lol..
ksarat16, i am girl, at least have being a girl till this night...
..we said, She doesn't want to disclose that she checked the mobile...
been there on that situation... he even tried to hide it... how i reacted??? sure i was furious!!! he made him self so innocent... first few minutes we talked abt it, he thought he made me believe that the messages were innocent.... trying to say that the girl was pushing herself into him.... well a womans instincts is evry dangerous... i was quite abt it for a few days, until idid my own "ïnvestigation"... i pretended to his aunt... acting like the phone number kept appearing on the fone bills... HARHAR, shes s2pd as well... she introduced herself to me, she evn called me auntie... anyways days went by, i revealed who i was, she even knows a lot of things abt me, where i live, which school i went and all other stuff, shes quite creepy. she also asked me to meet her thrice... but she never showed up... until the time i was leaving for qatar, she kept buggin me to meet her... whats funny is that when the time she gave comes, she's nowhere to be found... and so is my xbf... not much happenned except for me biting there heads of even in the 1st day got here...
so i therefore conclude that relationship should be based on TRUST & HONESTY & RESPECT...
[[[[[[Be MorE Concerned AbouT YouR CharacteR ThaN YouR Reputation BecausE YouR CharacteR Is WhO YoU ArE AnD YoUr ReputaTioN Is WhaT OtherS ThinK Of YoU!!!]]]]]]
Well, you call me beautiful and made my night too..I mean I mean now I can have a nice sound sleep...lol...You know at my age somebody should assure it on daily basis that I still look beautiful....
No Ksa, I missed SP show....But I still remember his songs from Maine Pyaar kiya...biggest hit when I was in my twenties....
Sorry Qatarisun for a little hijack....
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Hey there beautiful...how u doin...keeping a password...clever i shud say...dumb guy not to put a password on the mobile...how u doin girl by the way...hows life been...been away a long time i wud say...did u go to the SP Bala...show this past thursday...
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" Live Life To The Fullest ! Enjoy Yourself "
to assume means ur making an assOFu&me
[[[[[[Be MorE Concerned AbouT YouR CharacteR ThaN YouR Reputation BecausE YouR CharacteR Is WhO YoU ArE AnD YoUr ReputaTioN Is WhaT OtherS ThinK Of YoU!!!]]]]]]
Well, I am a guy...to be frank enuff...while I wudnt expect or accept it...it wud rather be good enuff to blow the bubble and ask the guy...directly ... its like now or never boy...so go for it..ask it...rather keeping this in the heart and not being able to give it ur best shot at the relation...there are other guys who are worth the time of this lady(me for example ...LOL)...but yea...dont waste time....there is only one shot at life...so might as well make the best use of it....
What do u think...r u a girl or a guy...by the way...whats ur take on the opinion
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" Live Life To The Fullest ! Enjoy Yourself "
But hey, for the same reason I put the password to my mobile...LOL
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to ASSUME is a mother of all ill will
If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.
Its not a soap...its based on some real life situations, like the same you have mentioned here. So I will get the detectives and catch him red handed....LOL...Eventually, after creating a big scene I will forgive him......
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i feel tht d girl shud confront d guy and give him an ultimatum if she thinks d relatnship is worth it or just kick d guy 2 d curb...once a cheater always a cheater!!
I haven't...is it's on TV? I almost don't watch TV...And I ask,WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
you clearly understand from the messages that there WAS something or there IS something...The words, the expressions... let's assume that it's clear that these are intimate messages (not just to some friend)
Hey, have you seen 'Cheaters' on Zone Reality'?
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the message could be innocent telling somebody u miss is not a crime
If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.