An embarrassing moment (only read if broadminded, please - I don't wanna be banned)
I THINK YOU'RE THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says, " hello".
He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me?"
To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???
She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I'm your son's teacher."
...still stuck in office. =(
You're a riot with the jokes!
it was the 'wet celery' part I was worried about - was scared it may upset the vegetarians on this site. tee hee
Wish you all a super week end. I guess most are off work by now so have a good one!
I like to see you are in shape dear. I don't see any reason for getting banned. I have seen much naughtier jokes. Thanks God, qatari and the moderators are quite open minded :)
May the roof above us never fall in, and may the friends below never fall out!
that was the best laughter pill for the weekend
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very funny, but go get yer own thread! I don't mind getting banned for what *I* wrote, but I aint taking your ban on board also :P
Two qataris walk into a building..........you'd think at least one
of them would have seen it.
A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts.
The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts".
A qatari went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but complained to the manager he couldn't find any.
I went to the Meat section in MegaMart the other day and I bet the clerk 50 riyals that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, No, the steaks are too high.
My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him
in.
A man came round in HMC after a serious accident. He shouted,
"Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!". The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I've cut your arms off".
I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a muscle.
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the
craft, it sank. Proving once and for all that you can't have your
kayak and heat it.
Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered
with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head.
Doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it".
'Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home'.
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
'Is it common?'
"It's not unusual".
A man takes his Rottweiller to the vet. "My dog's cross-eyed, is
there anything you can do for him?" "Well", says the vet, "let's have a look at him". So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What, because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy".
Guy goes into the doctor's. "Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up
my backside". "How's that?" "Don't you start".
Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom! !!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you
give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your
oyster, go for it."
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5
people n my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my Mum or my Dad, or my older Brother Colin , Or my younger Brother Ho-Cha-Chu? I think its Colin.
Two fat blokes in the pearl nightclub, one says to the other "your round". The other one says "So are you, you fat bast**d!"
Police arrested two kids yesterday in Al-Wakkrah. One was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today.
They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.
A man walked into the doctors, he said, "I've hurt my arm in
several places". The doctor said, "Well don't go there anymore".
lmao Jauntie ... x
Jauntie...ROFL...that was hilarious...just thats persons face...lol