is it rude?

Happens very often in Qatar. Something to do with desperation, some of them will try anything. Very creepy.

But yes, like Xena said, show confidence. Maybe don't overdo it like I do, cos my body language when I'm out on my own is generally "come near me and I'll beat the c**p outta ya!" Not so good. Most unladylike but it works, though. :0)

yeah

thats awful, i know there alot of strange men here. They even stare and are creepy to me as a blonde white man. I see your here as a teacher, me too. How are you finding it here?

Greg.

dont try to enter the lift if it contains man/men only. better safe than sorry.

I just don't get it... someone tells of her experience in a lift in Qatar and someone else goes on to say she must not dress provocatively....

and then goes on to give the stats of rape in the US.... Transporter - I would think the stats of rape in South Africa are way higher - not a bragging point, but my point is.... Most South African women are not provocative dressers - infact, I am pretty good at noticing a South African in Doha cause we all dress the same - jean/pants and NON revealing tops - now please, can you explain to me why SA has one of the highest rape stats if we don't dress in the manner you maintain causes 'unwanted attention'?

If you will notice too, Fatimah has also had that experience, in Doha, in full Niqab... now how do you explain that one?

Plushed, sorry you had this happen - I can tell you from experience that you have to show confidence and never fear - the men here seem to recognise when a lady doesn't take any nonsence and back off right away - they pray on the ones they think will accept the advances because they are to scared to react...

I brough a South African police issue CS gas canister with me, used it once - am almost sure the guy never bothered another female again;-P

that there are some differences in men and women, and what is viewed as threatening or uncomfortable. If you don't see the difference, I don't know what to tell you.

If a girl ask my name in a lift or strike up a conversation but in a courteous manner, I think it's not rude. Vice versa, if a guy do that to a girl would it be any different? Well it depends on the manner of how a stranger approaches but it's not rude to talk to strangers but there are limits...

Twice is a row better to change your accommodation. May be perverts are living in that building.

Or where she is from? It really isn't any of our business and is rude and forward to approach a woman in the manner described here. What surprises me is that some of you cavemen don't get it and have all the smooth moves of flat tyre.

I like to try that if the girl is cute but I'm a shy person so... One can only wonder, hmmm... I think it's not rude but a person or a guy must know when to back off especially after making a conversation or asking someone's name and the other person seems not interested just endure the awkward silence... haha

understand anyway.

You probably have no idea that these statistics are not even reported and noted in a lot of the world because of the shame attached to them and the punitive position towards women in many societies.

Like you said, you can't understand so I don't need to waste much time on you.

ok ex.ex,expat. can you tell me why 1 rape incident happen every 6 min. in the civilized so called usa? i could'nt under stand this maybe because am a caveman thank you.

thanks, flor.. i do like the people i live with so make sure to be cautious now..

MxY for the clarification.. i was just a little concerned about your comment: "But girls in this forum seem to ask for a separate lady's lift :)" anyhow, thank you, will try to find out if there's a watchman in the building.

Someone advised to use pepperspray :)) Never do that in a closed area or lift.

You will both and up breathless and burning :)

I am not criticizing you "plushed". What this guy did was totally out of line. Unfortunately you have noone in the building to file complaints. You might ask the landlord about security or guards stationed there. Maybe you just don't know about them. Or find out in which apartment this guy lives and file an official complaint to the police.

it won't happen again. Take precautionary action or change accommodation!

MxY - right. see, there are ome ways to ask it without being too blunt and make the situation seem uncomfortable. offer your greetings and introduce yourself first -- isnt that the right way to do it? rather than asking "whats your name?" the first time you break the silence. and i never did mention that it only happens in Qatar.

btw, i do enter the lift with guys inside, provided there is a woman in there too.

I agree, saying hi and asking for names are totally different things. It's creepy for a girl to be stuck in the lift with such a guy.

But this kind of harassment is not unique just for Qatar, it happens all over the world.

I believe it is in much much less frequency in Doha.

So let's not scare all girls from taking the lift with guys. People judge the Saudis about their applications. But girls in this forum seem to ask for a separate lady's lift :)

I live in the first floor. Entering the lift, saying hi and getting out takes me 7 sec. no chance for a conversation even if we wanted to :)

if he ask you! Lol! Good morning Saeed!

bodyguard!! for evry1 & u r only one...

oh... i too had a bad experience in the lift, and tht too in a less crowded lift in city center...

to the topic: i too feeel its simply weird to ask ur name & trying 2 b frndly on the very first site....

Fatimah - omg! thats terrible. i hope that wont happen again to you or to anyone for that matter..

It was terrible. Mind you the last incident was just a few months back..Subhanallah!

FathimaH, quite scary to read your horrible experience..Thank GOD! I've never faced such incident in DOHA so far..

I have been followed home by perveted men on many frightening occasions and have faced also men trying to hit on me as well...oh and guess what? I'm a niqabi mom and wear the jilbab! Lets face it..its not how you look and/or dress sometimes..perverts are everywhere and hardly need provocation.

you did the right thing plushed, be careful next time

It's not rude at all..Good that you acted bit smartly and showed him the way..Better avoid boarding the lift if you are not comfortable with the strangers...

You can never be too careful here.In fact Islamicly its something we are adviced to do as when you are alone in any enclosed areas with an unknown man/ men there are definitely dangers. I would rather run up or down all eight floors of my apartment building(which I do anyways lol) than risk my life and safety!

Oryx - will try. i'll go get some practice done. hehe

MxY - i have no problems with hi or hello or returning the greeting ... but thats just it. i dont feel comfortable exchanging names on the first time i see someone in a lift. btw, in my previous accomodation, i met this wonderful lady while i was helping her put her shopping bags which was much to carry, and everytime we met we exchange pleasantries.. but i never knew her name.

Aisha - yep, maybe cuz you're boxed in.. still, its creepy.

They try to talk to you while in an elevator coz you have no way out lol!

It's veryyy creeeeeepy.. but COMMON :(

I always try to avoid occupied elevators..

Since we are living in the same building, i always try to greet people and smile at them. And most people are really friendly and nice.

But i there are also some ladies who read such harassment stories and get too much affected by them.

Lift door opens and you see these ladies and as a normal person you just say "hello/good morning/hi" and you get nothing in return. You are old, fat, ugly. Why the hell you think someone is harassing you or hitting on you? She thinks she is a blessing :))

My conclusion, be nicer to nice people, be ruder to rude people, be more indifferent to indifferent people ;-)

I avoid taking the lift... when there are ladies in it... I am afraid I might get my bottom pinched...lol

On a Serious note: Plushed I think you should change your residence... you seem to be having morons for neighbours...

go back in your cave if that is the best you can manage.

utter rubbish

plushed you do have to practice a snarl and an evil eye!

thanks for all the useful advise, guys..

its unfortunate we dont have a watchman or a security in our building, if we do have one, i dont know where he is hiding. :P

btw,Good old joe -- i am not too happy or enjoy the attention --- its unsolicited.

qatarisun- some people mistakes me as chinese.

transporter970 - i do not wear short or revealing clothes as someone always reminds (and checks) what i wear. btw i agree with expat -- its never right to harass someone no matter what she is wearing wherever she is.

then it's okay for men to harass her? What cave did you crawl out of transporter?

i guess it's one of three:

1-either you dress revealing or short cloths.

2-you are extremely pretty.

3-you met a pervert.

*finally my advice ,never be with a man alone in any situation without others,hope you got the message.

haha,thanx god ,i was'nt there..... : )

and there is nothing wrong with avoiding getting into a lift with anyone you don't feel comfortable with. I actually think you should have reported the first guy to the security in the building.

No, it's smart. Women travelers are advised to just shake their heads politely when the elevator stops for her and there is a man or men already on it. And if you are alone and a man gets on, just step out the door and wait for the next one. Don't even think twice, just make this your habit.

Mandi

If you feel uncomfortable getting into a lift with anyone for any reason, don't get into the lift. If you are already in the lift and it stops to let someone on, feel free to get off and wait for the next one to continue your ride. Don't worry about being rude or polite. Your own comfort level should come first.

you are responsible for your safety.

Who cares who thinks it is rude..... you have just got to do what you think is the safest for you.

But it's the first time I heard MEN BEHAVING BADLY in a lift.

But words of (unsolicited) advise:

1.) If you don't want to talk to the person/guy sharing the lift with you...NEVER or AVOID making eye contact, smile or even NOD to the person.

2.) If they ask you where you from: "answer them with a question: WHY DO YOU WANNA KNOW?

3. If they persist: SAY in a FIRM & CLEAR VOICE: I'M NOT INTERESTED.

4. BE CALM AND KEEP YOUR COMPOSURE...if they see/feel you're uncomfortable/intimidated, the more they persist.

If you have housemates, call them to meet you in the lobby so you have someone to accompany you in the lift.

Plushed should have replied 'Basement'

did he ask you where are you from? was not it obvious?

according to my opinion, not necessary to get packed in the lift if its occupied already... let him go and wait for the lift to come next...that dimwit got a chance to abuse u in the lift where no one can see him...! if i would be in ur place... would not prefer to step in the lift with stranger... :)

Just enjoy the attention and for all you know this guys in the lift maybe just trying to say hello. Not everyone you come across is what you think they are

Not here but had a similar experience in Dubai. Since then, never entered the lift occupied by stranger.

well, the guy should understand what opinion the lady carries about him at the first place so that he doesn't 'shock' her by any unexpected question or remark...

i guess there's a fine line between stupidity and the ability to be successfully extrovert..

Why not ask him his name too?

plushed, me too, I wanna know where to buy Mace.. let me know when you find one... is stun gun allowed here?

you should have kicked his a55 on the spot. lols

yea, where can i buy it?

janiceindoha - unfortunately, there's no guard in this building :(

marhba - why would you ask someone her name the first time you see her in the lift?

flan, is there any shop here that sells it? I'm thinking of buying one..

@ tinkerbell - thats what im trying to do now.. but i dont take the stairs, i wear heels when going out. :P

@ shapil - lol. nice advice .. will try, if ever. :)

@ rishimba, whyteknight - hi or hello is fine i guess if you've seen them a few times or build a little, harmless rapport.. but to bluntly ask my name the first time he opens his mouth is weird, isnt it?

what is wrong to tell ur name if some one asked u decent way since you know he is living in same building.

I am not one of those guys and also not supporting them of cource it is bad act what one of them had done it.

I was accosted by 2 strangers inside the lift to my work but immediately reported to the security officer and they were dealt with harshly.Do the same and dont panic.

you can't be too trusting these days...

buy pepper spray, or carry a taser.

my office is on the 6th floor and i see some ladies working in the same or the other floors almost everyday in the elevator.

its generally a smile out of politeness or a 'hello' that's exchanged..

oneday, i couldnt resist complimenting one of those ladies for her attractive bracelet she was flaunting and i thought i would break the ice of silence...i did.

we are friends now...:)

This is a weird situation...But who would have the guts to make conversation with an unknown lady?Havent heard of such forceful ways at least here where one can be deported anytime for such unethical behaviour.You have to be very stern and rude and work on your body language.My female Friends would either slap hard,call the police or pick up the slippers and hit anyone trying to get fresh.Nothing speaks louder than action these days....

It's inappropriate behaviour. I also think it's borderline sexual harrassment. I personally have no qualms getting inside a lift with a man.

But in this situation, I would rather wait for the next lift. One way to stop the harassment? Wear a wedding band. and call a fake tel. no and pretend it's your husband. Failing that, tell them straight that they will be reported to the police.

Next time if you enter a lift with guys then just put ur mobile phone to your ears and pretend to talk to some/any body...just sprinkle ur monologue with words like police station, cid, AIDS, medicine etc..this way u will not only not give him any chance to interact but also make him stand as far away from you as possible.

No, never.

Never tried it, maybe an occasional smile or Good Morning if it is someone whom I have seen a few times in the building.